Sunday, December 09, 2007

Is She Attracted to Me?

All the signs are there -- if you know how to read them

I get so many emails from men asking me this question:
"How do I know if she is attracted to me on date?"

This a great question, and knowing the answer will make going in for that kiss become her idea and not yours. That's right, guys -- the first kiss has to be her idea. She has to want it and desire it, and learning what her body language is saying is key to the first kiss and knowing if she is attracted to you.

When you are out on a date, sit across from her at a table, or if you are about to sit in a booth, let her sit down first and see where she invites you to sit. Some women will invite you to sit right down next to them in the booth and some will not. If she invites you to sit down next to her, she is telling you that she has an initial attraction to you.

Be a listener, not a talker
“The first step to making the date a true success is to listen to what she is saying.”

Pay attention to the details, and react to what she has to say. That does not mean that you can't share a story or two about yourself, but the best dates are the ones where you're in a listening and reacting mode rather than a talking and bragging mode.

Of course, she wants to hear about who you are and what you are all about. She does not want to hear you brag about how much money you have or how successful you are. She also does not want to know about your negative dating history.

She wants to know about what you have learned in life to this point.

“She wants to see how positive a person you are, and she wants to imagine being able to hang out with you.”

There is a lot to learn about a first date. I really suggest you book one hour of phone time with me to go over all of this. So if you desire to be the guy who women want, then email me right now and let's book that hour.

How to read body language cues
Now what type of body language should you be looking for when you're sitting across from her at that table?


Pay attention to her eyes. One sign of attraction is when her eyes are open really wide, and her pupils are enlarged when you are talking or when she is talking to you.

Another sign of attraction is that when you are speaking, she will lean her body into you and literally be drawn in with your words. She will not get up and go to the bathroom.

She will sit there and not want to miss a single second of the date:

* She will not look at her watch.
* She will not look around the room.
* She will be totally fixated on you the whole time.
* She will play with her hair and lick her lips before she moves towards you, because she is creating a sexual feeling inside her.
* She will reach her hand across the table and glance at yours.
* She will touch your shoulder or another part of you very casually.
* When she is speaking, she will touch her leg or her face, imagining it was you who was touching her.

There are many others, but these are a few good ones to get you started.

“Keep in mind that what she is doing and communicating with her body is on a subconscious level.”

She is not aware of what she is doing, and that is what makes this so powerful.

One last thing:
How do you know after all of this that she wants the kiss?
She wants the kiss if, when you walk her to the car, she lingers and keeps talking and looking at you. What you do then is go in, move towards her lips, and see what she does. Then pull to the side and give her a hug. This will create tension. If she then talks more, look at her, touch her face and move in for the kiss.

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