3 Keys to Meeting Women

Forget the magic words and clever lines

Most men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to talk to them. While there is no such "magic word," there are three keys to communicating with a woman that work every single time.

This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to suggest to you is a simple approach that has worked every single time I or one of my students have used it.

Here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman:

Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing. Take the example of a woman standing behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her groceries. What is she putting on the conveyor belt? If she's behind you in line at Starbucks, what is she ordering? What is she eating?

Notice everything she's doing. Let the environment give you something to say.

Most guys think of something to say that's so random it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's mind.

Women actually make fun of these guys and say, "You won't believe what he actually came over and said to me."

Step 2: Act on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For instance, if a woman is ordering a double espresso, the thing to talk about is usually the first thing that comes to your mind.

A typical guy might say, "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no answer. A man who is 100 percent present will look at her and say, "Rough night last night?" or "Busy day ahead?" What you're trying to do is stay inside her head and remain in her current thought process.

It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's already experiencing. A woman will share something that's already going on in her head.

Another example: you're standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over and make an assumption like "Is your friend late?" This will in turn open up a conversation based upon feelings and emotions.

Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally.

They don't want to bond with you randomly. This leads us to Step 3.

Step 3: Listen to What She Has to Say. In order to have good conversation and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she says. If you listen to her, you will know what to say next. It's called a conversation for a reason.

A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a script in their head about what to say next. That's not a conversation -- that's a bad screenplay.

For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a suitcase, obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway. So what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her:

Guys: "So where are you going?"

Girl: "New Jersey."

Immediately one of them says, "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa."

That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat.

The correct thing to say in this situation is this:

Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?

Girl: "The shore for the weekend."

Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the weekend and ask her about her trip.

Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying there?"

If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling her they're from Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a conversation about the shore, vacations -- and who knows where the conversation might go.

Men complicate things for no reason. There are no magic lines that you can say, but in reality if men just talked to women like they talk to their closest friends, they would have amazing conversations. Men just need to relax and listen to what women are saying.

Do this and you're going to have great conversations. It's that simple! Get out of the house, observe, react and listen!