Saturday, April 28, 2007

Friday, April 27, 2007

Token of Appreciation!

You are friendly, kind and caring
Sensitive, loyal and understanding
Humorous, fun, secure and true
Always there... yes that's you.

Special, accepting, exciting and wise
Truthful and helpful, with honest eyes
Confiding, forgiving, cheerful and bright
Yes that's you... not one bit of spite.

You're one of a kind, different from others
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game
But not just another... in the long chain.

Appreciative, warm and precious like gold
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old
You'll always be there, I know that is true
I'll always be here... always for you.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

On Shore & Off Shore!

On Shore!
Off Shore!


Mirror Test(2 way mirror or not)

Have you seen recent advertisement of M/S SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES shown in TELEVISION'S - Then you must have known about 2 Way mirror)

How to determine if a mirror is 2 way or not (Not a Joke!)? Not to scare you, but to make sure that you aware. Many of the Hotels and Textile showrooms cheat the customers this way & watch privately.

HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR?When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they cansee you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type ofmirror we are looking at?

CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.

However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There is someone seeing you from theother side). So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do.

This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass.Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms. May be someone is making a film on you.

Ladies: Share this with your friends.Men: Share this with your sisters, wives, daughters, friends, colleagues, etc.

Things that Make You Feel Good

1. Falling in love.



2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.



3. A hot shower.



4. No lines at the supermarket.



5. A special glance.



6. Getting mail from a friend.



7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.



8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.



9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.



10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.



11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)



12. A bubble bath.



13. Giggling.



14. A good conversation.



15. The beach.



16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.



17. Laughing at yourself.



18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.



19. Running through sprinklers.



20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.



21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.



22. Laughing at an inside joke.



23. Friends.



24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.



25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep before you have to get up.



26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).



27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.



28. Playing with a new puppy.



29. Having someone play with your hair.



30. Sweet dreams.



31. Hot chocolate.



32. Road trips with friends.



33. Swinging on swings.



34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.



35. Making chocolate chip cookies.



36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.



37. Holding hands with someone you care about.



38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.



39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.



40. Watching the sunrise.



41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.



42. Knowing that somebody misses you.

43. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

What month were you born in??... It says a whole lot about you!!...

JANUARY=PIMP
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them.

FEBRUARY=THUG
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Love s entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH=GORGEOUS
Drop dead gorgeous!!! Attractive personality. Very! sexy. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbrea ker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of NE of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.likes to keep theyre crushes kinda secret.pretty much flawless.

APRIL=SEXY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up an d/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Inner and physical beauty. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

MAY=LOVER
Hella sexy, loves sex n making luv, tends to be SOOOOO hott!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and cari ng. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

JUNE = LUST
Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takesrep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

JULY=GANGSTAR
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with a JUNE brithday. It is also more likely than that you have a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

AUGUST=ATTITUDE
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitud e. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

SEPTEMBER=FINEASS PIMP
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fullfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

OCTOBER=HOTTIE
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easi ly and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

NOVEMBER=SWEETIE

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good phy sical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

DECEMBER=BEAUTY

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to kno w. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

It Happens only in India


Monday, April 23, 2007

15 Ways Stores Trick You Into Spending (and 10 ways to fight back)

Ever notice how you can go to a store to pick up just one thing and then, by the time you get to the check stand, you have five or six things in your cart and a bigger bill than you had anticipated? This happens over and over because department stores use an array of techniques (grocery stores use many of the same tactics) to get you to pick up these items. By itself, each technique isn't very strong -- it's the use of them in combination that is powerful. Here's a list of 15 of the best tricks. After the list, watch for 10 ways to combat these techniques so you can get in and out of stores with your finances intact.

1. Shopping carts. Most store customers enter the store intending to buy only an item or two, but the shopping carts are right there by the entrance and, oh, wouldn't it be convenient to have it so I can lean on it a bit while walking around and to put my stuff in it? The cart has a huge bin compared with the size of most items for sale in the store, making it psychologically easy to toss in an item you don't need -- after all, there's room for plenty more, right?

2. Desirable departments are far away from the entrance. Most of the items I go to a department store to buy, such as light bulbs and laundry detergent, are located many, many aisles from the entrance. This means I spend my time walking by a lot of consumer goods on my way to find the item I want. Because these consumer goods are effectively marketed to me, there's a good likelihood that I'll spy something that I don't necessarily need and toss it in the cart.

3. The toy section is far, far, far away from the entrance. Naturally, if I take my son to the store, he wants to visit the toy section. He gets excited and starts shouting "Ball! Ball!" to me when we go in because he remembers the enormous plastic balls in the toy section. I tell him that if he's good, we'll go look at the balls, and at the end of the trip, we usually make our way over there. What do we see? Lots of children in that area, which means that there are parents that follow their children.

4. Impulse-oriented items are near the checkouts. Stores stock the latest DVD releases and "froth" magazines there, along with overpriced beverages and candy. Why? Because people leaving the store are thirsty, and they're going to be standing in line for a bit, which is the perfect place to hook them with some entertainment options.

5. The most expensive versions of a product are the ones at eye level. Take a look sometime at the arrangement of different choices for a particular product, such as laundry detergent. Almost every time, the most expensive options per unit are placed at eye level, so you see them first when you enter an aisle. The bulk options and better deals are usually on the bottom shelves.

6. Items that aren't on sale are sometimes placed as though they are on sale, without using the word "sale." I noticed this over and over with diapers; the department store would display a rack of them with a huge sign above them displaying the price, but it would be the same price I paid for them a week ago. Unsurprisingly, the diapers displayed like that were always the most expensive kind.

7. Commodity items, such as socks, are surrounded by noncommodity items, such as shirts and jeans. If I'm looking to buy some socks, I have to traverse through a number of racks full of different types of clothing in the clothing section just to reach them. Why? If my mind is already open to the idea of buying clothes, I would be more likely to look at other clothing items.

8. Slickly packaged items alternate with less slickly packaged items. Look carefully at an aisle of, say, potato chips. The ones with the bright and slick packaging are generally more expensive, which isn't surprising. But notice that there usually isn't a section of just inexpensive chips -- in most stores, they're sandwiched between more-expensive items. If there is a section of just inexpensive items, they're down by your feet (think about the inexpensive bagged cereals at your local supermarket).

9. Stop, stop, stop. You add items to your cart only if you stop, right? So stores are designed to maximize the number of stops you have to make: aisles in which only two carts can fit, colorful and attractive layouts, escalators and, my favorite of all, sample vendors. Even if it's not conscious to you, every time you stop moving in a store, you increase your chances of putting something into your cart.

10. Staple items are placed in the middle of aisles, nonessential and overpriced items near the end. Why? If you enter an aisle to get a "staple" item (i.e., a high-traffic item), you have to go by the other items twice -- once on the way in and once on the way out. That gives these items two chances to make their pitch at you.

11. Prices are chosen to make comparison math difficult. Instead of selling the 100-ounce detergent for $6 and the 200-ounce detergent for $11 (making it easier to figure out the better deal), they sell the 100-ounce for $5.99 and the 200-ounce for $10.89. Hey, look, they're basically the same, right, because five is half of 10? Uh, no.

12. Stuff in bins isn't always a bargain. Higher-end stores will sometimes put items in "bins" to emulate the bargains found at cheaper stores, but the prices are still quite high. They just use the visual cue of a "bargain store" to make you think it is a bargain.

13. High-markup items are made to look prestigious. If you see something in a glass case that has lots of space around it, your gut reaction is to believe that it is valuable and prestigious to own, and for many people it can be as attractive as a light to a moth. The truth is that these items typically have tremendous markup -- you're literally just buying an idea, not a product.

14. The most profitable department is usually the first one you run into. Ever noticed that at Younkers, JC Penney, Kohl's and such stores, the cosmetic department is front and center? That's because it's very profitable, and by putting it in a place where people walk by time and time again, customers are more prone to making a purchase on an item with a very big markup.

15. Restrooms and customer services are usually right by the exit or as far from the exit as possible. Why? If you need to use either one in the middle of a shopping journey, you have to walk by a lot of merchandise to reach the needed service, thus increasing your chances for an impulse buy.

How can I fight back? Is there any wonder why people end up buying more than they need or buying sizes that are poor deals? With an array of techniques at their disposal, retailers can make a mint. Had enough? Here are 10 things you can do to fight back against these techniques:

1. Don't use a shopping cart unless you need it. A cart, most of the time, is just a place to put stuff you don't need. If you're carrying a product, you're a lot more likely to consider whether it's a worthwhile purchase.

2. Make a shopping list and stick to it. A list makes you focus on the items you intended to buy. Without it, you are much more prone to wandering and stumbling into "great buys" that you don't really need.

3. Look at nothing but the prices and sizes. That's all the information you really need -- everything else is marketing. Find the one that has the best price for its size, get that one, and move on.

4. Start at the back and work toward the front. If this is an option at all for you based on the store layout, do it. When you go in, head directly for the most distant item, then progress back toward the checkout aisles. If you do it the other way, you're prone to walk more slowly and tiredly toward the front after your shopping is done, leaving you open to lots of impulse buys on the way.

5. Always look at the bottom shelf first. If you've found the section you want, start looking at the bottom shelf first. This is usually where the better per-unit deals are.

6. Don't stop unless you're actively selecting an item. Displays are designed to beg you to stop for a moment and just look, which is often enough to get you to pick out the item. Even if something looks interesting, keep walking. You can study it as you go past and make up your mind later about the item.

7. Never go by an item twice unless absolutely necessary. If you go down an aisle, start at one end and continue all the way out the other. Walking by an item once lets it sink into your short-term memory, giving just a hint of familiarity when you walk by it again, sometimes just enough to persuade you to buy it.

8. Carry a pocket calculator -- or know how to use the one on your cell phone. Do the math yourself to find out what the best buy is because stores try to choose numbers that make drawing false conclusions quite easy.

9. If you don't know for sure that it is a good deal, don't buy because you think it is a good deal. Stores use all kinds of visual cues to make you think something is a bargain when it's not (like the bin trick mentioned above). Don't buy anything because it's a "deal" unless you're sure that it really is an excellent bargain -- just walk away.

10. At the checkout, rethink everything you put in your cart -- and don't hesitate to hand an item to the cashier and say you've changed your mind. Many people seem to have a guilt, or obligation, to buy an item that they've put into their cart. Don't. You're the customer -- you have the right to choose whether to buy. If you find something you don't want to buy, tell the cashier and don't buy it.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17 ."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

Friday, April 20, 2007

Flower In The Desert

This happened many many summers ago.

There was a young flower in the desert where all was dry and sad looking...It was growing by itself...enjoying every day...and saying to the sun "When shall I be grown up"? And the sun would say "Be patient"---Each time I touch you,you grow a little"...And she was so pleased.Because she would have a chance to bring beauty to this corner of sand...And this is all she wanted to do---bring a little bit of beauty to this world.

One day the hunter came by---and stepped on her.---She was going to die---and she felt so sad.Not because she was dying ---but because she would not have a chance to bring a little bit of beauty to this corner of the desert.

The great spirit saw her, and was listening.---Indeed,he said ...She should be living...And he reached down and touched her---and gave her life.

And she grew up to be a beautiful flower...and this corner of the desert became so beautiful because of her.

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING -By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, 'Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut way all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.'

"I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them. 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
You have 2 choices now:

1. save or delete this mail from your mail box.
2. forward it to anyone you care about.

* Hope you will choose choice 2.
Copyright Permission is given as long as this remains unchanged

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Never Change in Life Time!


Found Popeye's Mom! Here She is!

We finally found Popeye's Mom after a very long time!
Here she is Popeye's Mom!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Never marry a software engineer:


Husband :-(while entering home)hi dear,i have logged in.
Wife:- have you brought the saree?
Husband :- bad command or file name.
Wife:- but i told you about it in the morning.
Husband :- erroneous syntax. Abort-retry-ignore.
Wife:- hae bhagwan!!Forget it.Where`s your salary?
Husband :- file in use,read only,try aftersome time.
Wife:- atleast give me your credit card,i can do some shopping.
Husband :- sharing violation.Access denied.
Wife:- i made a mistake in marring you.
Husband :- data type mismatch.
Wife:- who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband :- system unstable.Press any key
wife :- would you like to have some snacks?
Husband :- - hard disk full.
Wife:- what is my value in your life?
Husband :- unknown virus detected.
Wife:- do you love me or your computer?
Husband :- too many parameters.
Wife :- i will go to my dad`s house
husband :- this program has performed an illigal operation and will be shut Down.
Wife:- i will leave you forever.
Husband :- close all programs and log out for another user.
Wife:- it is worthless talking to you.
Husband :- -shut down the computer.
Wife:- i am going. Husband :- its now safe to turn off your computer.

Why to fly by Kingfisher Airline...

1. It's not expensive.

2 . Tickets are easily available.

3 . Good Service.

4 . And..............





The Most Beautiful Gals/Air hostess in Any Airlines in India!

Some Funny Jokes!

Teacher: "What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------------
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------------- Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------------- Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------------- Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
------------ --------- --------- -------
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
------------ --------- --------- -------
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age? STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

DOT COM Revolution!


Husband on Sale!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Dubai , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak She is so tempted to stay,

but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Indian Fashion Glossary

Ambi A mango-shaped motif - the paisley pattern (lit. 'rich') Amli Needle work embroidery native to Kashmir

Angarkha A long-sleeved, full-skirted tunic for men, generally open at the chest and tied in front with an inner flap

Ari Awl-like hooked needle, often used for chain stitch embroidery

Badam A textile term for oval-shaped motifs

Badla Flattened gold or silver wire

Badla Mukaish Knots of badla sewn onto cloth

Baluchar A type of brocaded silk sari

Bandgala Achkan and shervani (lit. 'closed neck')

Bandhini The mode of tie-dyeing fabrics to form patterns (also known as bandhej)

Bandi A short jacket or waistcoat

Batik A paste or wax resist dyeing technique

Bel A stylized creeper pattern

Buti A smaller version of a buta the term is used also to denote stylized animal motifs printed in block repeats

Calico A term used by early European traders

Cheent Spotted

Chikankari White embroidery, predominantly floral patterns, executed on fine white cotton with untwisted threads of white cotton or silk

Chiru Himalayan antelope

Choli A woman's blouse or bodice usually tight-fitting

Chunari A tie-dyed dotted pattern, a veil

Chunnat Pleated or crimped gota ribbon

Churidar paijama Style of tight-fitting paijama, rouched from the knee to the ankles (lit. the paijama with bangles)

Dhoti An unstitched garment used to drape the lower body, very much in use today

Dori A cord

Dupatta An unstitched length of material for the upper body traditionally worn by both sexes, but now mainly worn by women as part of a salwar kameez (paijama and tunic) ensemble

Farshi A wide legged trailing paijama

Ganga Jamuna The juxtaposition of silver and gold in a woven pattern, named after the confluence of dark and light waters of the two sacred rivers

Ghaghra A gathered skirt usually very flared

Ghera Circumference, fullness of a garment

Gheru Saffron, ochre

Ghundi A button made of silk or cotton, sometimes covered with gold or silver wire, held together with a loop

Gota A metallic ribbon in which badla forms the weft and silk or cotton the wrap

Gota Moti A beaded cord covered with gota, often used for finishing ghaghra and jama hems

Gota Patti Small leaf shapes made of gota

Gote The bottom part of a farshi paijama which is made up of three sections, often richly embellished

Holi A lively and colourful festival celebrated on the last day of the month of Phalgun to welcome the onset of spring

Ikkat The name of the pattern created by the tie-dyeing the weft and wrap threads before weaving which is a specially of Gujarat Orissa and Andhra Pradesh

Izarband The decorative drawstring at the waist of a lower garment, usually a ghaghra or a paijama with ornamented tasselled ends

Jaal An all over pattern in a printed or embroidered fabric

Jala A small wooden frame used by master craftsmen, on which threads are tied to form a grid of the wrap and weft outling the design of the weave

Jamakhana The storehouse for garments in the Mughal and other royal courts

Jamavar The trade name for the woven or embroidered Kashmir shawls

Jamdaani A weaving technique traditional to the town of Tanda, Jais and Dacca used to produce figured muslins

Jhoomar A jewelled hair ornament worn on the side of the head

Jhumka A bell-shaped piece of jewellery

Jutis Slip on shoes, usually elaborated embroidery and with unturned toes

Kalamkari Painted cloth (as a trade term it referred to both painted and printed cloths)

Kali A gored panel

Kalioyndar Paijama A wide bottomed paijama made up of several panels

Kameez A tunic

Kanchala - Kundal A type of earing

Kanchli A sleeveless bodice worn in Western India

Kanni A complex weaving technique originating in Kashmir (known in the West as the double twill-tapestry technique)

Khadi Fabric made of handspun yarns, symbol of India's fight for Independent

Kurta A loose, stitched garment worn by men and women, most commonly described as a tunic (also known as a kameez)

Kurti A short kurta usually worn by women a type of grass fiber)

Lahariya A pattern in which diagonal wavy stripes are formed by the fold-resist dyeing technique of the same name

Lehnga A skirt

Libaas An ensemble or dress

Mashru A medium weight wrap faced satin or twill fabric with silk wrap and cotton weft

Minakari Coloured enamel jewellery, borders or butis woven with different coloured silk to give the appearance of enamel

Mothra A criss-cross pattern obtained through fold-resist dyeing in woven fabrics the term

Moti A bead or pearl

Mulmul Cotton, usually in reference to Indian muslin, particularly the muslin woven in Bengal

Odhini A veil, usually 3m x 1m, worn by women with a ghaghra, kurti and kanchli, it covers the head and the right shoulder, is drawn across the body and either tucked into the waistband or left hanging in front

Pagri The common term for a turban

Paijama Drawstring trousers worn by men and women with many different styles

Paithani Cotton and silk sari produced in Paithan

Pallav The decorative border at one or both ends of a length of fabric usually of a sari, odhani or patka

Pashmina The wool made from the fleece of the underbelly of the rare Tibetan wild mountain goat

Patti A border or edging

Peshwaz A long high-waisted gown

Phulkari Folk embroidery typical of the Punjab

Poncha The ankle opening of a paijama, usually the salwar, which is often quilted or ornamented with decorative stitching

Purdah The practice of sequestering women, the flap of fabric in the angarkha that covers the chest, the pieces of fabric used to make up the cups of a choli

Sari An unstitched length of fabric up to 9 yds in length and 18 to 60 in width with a decorated end panel draped in a wide variety of styles

Shatoosh The fleece of the tibetan chiru antelope that is spun and woven into fine shawls

Shal A shawl

Salwar Paijama A baggy style of paijama tapered at the ankle worn mainly in the Punjab, Afghanistan and African garment

Shervani A formal knee-length coat fitted to the waist

Sinjaf The facing inside the hem of a garment

Sitara Tiny metal discs, often of gold or silver with a tiny hole at the centre

Tanchoi Figured silk with multiple supplementary weft threads, that create a heavy densly patterned fabric

Teej A festival celebrating conjugal love, held in Northern and western India in The month of Shravan

Tikka A forehead ornament also used to refer to a bindi

Tikki Metal discs used in zardozi embroidery

Topi A cap

Tussar A type of wild silk made in Eastern and Central India from hand spun yarns

Tikki / Tikki Embroidery Metal discs used in zardozi embroidery

Vastra Clothes

Zardozi Gold thread embroidery using metallic elements and threads, sometimes mirrors, precious or semi precious stones

Zari metal wrapped yarn used for zardozi embroidery

Why wedding ring should put on the fourth finger ?

Thumb represents parents
Second finger represents brothers & sisters
Center finger represents own self
Fourth finger represents your partner
Last finger represents your children Really interesting
Why wedding ring should put on the fourth finger??
Pls follow the below step, really god made this a miracle.
Firstly, show your palm, center finger bend and put together back to back Secondly, the rest 4 fingers tips to tips
Games begin, follow the below arrangement, 5 finger but only 1 pair can split.
Try to open your thumb, the thumb represents parents, it can be open because all human does go thru sick and dead. Which are our parents will leave us one day
Please close up your thumb, then open your second finger, the finger represent brothers and sisters, they do have their own family which is too they will leave us too
Now close up your second finger, open up your little finger, this represent your children.
Sooner or later they too will leave us for they got their own living to live
Nevertheless, close up your little finger, try to open your fourth finger which we put our wedding ring; you will be surprise to find that it cannot be open at all.
Because it represent husband and wife, this whole life you will be attached to each other
Real love will stick together ever and forever....

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Stress Reliever!

Stress Reliever # 1
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problems can there be greater than this one?"

Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: " What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: " Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: " What ? At 2 am ? "
Husband to wife: " Yes, We used night clubs."

Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: " Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever # 7
"How was your blind date ? " a college student asked her roommate." Terrible ! " the roommate answered.
" He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that? "
" He was the original owner."

Tech Support#2

WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH...... FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK : ( and youwould find out the same ..!!!! )

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and Iwrote'click'."

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can you see the 'OK' Button
displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____# ###

7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support :

Friday, April 13, 2007

Different ways to sleep & kiss!



Facts you never knew about SRK

I will tell you facts about Shahrukh that everyone might not know. Here is a sneak peak into Shahrukh's life.
2nd November 1965. In New Delhi's Talwar Nursing Home, to parents Mir Taj Muhammad and Lateef Fatima, was born a young boy. For the family, that lived in Rajinder Nagar, a middle class locality in the national capital, it was time to rejoice and celebrate the newly born.

When he was just four years of age, Shah Rukh happened to throw a rock at a neighborhood boy because of which the latter's teeth broke. Late at night that day, the child's father came to the house in an inebriated state while wielding a knife. Shah Rukh's father coolly opened the door and when this man threatened to kill his son for what he had done, he crosschecked with Shah Rukh as to whether or not he had committed the act of mischief. When the child confessed, the dad asked him to go out and explain himself to the man who was not only drunk but also armed. Shah Rukh had to go outside and apologize for his deed.


Shah Rukh had won the Raman Subramanyam Award in Class X (1982-83) for character, all round performance in studies, sports and extra curricular activities and the Sword of Honour in Class XII (1984-85) for the Best all round performance, loyalty, obedience, integrity and sportsmanship.

The college where he studied was Delhi University's Hans Raj College, and Shah Rukh did his Economics Honours from the institution between 1985-88. When Hans Raj celebrated its Golden Jubilee, the college gave away 17 shields to its alumni who had excelled in their lives and professions and Shah Rukh was one of them.

After graduating from Hans Raj, he went on to join Jamia Milia Islamia's Mass Communications Research Centre to do his masters in filmmaking and journalism.

Shah Rukh had a solid theatre background and had worked with an institution like Barry John in New Delhi.

Shah Rukh was, in fact uncomfortably possessive about his lady love (Gauri), whom he lovingly calls Gaurima. So much so that he would pick up a quarrel with her even if she let her hair down…literally. Finally, Gauri lost her cool and without informing Shah Rukh, came down to Bombay. Shah Rukh followed her to the huge city and kept looking for her around the beaches because of his awareness that she was attracted to them in a big way. Later, a cab guy advised him to go to Aksa Beach and Gorai Beach. After searching frantically, he managed to track her down when she was standing in the water! Isn't that filmi?

One of the reasons why Shah Rukh bought Mannat, his palatial bungalow, was since he wanted to have an exclusive prayer room. Shah Rukh says that if he were broke, he will sell everything except Mannat


Both the children, Aryan (13th November 1997) and Suhana (23rd May 2000) have been taught to revere the co-existence of Ganpati and Allah in the Khan household. How wonderfully they are being brought up manifests itself in the story that when Shah Rukh was having a critical neck surgery, Aryan went to the temple and said an Islamic prayer so that his father could get well soon.

Shahrukh Khan is a Muslim but celebrates Diwali and Christmas along with Eid every year. He keeps a Lakshmi Pooja every year in his office and at home. He even has a Christmas tree at home. From all the festivals Shahrukh's kids love Christmas the most.

Shahrukh Khan has the holy Quran Bismillah kept along with the idols of Indian Gods at his place. His kids pray to both the God's simultaneously.

Shahrukh Khan can be managed best only by his wife as she understands him the most. She is the only person who can command Shahrukh to do things. Infact Shahrukhs's daughter Suhana imitates Gauri Khan very well by saying in a strict voice, "Shahrukh, eat your food."

Shahrukh never asks anything for himself from God. It is always his family and his close people he asks for. But whenever he wants to ask for himself, he never goes to a temple but goes to his parent's grave. He believes that whatever he will ask there will be fulfilled and yes most of them have come true which makes Shahrukh's belief all the more strong.

Shahrukh requires a lot of his own space for himself and his near and dear ones understand that. Whenever Shahrukh is angry, he needs to be left alone or you will only make him angrier.
Shahrukh loves watching movies in the darkness of his car. He loves watching movies alone and peacefully.

Shahrukh is a complete game freak. In fact he turns everyone around him into a gaming freak. The latest game that Shahrukh is playing is Smackdown versus Raw which is a wrestling game. Shahrukh can't wait to get his hands on the new Play Station 3 as he is not an XBOX fan.
Shahrukh studied at St. Columbus School and he believes that it is the best school in the whole world not because he studied in it, but because he feels they are very disciplined.

Shahrukh still remembers his first fan who is a lady. She was his fan even before he became a film star or a famous televison star. She remembers him since his theater days. She shouted Shahrukh's name on the middle of the road when she spotted him. Shahrukh still cannot forget that moment.

For Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Shah Rukh had taken a signing amount of Rs 5,000 and did the entire film for Rs. 25,000.

Shah Rukh had signed a movie called Jadoo co-starring Raveena Tandon, Anupam Kher & Navneet Nishan to be directed by Pavan Kaul. But Shah Rukh refused to kiss Navneet who was playing a vampish role. Shah Rukh had promised himself that he would never kiss any actress on-screen. And, he has stuck to this till today.

Calcutta has a unique Shah Rukh Khan club that was founded by a Khan admirer Arnab Roy on 13th December 1995 after the release of DDLJ. The club established its own SRK museum in January 2002 and its members were thrilled when Shah Rukh himself visited them on 7th August 20.

SRK says...


On Marriage

It's nice to be married. You know you come back home from twenty thousand people who are screaming and shouting for you and than you come back to your wife… I think is a great leveler.

On Gauri

I was eighteen and she was fourteen when we met. What I liked about her was that I didn't find it as difficult as I thought talking to a girl.


On Parents

My Father was very sweet, soft spoken man. He was the youngest freedom fighter for India actually. My mother was the opposite. She was outgoing and had a very attractive personality. She said I was like Dilip Kumar.


At Home

There are some unsaid rules. I will not make a phone call once I'm in the house. So you'll always see me making a phone call from the bathroom….. I close the door and then talk


On Mumbai

I think it's the greatest city in the world. It's very important to my life and to me. I'll always be thankful that Mumbai has given me a family, and actually Mumbai has given me a life.

On Acting

For me, acting is very spiritual. It combines as sorts of soulful, religious and spiritual things that people do.


On time off

I don't get excited going out but all my friends make fun that I keep saying that but I shop the most. I keep buying gadgets and stuff and I call them my "utterly useless shopping".

On fans photographing

The only time I find people invasive is when I am eating. When I'm eating I don't like people looking at me.


On time

I think time passes by very, very fast. I don't ever have time to grow old. It's so fast. I have this feeling that I am running a few days late in life.

Public persona

There has to be now a public face very clearly. And that public face is always smiling. And I'm tired. And I'm sometimes in a bad mood. But I cannot pass that onto people.












Wonderful Sentence!

The person who invented this sentence is either a Vocabulary GENIUS or is absolutely JOBLESS.
Why?

You'll soon find out!!!

Read the sentence below carefully...

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness".

This is a sentence where the Nth word is N letters long.

e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on

Miscommunication!


How to write a resignation letter?

Short but not formal....
A bit formal.....

Formal One......

Or the best of all


DEAF BOOKKEEPER

Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten
million bucks.

This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why
he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper
would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10
million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you
embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million
dollar is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't
tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzio's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger.

Don't ya just love lawyers?

Wht is Half Horse Power! HP




See & Enjoy!



















































Difference between Love & Like!


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Bad Breath: Five Causes and Five Cures

Wondering why your loved ones are giving you more personal space than you’ve asked for? Suspicious about the Altoids left on your desk with dental floss bows? If you’re one of 90 million Americans suffering from chronic bad breath, here are some of the possible causes, as well as remedies to restore your fresh breath—and relationships.

Top Five Causes of Bad Breath

1. A dirty mouth. “Ninety percent of mouth odors come from mouth itself—either from the food you eat or bacteria that’s already there,” says Dr. Richard H. Price spokesman for American Dental Association. “Mouth odor is like any other body odor—the result of microbes living in the body giving off byproducts.” In the mouth, this means bacteria that normally live in the mouth interact with food particles, blood, tissue, etc., to create volatile (i.e., stinky) sulfur compounds. If you don’t clean properly, the bacteria build up, and next thing you know—that’s not toothpaste on your tongue.
2. A mouth out of balance. Certain mouth conditions can exacerbate bacterial growth and odor, such as gum disease and dry mouth. Gum disease causes bloody gums, creating more elements for those pesky bacteria to putrefy. But it is a dry mouth that is the more common cause of bad breath. Saliva helps flush out the mouth, keeping bacteria moving so they don’t settle down and multiply, while drier mouth is a breeding ground for bacteria. In spring and summer, allergy medications can dry you out; in winter, dry heat tends to be the culprit.
3. Stinky foods. If it stinks going in, chances are it’s going to stink coming out. The obvious offenders are onions, garlic, alcohol and tobacco. And foods don’t only create a stench in the mouth. “Plant oils are absorbed and the byproducts enter your bloodstream so you are actually breathing the odors out via your lungs three to four hours later,” says Jeannie Moloo, a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. [Full disclosure: Moloo is the author’s cousin.]
4. Not enough carbs. You look great after four weeks on Atkins, so how come you still can’t get a date? High-protein, low-carb diets cause your body to burn stored fats for fuel instead of carbs and can lead to a condition called ketosis. “As fat burns, ketones build up in the body, and some are released through breath,”explains Moloo. “Unfortunately ketones don’t smell particularly good.” And bad breath trumps six-pack abs.
5. Illness. Occasionally, bad breath can be a sign of a more serious illness. The most common systemic causes of bad breath are diabetes or GERD (or gastro esophageal reflux disease). Diabetes can also cause ketosis, and the resulting bad breath is sometimes one of first symptoms that lead to diagnosis. GERD is a backflow of acid from the stomach to the esophagus. Less common but possible are liver or kidney disease—when toxins from these organs are excreted through the lungs, causing bad breath.

Top Five Cures

1. Keep it clean. Gum, breath mints, mouthwash … these are all helpful stopgaps, but they won’t cure bad breath. The way to get rid of bad breath for most of us is to brush, floss and tongue scrape twice a day. Yes, for fresh breath, the key is tongue scraping. “You can brush and floss till the cows come home, but it won’t help unless you get way back,” says Price of the American Dental Association. A tongue scraper is available at most drugstores. Price swears it helped him when he was suffering from bad breath (not something you want in your dentist, he points out). “Now I smell like a petunia,” he says. “For most of us, brushing, flossing and tongue scraping twice a day will control bad breath.”
2. Keep it moist. The best way to keep the right saliva balance is to drink plenty of water or liquids. To prevent dry mouth in winter, use a humidifier. If you snore or suffer from postnasal drip, try saline nasal spray to keep nasal passages moist.
3. Watch what you eat. Avoiding the main offenders (onion, garlic, tobacco, coffee, etc.) is the best way to avoid food-related bad breath. Dietitian Moloo also cites research that suggests certain foods can help: “Two cups of tea a day can prevent bad breath for some. The polyphenols, a plant chemical in tea, may prevent growth of bacteria responsible for bad breath.” You can also chew parsley, which seems to curb offending smells from other foods and bacteria. And cranberries may eliminate offensive smells and make the bacteria less sticky, which makes plaque less likely to form. Price says sugarless gums that contain xylotol may kill some bacteria and help reduce plaque.
4. Eat some carbs. Apparently the only way to help the ketosis caused by low-carb diets is … to eat some carbs. Moloo recommends fruits, vegetables and whole grains over frosted doughnuts.
5. See your doctor. If tongue scraping and carbo-loading doesn’t do the trick, check with your doctor to see if he or she suspects a more serious cause. Diabetes, GERD or other diseases require specific diagnoses and treatments.

Good Taste: Top 5 Foods to Prevent Bad Breath


So you’re at a lunch meeting with a potential employer and the lunch is going to turn into an interview. If you don’t have an opportunity to run to the restroom to brush your teeth after the meal, the following are five tips to help you choose a meal selection that will keep your breath fresh.
Bad breath results from two key issues: oral hygiene and gastrointestinal health. Basically this means that breath odors originate not just inside the mouth but also from your digestive tract. The culprit in both cases is largely bacteria. Doctors will tell you that if you have bad breath, you should first make sure you are eating right (getting a balanced diet of protein, carbs, lots of fruits and veggies and plenty of fluids to keep the GI tract healthy) and brushing and flossing after every meal. But that still doesn’t mean you might not be offending your friends and co-workers after lunch.
Here are some things you can ingest (or chew) that can help.

1. Chew on this. Move over parsley, there are some new halitosis-fighting herbs in town. “Coriander, spearmint, tarragon, eucalyptus, rosemary and cardamom are all good for fighting bad breath,” says Dr. Christine Gerbstadt, who has lectured on oral health. You can chew on fresh herbs or make tonics by steeping them in hot water (as a tea). These herbs make an excellent digestive as well—doubling the benefits of ending a meal this way.
2. Get some active culture. No, not Cirque de Soleil, but yogurt. A recent study found that a serving of yogurt each day reduces the level of odor-causing hydrogen sulfide in the mouth. Apparently it also cuts back on bacteria in the mouth—plaque and gum disease were reduced in the study’s yogurt eaters as well. Plus, the American Dietetic Association (ADA) recommends getting enough vitamin D from yogurt, cheese and milk if you’re worried about halitosis because this vitamin creates an inhospitable environment for bacteria growth. Be sure to get the kind of yogurt with active cultures—not overly processed or sugar-added varieties.
3. Crunchy types. Apples, carrots, celery—basically any fiber-rich fruit or vegetable is your friend when it comes to fighting halitosis. “Inside your mouth, plaque build-up causes odors,” explains Cynthia Sass, ADA spokeswoman and registered dietician. “Eating foods that increase saliva production keep the mouth moist—and rinsed out. Also, many carbs and proteins can get stuck in your teeth—even healthy foods like whole grain cereal or chicken breast.” So follow a meal with a Granny Smith (feel the saliva kick in at the mention of it?) to cleanse the mouth.
4. Masking techniques. Sugarless gum shouldn’t replace brushing your teeth after a meal, but in a pinch it can freshen breath (masking odors) and is another way to increase saliva production to rinse away plaque and bacteria. Mints can mask as well, but only briefly—and go for sugarless. Sugar creates plaque, and no one wants a mint that makes breath worse.
5. High C’s. Eating berries, citrus fruits, melons and other vitamin C-rich foods create an inhospitable environment for bacteria growth. A diet rich in vitamin C is also is important for preventing gum disease and gingivitis—both major causes of halitosis. Get your C in foods, not supplements, which can cause gastrointestinal upset in some, according to Sass, and exacerbate bad breath.

101 Essential Freelancing Resources


The web is such a big and wonderful place, packed with tools and resources which you all too often don’t know about. So to help all you freelancers out there we have compiled a gigantic list of resources, categorized up for your benefit. If you know a resource that we’ve missed, let us know as we’re always looking to grow this list!
Timing
These are tools to help you time and track your work. Some of them plug into invoicing programs and some even come with them built in:

SlimTimer - A Start/Stop little timer that tracks jobs on a main web interface
Tick - Timetracking application focused on keeping track of your budgets
Time Assistant - Professional timesheet software
Harvest - Simple and efficient time tracking
FourteenDayz - Online time tracking for teams
PunchyTime - A simple time tracking tool for creatives
Invoicing
When you don’t invoice, you don’t get paid, so it literally pays to stay on top of your billing. Here are some tools to help:

Billing Orchard - Electronic billing and invoicing software, starting at $14.95 per month
Billable - Service and invoice tracking
SimplyBill - Easy to use invoicing software
Blinksale - More easy to use invoicing software
Quickbooks - Small business financial software
Side Job Track - Free web-based job tracking, invoicing, reporting and project management for the part-time independent contractor
Freshbooks - Tracks time, sends invoices by email or U.S. mail, and generally makes invoicing easier
InvoicePlace - Easy Invoicing and Quotes From Anywhere
LessAccounting - Is your job title Accounting? Probably not. Do less accounting!
Project Management and Organization
These resources will help you stay organised and manage those projects and clients

Proposal Kit - Proposal and contract management tools
Ta-Da Lists - a simple (free!) to-do list application that can be shared with the world
Backpack - Service that integrates to-do lists, notes, files, images, and a calendar with reminders that can be sent to your email or cell
Writeboard - Sharable, web-based text documents that save edits, so you can collaborate, roll back and compare
ConceptShare - Share designs and get feedback with visual annotation tools
Wridea - Free tool for writers focusing on idea generation
GoPlan - Note-taking, calendaring, task management, issue tracking, file management and online real-time chat
Toodledo - Another web based to-do list
ActiveCollab - Open source collaboration and project management tool
MonkeyOn - Your to-do list for things that you want other people to do
Remember The Milk - Another To-Do List manager
Stock Libraries
Templates, Photos, Flash files all to help make you look good
FlashDen - A resource selling stock Flash, audio, video and fonts for as little as 50 cents
Dreamstime - Royalty free stock photography for $1 - $2
Getty Images - When price is no object and quality is essential
Istockphoto - Royalty free stock photography, videos, and illustrations for $1 - $50
Veer - Rights managed and royalty free photography, illutration, type, and motion Stock.
xchng - Completely Free stock photography
Ice Templates - Website templates in Flash and HTML
Template Monster - The biggest website template company on the web!
MyFonts - All the fonts you could ever want and a very handy font identification tool as well. IconBuffet - Icons, more icons and even more icons
Business Tools
Resources to help with the business of freelancing…

HighRise - Track communication and conversations with leads, employees, clients, colleagues, vendors
Campfire - Real-time group chat and file sharing
Central Desktop - Shared workspaces and web conferencing
Relenta - Manage your email, contacts, documents and activities
Google Apps - Communication and collaboration tools from Google
Zoho - Free office tools
Campaign Monitor - Email newsletter software
Breeze - Email campaign and newsletter software
Business-Paper - Easy business cards
GoToMeeting - Easy online meetings
Wufoo - Make forms to survey your clients
AIGA Spec Letter - Sample letter to communicate with clients who want spec work or free pitching
CPA Directory - Find an accountant (in the US)
SBA - Small Business Administration, help and advice
Paypal - Online payment system
Moneybookers - Online payment system
Escrow - Online payment system that protects the buyer and seller, useful for those bigger jobs with anonymous clients.
Resources for the Design Entrepeneur - Free sample forms and agreements
Work - How-to guides to running a small business
XE - Quick and easy currency converter for all your international transactions…
Trendwatching - Consumer trends and insights resource
Legal
Because you have to protect yourself and your work…

My New Company - Legal and general start-up information
Designers Toolbox - Free legal forms for graphic designers
Copyright - Everything you need to know about US copyright
AIGA Form of Agreement - Standard form of agreement for design services trmplate
Job Boards
A whole bunch of places to find jobs, and don’t forget FreelanceSwitch will be adding its very own job board real soon!

37signals Job Board - Mostly full-time design and programming jobs
Authentic Jobs - Full time and freelance job board for standards aware designers and developers
Coroflot Job Board - Designer job board
WebProJobs - Freelance and full-time jobs for designers, developers, copywriters and marketers
Jobpile - Aggregates the best job boards on the web
Krop - Creative and tech jobs
FWjobs - Web jobs board
SlashDot - Jobs for IT professionals
CSS Beauty Job Board - Job board for web designers
MinistryCamp Job Board - Job board for Christian designers and programmers
Guru - Freelancer listing service with job board
Elance - List yourself for freelance jobs
Web Tools
Tools to get your Web Presence Up and running…

Squarespace - Very nice publishing system for websites and blogs
Rackspace - dedicated hosting and customer service that is second to none
Mosso - Advanced hosting at a reasonable price
MyDomain - Domains for $8.50 per year
Media Temple - Easy to set up and use hosting
Light - Content management for designers and ad agencies
SiteKreator - Instant websites - just add your content
StrongSpace - Back-up and store important files
psd2html - Builds websites in html from Photoshop files
xhtml iT - Website builds from design in 24 hours
ExpressionEngine - A neat little CMS app
Inblogit - A great free blogging tool for web designers
Advertising and Marketing
A few ways to market and advertise yourself online…

Text Link Ads - Text ads to sell your wares and improve your traffic ranking
Review Me - Get your service or Web site reviewed by bloggers
Adbrite - Text and banner ads on over 20,000 sites
AdEngage - Text and Photext ads (image and text ad combined)
Adwords - Text ads on Google searches
Professional On The Web - Get yourself Listed
Miscellaneous
All the many things we couldn’t fit anywhere else!

Creative Public - Useful site for anyone starting a freelance graphic or web design career. A $49.95 fee buys unlimited access to forms, manuals, pricing guides, contracts etc
You Send It - Send files up to 2GB online
Jewelboxing - superior packaging for short run CDs and DVDs
eFax - Send and receive faxes by email
PowerXChange - Extensions for a variety of creative software, including Acrobat, Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign and Dreamweaver
Coroflot - A great resources for designers to showcase their portfolios, share work and network Cloudmark - Block spam on your PC
SpamSieve - Block spam on your Mac
Dropsend - Email up to 1GB of files
Media Fire - Send 100MB files online
Box - Store, share and access files online
Icebrrg - Simple web forms
Formsite - Web forms and surveys in minutes
Lorem Ipsum - Lorem Ipsum generator for dummy copy
Textmate - The essential programmers text editor for Macs
ETextEditor - Like Textmate but for Windows
Kuler - Colour scheme picker
Jungle Disk - Online storage for 15 cents a gigabyte
Do you have a resource we missed? Leave a comment and let us know!
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