Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Air-Hostess

A man was sitting in the bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 and noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him.

He thought to himself . "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an air hostess. I wonder which airline she works for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Airline slogan. "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself "Well, she obviously doesn't work for Delta."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. So he leaned towards her again and said, "Something special in the air ..?"

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself and scratched Singapore Airlines off his list.

He thought "Perhaps she works for Thai Airways..." and said, "Smooth as silk?"

This time the woman turned on him and said, "What the f*** do you want?"

The man smiled, slumped back in his chair and said "Ahhhhh, British Airways!"

Friday, April 17, 2009

An Interesting Customer Complaint:

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its customer-care executive. A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies, so every night, after we've eaten the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. "

It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start.

If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine.

I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds: "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"

The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinnertime, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.

The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And towards this end he began to take notes, he jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas used, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor. Now, the question for the engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Once time became the problem and not the vanilla ice-cream, the engineer quickly came up with the answer: "Vapor lock". It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still to hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.

Remember: Even crazy-looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution with a cool thinking.

Moral: Don't just say its "IMPOSSIBLE" without putting in sincere effort.

Doubt in Mahabharat

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat

katha to class 6 students.

He is at the 'Krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going

to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put Vasudev n Devki behind the

bars. First son is born, and Kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is

born n Kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born...."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. "Masterji, I have

a doubt" (sounding nervous n confused)

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in Mahabharata then

how come u have one?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him,

Masterji fainted.........................

Difference between Potentiality and Reality

Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between 'Potentially' and 'reality'?"
Dad: "I will show you".

Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Bill Gates for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity"!

Then Dad asks his
daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 Million dollars?
Daughter: "Wow! Yes! He is my fantasy!"

Then Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with, Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars! I would never hesitate!"

So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son, 'Potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'Reality'
we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Indian Hell

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