Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Beautiful Robbery!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a Tactic!!!!!!!!

The Indian Newspapers!

The Times of India is read by people who run the country.

The Statesman is read by the people who think they run the country.

The Hindu is read by the people who think they ought to run the country.

The Indian Express is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country.

The Telegraph is read by people who do not know who runs the country but are sure they are doing it wrong.

Mid-Day is read by the wives of the people who run the country.

The Economic Times is read by the people who own the country.

The Tribune is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run.

The Hindustan Times is read by the people who still think it is their country.

The Asian Age is read by the people who would rather be in another country.

Wht Is Hard Work????????

This Is the Real Meaning of Hard Work???
Do We Work Hard?
Think Again!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Phychology of clothing

In 1930 J. C. Fluegel wrote a work entitled “The Psychology of Clothes.” One of his major precepts stated that nonconformity in choice of clothing was an outward expression of nonconformity in the thought and political outlook of the individual.

So, what? Summer is here and a whole new mass of job seekers are entering the market. People are made and broken by their appearances. You have just about 20 seconds to make an impression. And, if you know this you can turn it to your advantage.

Make sure your clothes are ALWAYS neat and clean. Keep your shoes well maintained. There is a reason for the expression, “down at the heels.” Keep you hair neat and keep it trim. Ladies, if you choose to wear make-up, keep it subtle and understated. Keep you nails well manicured. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If you desire a management position dress as if you already have one.

If you wish to portray yourself as self-confident and well composed, you should dress in a moderate and traditional fashion. Competent people do not feel the need to display themselves with extravagance and flamboyant attire.

Leave the daring edge of fashion to those who are striking out on their own business ventures. If you wish to be perceived as competitive and aggressive, attire yourself in the sport fashion. Sport jackets and khaki slacks communicate a subliminal message of activity and aggression. Too aggressive can be seen as threatening.

Dress aggressively if you need to stake your territory with other staff members. If you wish to avoid being perceived as immature and conquerable, leave your jeans in the closet. This apparel sends the message that you would rather find a way to make do with comes rather than take a stand for what you want.

Save the jeans for the weekends. Wearing loud, flamboyant clothing screams “look at me!” and “I need you to reassure me.” The exception being the Hawaiian, or camp, shirt. This merely screams, “these four wall are too small to contain me!”

If you dress in a flamboyant fashion, don’t expect to have your ideas taken seriously. Military cut clothing communicates a desire for structure and conformity. This are good choices if you are a banker. Expect to be perceived as rigid and inflexible in this type of attire. Broad woven cottons and subdued earth colors communicate a desire for times gone by and can indicate you are trapped in the past. Remember, casual doesn’t mean sloppy. Sloppy doesn’t work in any business situation.

Dress like this and you can expect to be seen as “out of touch.” Remember, you are marketing a product–You!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Investment motto = earn - save - spend

Beginning of December 2006 a client of mine called to say that she would skip her December 06 and January 07 investments. She invests fixed amount every month over and above SIP.

As planners, we always insists on clients committing fixed amount, however in many cases if income is not very stable than we recommend smaller SIP commitment and additional purchase every month depending on cash flow.

She wanted to skip investments, as she wanted those funds to go for vacation. According to her, she and her husband had had very hard working year and hence it was "necessary" for them to unwind before New Year begins.

This is not new experience. In September this year another client wanted to redeem part of his funds from his retirement savings. Funds were needed to celebrate daughter's birthday party.

Since he was investing through SIP in diversified equity fund for his retirement - which is 12 years away - he thought it is all right to redeem funds temporarily and replenish later. Daughter was turning 18 and hence it was "necessary" to celebrate.

There has also been an instance where couple wanted to completely delay their savings, as it was necessary for them to buy a bigger car this year. Husband had got a new job and higher designation. All his juniors were using cars, which were bigger than his, and hence it was "necessary" that he upgraded his car.

Let's get this thing clear, if going on vacation, celebrating birthdays or eating out are necessities then so is saving and investing. I repeat - "Saving and investing are necessities"

Only small part of what we earn is ours. Major portion of our earnings will go away in taxes, routine household expenses, EMIs etc. Well known author Robert Kiyosaki in his famous book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad' writes about "paying yourself first." Form our income; we should set aside money first for ourselves by way of saving and investing. Once we have paid ourselves we can consider paying others i.e, spending.

Best principle to follow is Earn - Save - Spend. From our earning, we should set aside fixed amount towards savings and investing. Whatever is left after savings and investing, should be spent. Invariably we tweak the order.

We Earn - Spend - Save. From our earnings we spend first and than whatever little is left is saved. Going further in an era of credit-cards and consumer loans we will spend first and than earn. There will hardly be any scope left for savings as most of the time we would be trying to complete our EMIs.

If we haven't had the habit of saving all our life than we should begin with recurring deposit in a bank. Over a period of time move to mutual funds and start systematic investment plans. Based on our financial goals choose from variety of mutual fund.

For near term consider cash/money market funds. For short term choose debt funds and for a longer period of time - 7/9 years - choose equity based funds. Over a period of time we will also have Gold based funds. This will allow us to invest in gold without having to physically hold gold.

In the end remember, "It's not your salary that makes you rich, it's your spending and saving habits".

For more on mutual funds, log on to http://www.easymf.com/

Friday, June 08, 2007

Life Is a Journey!


For all you people who say "I love you" when you haveno clue what love is exactly!!! something to ponder upon..... Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and isyour voice caught within your chest??It isn't love, it's like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am Iright??It isn't love, it's lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off??It isn't love, it's luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there??It isn't love, it's loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants??It isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held yourhand??It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because youdon't want to hurt them??It isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes yourheart skip a beat??It isn't love, its infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care aboutthem??It isn't love, it's friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one youthink of??It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite thingsfor their sake??It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?? Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soulso deeply ithurts??Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mixof pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part ofwho they are??Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, yourdeath??Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do welove? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain,this agony? Why is it all we long for?

This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not havingit wish to experience it and share it with others as well.


A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day & said'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven & Hell are like.'

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors & the holy man looked in. In the middle ofthe room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was alarge pot of stew, which smelled delicious & made the holy man'smouthwater.

The people sitting around the table were thin & sickly. They appearedto be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped totheir arms & each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew&takea spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not getthe spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery & suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room & opened the door.

It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which madethe holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but herethe people were well nourished & plump, laughing & talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only ofthemselves.'

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you. If you are oneof the 7% who will stand up for Him, forward this with the title '7%'.

93% of people won't forward this.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Door Bell

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.

As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey , would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

" Oh come on!

There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way , it's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and

The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

How to Handle Nightmare Bosses

The Nightmare Boss
“Nightmare bosses” can take on many forms, but 6 major categories come to mind: the Demanding Boss, the Bully Boss, and the Disorganized Boss, the Clueless Boss, the Know-It-All Boss, and the Poor-Communicator Boss. I’m sure there are others and often several of these traits can be found in your boss. A bad boss can have advantages if you use the situation as an opportunity rather than as a problem.

A demanding boss may ask for more than you can deliver, but if you use the opportunity, then you can allow your boss to be the rough surface upon which you sharpen your skills. You don’t have to like your boss. Keep in mind that it is business, not personal, and always ask yourself “how can I use this situation to my advantage?”

The thing to remember is this, no matter how bad your boss is, in the end it doesn’t matter. What matters is what you do about it. This guide will describe the tactics you can employ to come out on top no matter what your boss is doing.

These tactics are to be used when there are current benefits that coincide with working for this bad boss. Maybe your bad boss has connections that you are hoping to leverage at some point or perhaps the branch office you work in gives you good exposure to higher level executives. I’m assuming that you can see potential growth with your company and that working for this current bad boss is merely a stepping stone along your path that just happens to be a little more tricky to deal with. However, if there is no future with this company or if the cons outweigh the pros of the situation, then please move directly to Step #9 “Unbearable Situations” where I explain the next steps to take.

What to Do When You Have a Bad Boss
In order to thrive under a bad boss you will need to come to work ready to play your best game everyday. Remember, this will serve your career, so don’t resent it, relish it!

1. Be Organized
Let your boss’s disorganization be an inspiration for you to be your most organized. This is the foundation on which to build your whole career. This will allow you to deliver on all the other steps that follow. Have a system for managing your time, tasks, and projects. The more organized you are, the more productive you will be and the faster you will reach your career goals.

2. Deliver Results in Writing
This is important for pretty much all boss types. If you’ve notified your boss in writing, particularly via email, you have an e-trail to prove you finished assigned tasks on time.

3. Write Your Own Quarterly Reviews
Make it easy for your boss to write a good quarterly review of you. Have one place where you file all your accomplishments for the quarter, such as an email folder or Word document. Nothing is too small to log. When it comes time for quarterly reviews you can then easily type up your self-assessment with a list of your accomplishments. Be proactive and use the format that your boss prefers. Your boss can then use that for writing your review.

4. Present Your Daily/Weekly Plan to Your Boss in Writing
This is helpful for bosses who demand more than you can physically deliver. When you plan your day and your week, send a quick listing of how you will be spending your time. Be sure to prioritize it according to what your boss thinks is most important. When your boss gives you more assignments than you can handle, you can go to your boss with your daily/weekly plan that you already sent to him/her and ask your boss which items they want you to let slide.

Always put that decision back on your boss (and confirm it in a quick email for that e-trail,) so that they can’t yell at you for letting something slide. If they say “put in more hours,” then you need to decide for yourself how many hours per week is acceptable. If you are continually asked to work beyond what is acceptable to you, then you may want to move onto Step #9 Unbearable Situations.

5. Make Your Boss Look Good
Resist the urge for sabotage because it rarely works and often backfires in your face. When you are working to make your boss look good, even bad bosses are going to notice this. When you make your boss look good, their boss will hopefully notice. But don’t wait for your boss to give you credit. Claim the credit, toot your horn. I saw too many good workers get buried under feelings of self-pity because they weren’t getting noticed. You must speak up and let your boss, your boss’s boss, and your peers know about your accomplishments.

YOU are in charge of getting yourself ahead in your career. Of course you should do this in a humble manner and give plenty of praise for your boss and anyone else who aided you. When your boss looks good, you look good, as long as you speak up. If your boss aggressively campaigns to make you look bad or steal 100% credit, and this is a pattern, then you may have an Unbearable Situation. If so, skip ahead to #9.

6. Don’t Argue
But Do Stand Your Ground If your boss attacks you, remain calm. Do not take the bait. This takes a zen-like state of mind, but it can be done. I know because I’ve had to do it. Control your emotions for the moment. Imagine that you have a forcefield around you which can not be penetrated by verbal attack. I know this may sound kooky, but it will help your mental strength.

How should you respond? Matter-of-factly. Answer the “charges” with the facts and your understanding of what was expected of you. Explain that you did not know of the new expectations, but that you now understand how your boss wants things done going forward. Remain confident, strong, non-aggressive, and business-like. Ask if there is anything else and then go back to work. At the next opportunity, take a break outside to phone a friend to let off steam. Try not to do that at work. The risk is too great that your boss will overhear.

If the attacks are beyond what you think are acceptable, such as derogatory name calling or simply your own decision that the potential rewards are not worth working with such a difficult person, then move onto Step #9.

7. Manage Your Boss
This is all about being proactive. Don’t wait for your boss to give you his or her expectations of you. Request a meeting to set these goals. If such meeting is continually postponed by your boss then put together your best estimate of what you think your goals should be. Put them in writing and ask for your boss to give his or her feedback.

Always be thinking two steps ahead of your boss. Try to anticipate what your boss will want in any given situation. If you’re sure then deliver it before your boss can even ask you. For things you’re not sure about, ask, and if you are right then go ahead and deliver on that. For example, your company just came out with a new promotion for clients. You know that your boss likes functions to launch promotions. Go ahead and ask your boss if he/she would like you to spearhead putting together a function.

Make things easy for your boss and hopefully they will make some things easy for you. If your boss does not help you in any way, then consider moving on to Step #9.

8. Ask For What
You Want Make sure you always know where it is you want to go with your career. Don’t expect to just be “promoted” for good work. Because the question is “promoted to where?” You must know first where you want to go next. Then you must communicate this to your boss. You must do it often, kind of like your own marketing campaign with your boss as your target audience. If possible you should find a way to let your boss’s boss know too, without being seen as “going over your boss’s head.”

You should put it in writing with a step by step plan of how your intend to get there, listing skills you plan to develop and how, and accomplishments you will seek to achieve and by when. Ask for feedback on your plan. And as always remember to summarize your meeting in a follow up email to your boss after the meeting. If your boss doesn’t reply, sent 1 additional polite reminder saying that you want to make sure that you are on the same page.

As you reach milestones along your path, document this with an email to your boss and file a copy in your “accomplishments” email folder. Promotions are not always completely within your boss’s sole control, so be somewhat understanding of this, but only to a degree. If you feel that you are not making progress on your larger career goals, then you may want to move on. See the next step.

9. Unbearable Situations
If you have exhausted all possible tactics and your boss is just too abusive, clueless or otherwise unacceptable and you feel it is hurting your career or slowing you down, you may want to consider moving on from this boss. How should you go about doing this? With the utmost professionalism. Never give in to the desire to tell off your boss because you have decided to leave. Your paths may cross again.

If you like the company, but can’t bear working for your current boss, you may want to do some research into a lateral move to a different manager. Depending on the situation you may need to use discretion when researching this at first or if you feel comfortable that your boss would be open to you moving on then be up front with them about it. Use whatever polite reason you want to state to your boss, and don’t be tempted into confiding in a new boss how bad your old boss was. Leave that for your friends and family. Always be professional at work and take the high ground. At work, stay focused on the future and moving forward.

If you don’t see a future with your current company, then you will want to embark on a job search. Obviously be discreet. And keep to the golden rule of job switching, “Don’t leave your current job until you have a new one lined up.” And you will want to have that in writing too. I’ve seen friends receive verbal offers of a job only to receive a callback saying “sorry we just had a hiring freeze implemented, we can’t take you on.” And when you do leave, make sure to do so on a positive note. Never burn any bridges, no matter how rickety they are.

Hopefully by the end of this post you may view your situation with your difficult boss from a whole new perspective. Perhaps you will see that there is a silver lining in having a “bad boss” as it forces you to up your career game, putting you ahead of the competition.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Why people wear wedding ring on their forth finger..........

Why people wear wedding ring on their forth finger..........

This is cute. Try it out.

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.....

Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold
them together - back to back
Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to
(As shown in the figure below)

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will
open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and
have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers
(representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers
and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own
separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing
your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get
married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers
(representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband &
Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

Please try this out.............


Communication Skills!

1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells herthat she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE SPECIFIC

3. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ? It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

4. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in yourlife. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

5. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE? Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

6. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free youfrom Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

7. Why Government does NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH a person TWICE for the same Mistake.

Gujarati Funeral .... Excellent one.

A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,

I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese,

10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.

Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided

among my nephews.

Please distribute all these fairly.

Love Smita.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Most Amazing Facts!

< Coca-Cola was originally green.

< The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

< The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

< The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

< There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

< TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

< Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

< You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

< It is impossible to lick your elbow.

< People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

< It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

< The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

< If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

< Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.Spades - King DavidClubs - Alexander the Great,Hearts - CharlemagneDiamonds - Julius Caesar.

< 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

< If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

< If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

< If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

< What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laserprinters all have in common?Ans. - All invented by women.

< Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?Ans. - Honey

< A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

< A snail can sleep for three years.

< All polar bears are left handed.

< American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

< Butterflies taste with their feet.

< Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

< In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

< On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

< Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

< Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

< The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

< The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

< The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

< Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

< Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

< The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

< Most lipstick contains fish scales.

< Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

< And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Kidnapping by a sardar...

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap akid and hold him for


He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took himbehind a tree,

and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag

and put it beneath the mango tree on the north sideof the city


Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt andsent him home to

show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sureenough a paper bag was

kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting nextto the bag. Sardarji

opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cashwith a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

Very Funny!

One morning at a doctors surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?"

The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell happened to you?"

He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now ..Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and ! was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?"

*"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

Sardar On Fire!

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."

The Sardar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The Sardar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the Sardar's wife. The Sardar's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Deep Mine (Santa Banta Joke)

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.

The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.

The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?

Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet."

The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you're no miner!"

On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.

The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?

Santa says, "Oh sure."

The boss asks how deep underground he worked.

Santa says, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. "

The boss says, "20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, "What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? "

Santa says, "Oh, I didn't need a light, I worked on the day shift
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