Monday, May 31, 2010

What do Power Transmission Towers do during Load Shedding?

Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. Its best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but its best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. Its easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but its usually not as much fun.

6. Its usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. Its best to have a soft place to land.

8. You dont need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If youre with someone who is having trouble keeping up, its usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes its nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once youre over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That's why some of them are called Mountin Bikes.

Don't Give up

A Divorce Lawyer


1. January to December
Sunday to Saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed...... ..
a HEADACHE to me !!!!

2.. When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the
World seems to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u an eye
specialist !!

3. If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

4. During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the
horse ? He is given his last chance to run away.

5. Just close ur eyes and think of yourself for 10 seconds..... .
Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool........ ....

7. I wrote ur name on the sands....... ......
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......

8. LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes... But dont worry - we are chain smokers

9. ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

10. True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy so when
u need true love spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

11. Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

12. I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I felt DRU! NK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water.....!!!

13. when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot

14. Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to
exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !

15. The human brain is most outstanding thing........
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love

16. SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality SO....
Brush ur Teeth FROM today onwards

17. A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

18. History Teacher : F! rom where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....

19. Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide


Apologizing does not mean that you are wrong and the other person is right...
It simply means that you value the relationship much more than your ego...


God's Prescription for HAPPINESS

A man prayed before God :

"I want happiness"

God said :

First remove" I ", which represents "ego" ;

Then remove "WANT",which represents "desires";

Finally you will be left with "Happiness".

Oh God, what a simple Solution !

A Brief but Apt Thought

Team Effort

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable conversing in English, go and prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his standard response to the first question after winning

But this time.....
After Winning the Match

Tony Greg :
So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!

Inzamam :
Thanks Tony…!

All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi.
It was tight situation when he went in.

Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions.

It's all a terrific team effort.

Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.

Tony fainted!!!!!!

Questions you can Never Answer

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.........

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


Whenever you want to know how rich you are?
Never count your currency, just try to drop a Tear
& count how many hands reach out to WIPE it.
- that's true richness


Some basic facts on Men and Women~~~~~~~~~~~~

First Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.

7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Now Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, again they NEVER have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

How to Deal With Mean People in Your Life

This weekend I had a very frustrating incident. As I was getting into a taxi, the driver got distracted and started driving off without checking if I had closed the door. Can you imagine my shock when I had one leg inside the car and the car suddenly started moving? I literally jumped inside, but my ankle still got caught in the door. Besides an ugly bruise I got a piece of the driver’s mind about how long it takes for SOME people to get into a car. No “I’m sorry!” No “Are you ok?” Nothing! I am usually good at controlling my temper, but this time all I could think of was how much I want to smack this rude man and give him a piece of my mind about his manners.

Do you often let a rude taxi driver, an uncaring boss, an insensitive co-worker or an arrogant stranger ruin your day? Have you ever wondered why sometimes people purposely say or do mean things?

I could come up with 4 main reasons:

a) They try to overcompensate for their hurt Ego. Someone has hurt them in the past when they felt especially vulnerable and now they are trying to regain their power and self-confidence by hurting you.

b) They secretly fear that they have the same quality that they are making fun of. For example, if a person makes derogatory remarks about someone being overweight, they are most likely insecure about their own body and are afraid that people will notice it too.

c) They are deeply attached to their sufferings and failures. As weird as it may seem, many people refuse to let go of their negativity, because it brings some drama into their life and gives them something to worry about.

d) They crave attention and love. Just like teenagers when reaching a difficult age act out of spite to prove their own independence, adults defy social norms to get attention and a strong emotion out of you (even if it is a negative emotion).

How do you respond to mean people?

I have noticed that there are two spontaneous reactions when it comes to dealing with negative people 1) we get mean and rude back or 2) we let them run all over us while boiling inside with righteous indignation. Neither of these options seems particularly attractive.

In fact there is a better way to deal with mean people – do not let them get to you.

There is a great story on this topic:

“One day a man came up to Buddha and spat in his face. Buddha, slowly wiped of the spit with his shawl and asked, “Do you have anything more to say?” The man was not ready for this question, and ashamed he ran away.

That night the man could not get to sleep, because he realized that he had actually offended an enlightened person. The next morning he came back and fell in front of Buddha on his knees. Again Buddha looked at him and asked, “Do you have anything else to say”. The man was completely puzzled, “Yesterday I offended you and you didn’t get mad, today I am begging for your forgiveness and you are not happy. Why?!” Buddha looked at him with his peaceful smile and said, “Because I am not your Slave”.

You can not enter a lake filled with silt and dirty water and come out clean. When you let mean people drag you down to their level, they start to control your actions and their negativity rubs off on to you.

Think of mean people as huge garbage trucks. They are full of anger, frustration, hatred, disappointments and negativity. When that garbage starts to pile up, they feel the need to dump it on someone else (preferably someone who is in a good mood). If you have been chosen as a dump spot, do not allow them to run over you and do not spread this negativity onto other people.

Refuse to take all angry or offensive comments close to heart. Just smile and wish those people well, because they are the ones who deserve compassion more than anyone else. After all they carry tons of emotional garbage with them 24/7.

I do not like to use the phrase “kill them with kindness”, because it sounds vindictive. If behind your bright smile lays an attempt to provoke the person even further, then you are no better than they are. If you can not be truly kind to someone who is being mean to you, polite indifference will do just fine.

Remember, you do not have to attend every argument that you are invited to. Just say, “No, thanks” and move on to something that brings you joy and distracts your mind from indulging in negative emotions. You can pray, think of your favorite quote, sing a song in your head or just recall a funny story from your past. For example, when I feel irritated I usually repeat my positivity “mantra”. That is the only reason why one infamous taxi driver did not get yelled at.

Stop Password Expiration

After you have run Windows XP for a while, you may receive this message when you log on:"Your password will expire in 14 days.."

By default, Windows XP is set up with passwords which will expire after 42 days. 14 days in advance, Windows will start warning you of this fact. If you do not want your passwords to expire:

Go to Start > Run and in the Open: box type control userpasswords2
Select the Advanced tab in the User Accounts window

Press the Advanced button below the Advanced user management header
Select Users in the Local Users and Groups.

In the right pane, right-click the user name for which you want to change the
setting, and select Properties.

On the General tab, check Password never expires

Click Apply and OK, exit!

Friday, May 28, 2010

5 Non-Obvious Keys to Success

Usually successful people are praised for their talents, incredible persistence, unbending will-power, high self-confidence, brilliant intelligence and inexhaustible creativity. There is a possibility that just one person can possess all these wonderful and obvious qualities. But I sincerely do not think that ALL successful people are these “god-like” creatures who do not make mistakes or have bad days, like the rest of us mortals.

In fact, my experience shows otherwise. I have been fortunate to meet many highly successful people (some of them are my good friends) and I can tell you that at a first glance they seem no different from me or you. (and, yes, successful people have unproductive days and family arguments, just like everyone else).

But if you look closer you will notice that there are a few things that most successful people intuitively do right. You will never hear them talk about it, because I do not think the majority of them even realize that they are taking these actions.

It is actually funny, but most famous people achieve success first and then assume that they must have done it, because of their unstoppable determination and bright mind.

If you want to be successful, stop comparing your personal qualities with the list of “The top 20 traits of successful people”! You only set yourself up for disappointment and self-esteem problems.

Instead concentrate your efforts on doing just these 5 ridiculously easy things:

1. Do an extra 1%.

In business to gain total control of a company it is not enough to have more stakes than any other stake holder. You need 51%. In politics 1% preponderance determines the future of a whole country. Similar, when your odds for success or failure are equal, it is often 1% of your effort, your attitude, and your determination that makes a difference.

Do you remember a task that you did not have time for, but you managed to do anyway? Or when you were on the verge of giving up, but you persisted a little bit longer? Or the time when you wanted to roll your eyes and slam the door in your boss’s face but you clung to the last note of patience and, therefore, avoided an open argument? This one percent of extraordinary effort often manifests in ordinary situations.

If on a daily basis you manage to: do something a little better, resist the temptation to “throw in the towel” a little longer, try a little harder not to jump to conclusions about what other people are or are not– I promise you that you WILL become successful.

2. Overcome stagnation.

What sets successful people apart from not-so-successful people is the speed of implementation. I have noticed that successful people do not try to learn everything that they possibly can about a subject, before acting on their ideas. Nor do they waste their time trying to get something done perfectly.

When successful people learn a new theory or get an interesting idea, they test it immediately. If it fails, they move on quickly. But if it brings positive results they improve it as they go.

3. Let go of a big ego.

Your chances of success are inversely proportional to the size of your ego. The bigger your ego is, the harder it will be for you to become and stay successful. Why? Because a big ego dreads failures and cannot accept being wrong.

Most people with a big ego would rather be seen as stubborn, uncompromising or unpleasant than acknowledge the fact that they have made a mistake and risk losing prestige in the eyes of others. It is natural that if you do not accept your mistakes, you will never learn from them, and, therefore, always remain on the same level.

4. Help others succeed.

Why do you think successful people write self-help books, sharing with everyone, who is ready to listen, their knowledge and experience? Surely they do not do it to make an extra buck or become famous – they already have all that! Highly successful people know something most of us have not yet discovered – success breeds success. The more you help others to succeed, the more successful you will be. Think about it…

The best way to make friends and create strong relationships is to be sincerely interested in another person’s thoughts, ideas and opinions. The fastest way to grow your business is to sell products that help people resolve a certain problem that they are currently facing. The easiest way to really grasp information that you have read and memorized is to teach it to someone else. Do not hold back your best ideas, your knowledge, and your help. Give and it will be given to you!

5. Build on your strengths and forget your weaknesses.

Most people believe that in order to be successful, they have to concentrate their efforts on improving their shortcomings and developing skills that they lack. In reality this is the path of most resistance. It is much harder to become something you are not than to be a lot more of who you already are.

For example, when I first started my own website, I did everything: designed all the graphics, did the programming, wrote articles, replied to emails, studied marketing and installed new plug-ins to help my website run smoothly. I finally realized that what I like doing is writing and talking to people. I sucked at programming. My web design was very unimpressive. But worst of all, the quality of my articles gradually started to suffer, because I was constantly stressed out, distracted and tired. By trying to become “ok” at everything, I could not dedicate enough time to be great at the one thing that I do best. Learn from my mistake!

Successful people are successful, because they know how to get the maximum out of their strengths and how to find people who compensate for their weaknesses.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Be willing to learn, and a teacher will appear.

Be willing to work, and numerous opportunities
For making a valuable, positive difference
Will come your way.

Your willingness is a key that unlocks life's abundance.
Your willingness helps open your eyes to,
And prepares you for whatever you are willing to be or to do.

Your willingness is not merely what you say it is.
True willingness resides in the deepest part of who you are.

Be willing, and you will gain access to
Whatever you need to get the job done.

Be willing, and you will find a way.
Many things seem out of reach only
Because you imagine them to be so.

Have the courage to be sincerely willing,
And the impossible can become real.

Be willing to make a difference in each moment,
And your world will overflow with possibilities.

Be willing to experience a life of richness and fulfillment,
And that is precisely how it will unfold.

Indian Flag Made of Colored Smoke

Fun Shots

Why Bother Working Hard,Nobody Notices Anyway.



A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "

Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation


In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.

In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.


In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.

In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.


During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.

During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.


There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.

There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.


Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"

Monday, May 24, 2010


Laugh when you can, apologize when you should,
let go of what you can't change and have no regrets.

7 tips to Control your Hunger

Our fitness trainers try to force us on a diet; our doctors warn us to control our food intake thanks to our high cholesterol levels; our wives and girlfriends have warned us they will walk out on us because of that excess baggage pouring over our belts! It is not as if we haven't tried. But it is just so darned hard to control our hunger! Sound familiar? Stay tuned. Rediff offers you tips to control that darn hunger so that you can go ahead and finally be successful in your attempts to stop overeating. Read more after the break...

1.Eat small frequent meals.

Want to lose weight? Eat more -- frequently, that is. Your body needs food to provide energy, repair damaged muscle tissue, and to carry out various other functions. But there are only so many nutrients it can draw from each meal. Large meals mean more nutrients than your body can handle, thus causing an 'overflow effect'. Thus, go for smaller, more frequent meals. They provide just the right amount of nutrients every few hours, without causing that overflow effect. They also maintain blood sugar levels, thus keeping your appetite and energy levels in control.

2. Don't skip meals!

Skipping meals and going too long without food can turn hunger pangs into irresistible cravings. To start with, don't skip breakfast! It is amazing how so many people skip this meal. If you are one of those, change that nasty food habit. NOW! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Your first meal of the day helps replenish all those nutrients lost during that all-night fast. It raises those early morning low blood sugar levels. Missing out on this meal means setting you up for low blood sugar levels and, thus, low energy levels and irresistible hunger pangs and cravings at lunchtime.

3. Eat your veggies!

Vegetables are healthy. They are chockfull with nutrients that can boost your health. They are also rich in fibre, the dieters' secret weapon to control hunger. While all vegetables are beneficial as far as good health and hunger control go, certain veggies, like broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and mushrooms, are super-high in fibre and have a negligible amount of calories. They can fill your stomach and control your hunger while filling you with a small amount of calories.

4. Eat more whole grains and less refined carbohydrates.

Whole grains, besides being healthier than their 'nutrient-stripped' refined counterparts, are also higher in fibre.
Thus they are more filling and satisfying. While refined carbs -- like idlis, dosas, white bread, white rice -- may be low in fat, they are higher in fibre. You may run the risk of over-consuming calories.

5. Eat slowly!

Give it a shot. It actually works. The brain actually takes ten minutes longer than the stomach to receive the message that it is full. Thus, eating too fast might cause you to eat beyond the point of fullness without even realising.

6. Sleep and shed those pounds!

Studies have found that people who sleep only five hours every night were 50 per cent more likely to be obese than those who sleep seven to nine hours. Researchers believe lack of sleep affects hormones related to appetite, causing you to gain pounds.

7. Drink more water!

Water is the healthiest, cheapest and most easily available appetite suppressant around. Thirst is often mistaken as hunger. Also, foods with high water content can fill you up easily. They naturally pack fewer calories for their volume. Toss together a salad of lettuce, cucumbers.

Don't call me bhaiya...ultimate!

This Message is Written inside an Auto Ricksaw in Hindi,
Which Reads: "Don't Call me Brother when you are Sitting with your Boy Friend. Thank You"

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Difference between http & https

**The main difference between http:// and https:// < HTTPS://> is.

It's all about keeping you secure**

HTTP stands for HyperText Transport Protocol , which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language , in a manner of speaking) for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.

The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS.

The S (big surprise) stands for "Secure". If you visit a website or webpage , and look at the address in the web browser , it will likely begin with the following: http://.

This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular 'unsecure' language.

In other words , it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's conversation with the website.

If you fill out a form on the website , someone might see the information you send to that site.

This is why you never ever enter your credit card number in an http website!

But , if the web address begins with https:// < HTTPS://> , that basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.

You understand why this is so important , right?

If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information , you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https:// < HTTPS://> .

If it doesn't , there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number.

Solution To Unhappy Employees Without Appraisals

Today's Apt Quote!

Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God.

But,fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility

- Indian Army

Updated statement for this in S/W INDUSTRY........




Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager.

But,fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility

- Tester

We all knew that..... but this one is for the finishing touch, damn good.

Forgiving or punishing the Manager is left to Client.

But,fixing their appointment with Client is our responsibility

- Developer :)

Looking into future News Headlines in 2020


* President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi receive Italian Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi.
* Fight in Parliament to grab the next seat beside newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat, Sherlyn Chopra and Rakhi Sawant.
* Mayawati all set to install her 10,000 statue in UP Assembly.
* Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi signed a 100 years deal to rotate power in Tamil Nadu every 2 years.
* Raj Thackrey and his supporters fighting for a separate state for Marathi manoos. All set to form 76th Indian state.


* Dhoom-17 ready for release.
* Mein to ab bhi jawan hoon - Dev Anand's new movie set for release where he plays son of Aamir Khan and Katrina Kaif.
* After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh's role in remake of 'Paa' .
* Amitabh's new movie with Shahrukh Khan's daughter 'Ek aur Nishabdh'.


* Lalit Modi to inagurate IPL Season-20 next week.
* Jayasuriya celebrated his 56th birthday with a century against Australia in a T20 match.
* Coach Ganguly resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st round after losing to South Korea.
* Navjot Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host the Guest too.


* Maruti launches its new Hovercraft 'SX-25'. Toyota to follow.
* Hyundai launches its new car i420.
* TRAI to add another 2 digits to mobile numbers. New numbers would soon have 20 digits.
* Intel launched its latest processor Intel Core10 Trio.


* Petrol Rs. 900 / ltr.
* Gold touched all time high 1,00,000 mark per 10 grams.
* Temperature set to touch 60°C mark in summer this year.
* Govt subsidized vegetables by 50%. Subsidized onion to cost Rs.200 per kg.
* Textile industry incurred loses of Rs.1,000 crores. Ministry blames bollywood actress.

Sardarji Jokes

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?

Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?

Just-one Singh.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.


Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes


A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

The woman rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.
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