Friday, January 30, 2009

Boy Asks God!

Once a boy asked god, "is it wrong to sleep with a girl before marriage??? "
god Replied. " No, it is not, but the problem is that you guys don't sleep

Secret behind Rs. 30/-

When the boy was returning after his marriage...he found his wife holding a small packet;

the boy asked........whats there in that packet..

Wife replied.....darling this is the secret of my life...pls never open it or ask me about it further....otherwise our marriage will be in trouble.

The couple spent their days happily......but the boy was very keen to know what was there in that small packet..

After some days the boy again told......darling after marrying you , i got the woman of my dream...but tell me what that packet is.......it wll never affect our relationship.....as i love u more than my life....................but wife only told that i also love u more than my life....thats why telling u not to ask about that..

After some d ays wife went to her own house and forgot to take her packet.........then the boy couldn't control himself....and opened that packet...!!

He was shocked to open that........there was 30 rupees......and 2 wheat grains....in that packet......the boy couldn't understand what it was...and how it could affect their marriage life..

Then when his wife returned .....he burst into laughter.....and told...darling what is this......and how it could have affected our relationship........whatever may be......u have to tell me about the secret...

The wife replied..

That's not good...................any way.......if u have already finalised to know thesecret .....here it..

Before marriage ..each time i made love with any guy...i put a wheat grain in that packet to realise that i have done a mistake....... ......

The boy saw those two wheat grains....and after waiting for two minutes told................ Its ok......everybody makes mistake .......

I still love u because u told me the truth........ But what is that 30 rupees.................................... ....the boy fainted when the wife replied...
.
.
.
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Wife said......that's the price of 1 kg wheat i sold just before marriage!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN *ENGINEER *

As the dream of most parents, I had acquired a degree in Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity.

When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent One bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards.

Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days.

I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.



In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will
not get anymore holidays.

After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their Grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India . The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down.

I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA.

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA. I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a decent Two bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

**

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM. **

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.

This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children
are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them. ** But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer...... ......... .!!!!*

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Eating with chopsticks 'helps lose weight'

Want to shed the flab? Move over, pills and workouts. Try out an easy option. Just start eating with chopsticks it will help you lose
weight, according to a new diet book.

Losing weight has long been never been such a hot topic. And, the health complications of being overweight, include type 2 diabetes, many cancers and heart disease, many experts say.

But, according to Kimiko Barber, the author of 'In The Chopsticks Diet', "Eating with chopsticks slows you down, and so you eat less."

Moreover, when it comes to proper meals, eating with chopsticks also means taking smaller mouthfuls, which tend to get chewed better, slowing down the meal, and making it easier to digest, the book says.

It's not that it's impossible, with practice, to pick up huge gobbits of food with chopsticks, just that it's precarious and it just doesn't feel right, a newspaper reported.

Then there's the matter of sauce. Delicious though they are, most sauces are the enemy of the waistline, loaded with butter and oil. Chicken in creamy b├ęchamel isn't on many diet plans, but at least if tackled with chopsticks much of the evil artery-clogger will stay on the plate, it says.

Dining on a plateful of risotto with chopsticks feels like trying to relocate the Sahara with a pair of tweezers.

"So, a chopstick regime will make you slow down, think about your food more, and maybe even lose weight. None of which can be a bad thing. I shall not be binning the knife and fork just yet,"

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".

22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven
Zero Four)

16.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one:
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US
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