Thursday, September 23, 2010

Humanity does Exist

Two blind persons wanted to drink water at the RagiGudda temple, Bangalore . When they were unable to operate the tap, this mother monkey opened the tap for them, allowed them to drink water, drank some water herself and then closed the tap before leaving the scene.

Photo Courtesy:

Another Problem Caused By Deforestation

Monday, September 20, 2010

Down Memory lane - Middle class India of the 70's

1. Though you may not publicly own to this, at the age of 12-17 years, you were very proud of your first "Bellbottom" or your first first Apache jeans.

2. Phantom & Mandrake were your only true heroes. The brainy ones read "Competition Success Review".

3. Your "Camlin" geometry box & Natraj/Flora pencil was your prized possession.

4. The only "Holidays" you took were to go to your grandparents' or your cousins' houses.

5. Ice-cream meant only - either an orange stick, a vanilla stick – or a Choco Bar if you were better off than most.

6. You gave your neighbour’s phone number to others with a ‘c/o’ written against it because you had booked yours only 7 years ago and were still waiting for your number to come.

7. Your first family car (and the only one) was a Fiat or an Ambassador. This often had to be pushed by the entire family to get going.

8. The glass windows in the back seats used to get stuck at the two-thirds down level and used to irk the shit out of you! The window went down only if your puny arm could manage the tacky rotary handle to pull it down. Locking the door was easy. You just whacked the other tacky, non-rotary handle downwards.

9. Your mom had stitched the weirdest lace curtains for all the windows of the car. They were tied in the middle and if your dad was the comfort-oriented kinds, you had a magnificent small fan upfront.

10. Your parents were proud owners of HMT watches. You "earned" yours after SSC exams.

11. You have been to "Jumbo Circus"; have held your breath while the pretty young thing in the glittery skirt did acrobatics, quite enjoyed the elephants hitting football, the motorcyclist vrooming in the "Mautka Gola"
and it was politically okay to laugh your guts out at dwarfs hitting each others bottoms!

12. You have atleast once heard "Hawa Mahal" on the radio.

13. If you had a TV, it was normal to expect the neighborhood to gather around to watch the Chitrahaar or the Sunday movie. If you didn't have a TV, you just went to a house that did. It mattered little if you knew the owners or not.

14. Sometimes the owners of these TVs got very creative and got a bi or even a tri-coloured anti-glare screen which they attached with two side clips onto their Weston TVs. That confused the hell out of you!

15. Black & White TVs weren't so bad after all because cricket was played in whites.

16. You thought your Dad rocked because you got your own (the family's; not your own own!) colour TV when the Asian Games started. Everyone else got the same idea as well and ever since, no one came over to your house and you didn't go to anyone else's.

17. You dreaded the death of any political leader because of the mourning they would announce on the TV. After all how much "Shashtriya Sangeet" can a kid take? Salma Sultana also didn't smile during the mourning.

18. You knew that "Indira Gandhi" was somebody really powerful and terribly important. And that's all you needed to know.

19. The only "Gadgets" in the house were the TV, the Fridge and possibly a mixer.

20. All the gadgets had to be duly covered with a crochet covers and sometimes even with ingenious, custom-fit plastic covers.

21. Movies meant Rajesh Khanna or Amitabh Bachchan. Before the start of the movie you always had to watch the obligatory "Newsreel".

22. You thought you were so rocking because you knew almost all the songs of Abba and Boney M.

23. Your hormones went crazy when you heard "Disco Deewane" by Naziya Hassan & Zoheb Hassan.

24. School teachers, your parents and even your neighbours could whack you and it was all okay.

25. Photograph taking was a big thing. You were lucky if your family owned a camera. A reel of 36 exposures was valuable hence it justified the half hour preparation & "setting" & the "posing" for each picture.
Therefore, you have atleast one family picture where everyone is holding their breath and standing at attention!

Wine is Bottled POETRY.

I never take risk while drinking.
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Gandhiji is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Gandhijiis giving a smile
I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I to my wife : Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage
Wife : Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking
out for her .
I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I to Wife : But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the
sink .
Gandhiji laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash photo & keep it
in the black cupboard .
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I to Wife: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that again, I willcut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Gandhiji is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I to Wife : (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside .
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Becoz Gandhiji never takes a risk .

Chopra is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz I never take...... never take ..... never take what???
I never take a potato I think...

Khudos..! Drinkers..!

Wine is Bottled POETRY..

The 99 Club

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.

One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?"

The man replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."

"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.

The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... so many gold coins!

He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!" He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete
his collection.

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.

Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."

He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never content, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life."

We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires.

That's what joining The 99 Club is all about.

Financial Management

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First begger : Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.

I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-, and enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money. The Taj manager called the police man, and handed me over to him. I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

A wonderful example of financial management indeed

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Tip from IIM

A story told by an IIM professor regarding the side effects of non-systematic working :-

After completion of Lanka War Hanumanji was enjoying LTA with his friends. He got an email on his laptop from Accounts requesting him to clear his dues before 31st March - dues related to his tour for bring Sanjivani Booti for Laxmanji. He ignored the first mail. But after 3 - 4 reminders in two days time & receiving a call on CUG Mobile from Accounts Dept., he had to fly to Ayodhya canceling his leave.

He submitted - TA, DA Bill, Bills of Sushen Vaidya, Hospital Charges incurred for Bharatji when met with an accident during his travel, Cost of Sanjeevani Booti for Laxmanji, (Transport charges)

(1) Where is your tour sanction report ? Asked the HR & ADMIN Dept. Hanumanji got it done sting to concerned officials 2 or 3 times.

(2) Hanumanji claimed T.A. bill for air travel - but he as given only second class sleeper charges. And all other expenses on medical, Sanjeevani Booti, expenses on Sushen Vaidya were not reimbursed.

When he asked for the reasons, he was told that:

(a) As per his designation, he is entitled for IInd class sleeper only.

(b) He cannot get claim for other things as he does not have bills.

Hanumanji approached Shri Rama and explained him about the deduction on his tour expense report : Ramji ordered the related official to pay for Air travel & other charges as claimed by Hanumanji. The officer came with the rule book & told Shri Ramji "These rules were created by grand father of Dasharathji, If you want to overrule your forefathers I don't have any problem."

Ramji became speechless. So he thought for another way to compensate Hanuman. He called Hanumanji & gave him the claimed amount in cash, But how can Hanumanji take cash money from Ramji ?

Hanumanji said "How can I take money from you for treating Laxmanji? Laxmanji is equally reverend to me as you are." Later in his heart of hearts Hanumanji thought "Why he listened to accounts fellow, cut short his LTA, completed all the formalities & put Shriram in such an awkward position where he has to offer money to me!!!"

Hanumanji continued his work with the same attachment as he used to after this incidence also.

Hanumanji was a God, but for us, mortals, learnt a different lesson & that was

"NOT to do anything without proper sanctions FROM HR & IMMEDIATE BOSS : Whatever may be the urgency or importance of the job"

Thursday, September 02, 2010

One Line Proposals, even shorter Rejections

1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!

2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?

3. Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALL day long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!

4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!

6. What's that in your eye?'s a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?

7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would be enough)

8. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!

9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple mathematics otherwise!
Related Posts with Thumbnails