A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reducesheight and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further andshouts, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I Would meet himhalf an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'
The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, Hoveringapproximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degreesNorth latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.'
'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.
'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is Technicallycorrect, but I have no idea what to make of your Information and the factis I am still lost.'
The man below says, "You must be a project manager."
'Yes, I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where You aregoing. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to Keep, and youexpect me to solve your problem.'
Friday, August 31, 2007
What is the difference between men and women?
Men vs. Women
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*******
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
*******
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't want.
*******
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
*******
5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and
after marriage.
*******
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*******
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
*******
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
*******
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
*******
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look
at a wedding as the ending of romance.
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*******
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
*******
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't want.
*******
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
*******
5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and
after marriage.
*******
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*******
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
*******
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
*******
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
*******
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look
at a wedding as the ending of romance.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Hilirious
A woman awakens during the night to find that her husband was not
in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at
the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?"
he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun
in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you
to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at
the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?"
he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun
in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you
to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Windows from its scratch till now...
Windows_1.01
Windows_2.03
Windows_3.00
Windows_ NT _3.0
Windows_ 95
Windows_ 98
Windows_ 2000
Windows_ XP
Windows_ Longhorn
 Windows_ Surface Computing
Airways Ad Wars![ Jet V/s. King Fisher]
This is a hoarding Jet Airways put at a busy road in Mumbai
SEE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT ………
AFTER A FEW DAYS ...
and FINALLY ...
What’s on the teens’ mind?
Peer Pressure Makes Teens Rebels, Parents Rue Lack Of Communication.
‘Kids will be kids’ has become an obsolete expression now. Not because it has aged into a cliche, but because kids are, well, no longer kids. That’s when 16-year-olds party till 3 am, 14-year-olds guzzle beer at birthday parties and nine-year-olds chat online. And that’s when generation gap is no longer the phrase that bothers parents the most.
Because, as more and more urban parents try to strike a friendship with their teenaged children, the two words that keep haunting them are peer pressure. For peers, as it has turned out in Adnan Patrawala’s murder case, can cause the most unforeseen and dire consequences sometimes. While teenagers strut from a tuition class to tennis practice, cafe meetups to parties, parents have to use all options to keep a tab on their activities, acquaintances, pocket money, cellphone talk time and internet usage besides, of course, routine matters like academics.
They would rather listen to their friends than their parents. They don’t want to be left out of what their friends are doing, says Supriya Gujral, a stayat-home mother of two, fretting that her 14-year-old daughter loves to wear new clothes, click her pictures on her cellphone and upload them online. Gujral’s son, younger to his sister by five years, is a regular visitor to chat sites. ‘‘While we have blocked porn sites, it’s difficult to know who they’re chatting with,’’ says Gujral, who visits the online history on her children’s computer to keep track of the websites they have visited. But then, the kids delete the history too.
Nivedita Chatterjee recalls how when she used the childlock facility to lock some cartoon channels which her 10-year-old son had got hooked to, he retaliated by locking some popular channels that she and her husband were fond of watching.
While internet usage bothers most parents, monitoring it gets more difficult when parents don’t know their way about the computer. ‘‘When my son chats, I don’t have a choice, because I’m not computer savvy,’’ says Arti Jain, the mother of a 15-year-old boy.
Blogs of two Delhi students talk of scrapbooks and headgirls in the same font as admitting having made out. One of the 17-year-old girls claims she got her first kiss at 14, while the other talks of ‘‘a kiss in the rain as the one I’ll never forget.’’
While the kids want to have a good time, the parents are left to their own devices to find out exactly how good will it turn out. Jain recalls a birthday party at a restaurant where the host mother objected to her daughter’s friends ordering beer. The 15-year-olds retorted, ‘‘Aunty, we’ll pay for it.’’
Kids these days just inform, not ask you, about their plans, Gujral says. Her daughter once attended a birthday party where the teenager spent Rs 8,000 on treating four friends, and buying a top worth Rs 2,800 for his girlfriend.
Jain’s son has admitted he tried smoking but hated it. And her husband lets the 15-year-old take a few sips out of his glass once a while, so that he doesn’t experiment outside home till he comes of age. It’s not as if parents are completely oblivious of what teens are up to. And most of them try to lend a sympathetic ear or even support them in difficult situations. ‘‘I know some of my son’s friends are dating,’’ says Madhvi Swarup, mother of a 14-year-old. “I have told him that as long as he talks to me about everything, its fine.’’
“Talking is the most parents can do to know their child. You can’t dominate them,” says Divya Gurwara, who has two sons aged 17 and 16. And yet, no amount of bonding can be enough. Guwara has met most of her son’s friends and their parents, and does not sleep until her sons get back home, even if it’s 3 am. But her elder son did a rebel act once when she tried to stop him from visiting some place. He didn’t pick up his phone for two hours.
But such incidents are the least of the worries for parents. ‘‘My major worry is that a situation shouldn’t arise when they get into wrong company,’’ says Gurwara. Ensuring that is an incessant job, where one can’t afford to bat an eyelid. ‘Mothers have eyes at the back of their head’ seems to be yet another old phrase. Now they need several pairs of all senses — working all the time.
Because, as more and more urban parents try to strike a friendship with their teenaged children, the two words that keep haunting them are peer pressure. For peers, as it has turned out in Adnan Patrawala’s murder case, can cause the most unforeseen and dire consequences sometimes. While teenagers strut from a tuition class to tennis practice, cafe meetups to parties, parents have to use all options to keep a tab on their activities, acquaintances, pocket money, cellphone talk time and internet usage besides, of course, routine matters like academics.
They would rather listen to their friends than their parents. They don’t want to be left out of what their friends are doing, says Supriya Gujral, a stayat-home mother of two, fretting that her 14-year-old daughter loves to wear new clothes, click her pictures on her cellphone and upload them online. Gujral’s son, younger to his sister by five years, is a regular visitor to chat sites. ‘‘While we have blocked porn sites, it’s difficult to know who they’re chatting with,’’ says Gujral, who visits the online history on her children’s computer to keep track of the websites they have visited. But then, the kids delete the history too.
Nivedita Chatterjee recalls how when she used the childlock facility to lock some cartoon channels which her 10-year-old son had got hooked to, he retaliated by locking some popular channels that she and her husband were fond of watching.
While internet usage bothers most parents, monitoring it gets more difficult when parents don’t know their way about the computer. ‘‘When my son chats, I don’t have a choice, because I’m not computer savvy,’’ says Arti Jain, the mother of a 15-year-old boy.
Blogs of two Delhi students talk of scrapbooks and headgirls in the same font as admitting having made out. One of the 17-year-old girls claims she got her first kiss at 14, while the other talks of ‘‘a kiss in the rain as the one I’ll never forget.’’
While the kids want to have a good time, the parents are left to their own devices to find out exactly how good will it turn out. Jain recalls a birthday party at a restaurant where the host mother objected to her daughter’s friends ordering beer. The 15-year-olds retorted, ‘‘Aunty, we’ll pay for it.’’
Kids these days just inform, not ask you, about their plans, Gujral says. Her daughter once attended a birthday party where the teenager spent Rs 8,000 on treating four friends, and buying a top worth Rs 2,800 for his girlfriend.
Jain’s son has admitted he tried smoking but hated it. And her husband lets the 15-year-old take a few sips out of his glass once a while, so that he doesn’t experiment outside home till he comes of age. It’s not as if parents are completely oblivious of what teens are up to. And most of them try to lend a sympathetic ear or even support them in difficult situations. ‘‘I know some of my son’s friends are dating,’’ says Madhvi Swarup, mother of a 14-year-old. “I have told him that as long as he talks to me about everything, its fine.’’
“Talking is the most parents can do to know their child. You can’t dominate them,” says Divya Gurwara, who has two sons aged 17 and 16. And yet, no amount of bonding can be enough. Guwara has met most of her son’s friends and their parents, and does not sleep until her sons get back home, even if it’s 3 am. But her elder son did a rebel act once when she tried to stop him from visiting some place. He didn’t pick up his phone for two hours.
But such incidents are the least of the worries for parents. ‘‘My major worry is that a situation shouldn’t arise when they get into wrong company,’’ says Gurwara. Ensuring that is an incessant job, where one can’t afford to bat an eyelid. ‘Mothers have eyes at the back of their head’ seems to be yet another old phrase. Now they need several pairs of all senses — working all the time.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Diamond Rakhis the Rage
An ordinary thread rakhi, costing no more than Rs 10 would suffice to signify the bond between brothers and sisters on Rakshabadhan. But not in Surat. Here, everything has to have the glitter of opulence. Diamond-studded rakhis are the latest rage in Surat. A rakhi on Rakshabandhan, it can turn into a fashion accessory later.
Jewellers are selling rakhis studded with diamonds. “Surtis simply can’t resist something new,’’ says Viral Joshi of Agni Jewels. Rakhis are available in 18-carat gold and cost anywhere between 5,000 to Rs 15,000. Jayesh Choksi of Rushabh Jewellers has prepared rakhis that can be worn as pendants later. “They can become a fashion accessory after Rakshabandhan,’’ he says.
It was a request from her brother that made Reema Shah of Ghod Dhod Road purchase a diamond-studded rakhi. “Apart from the fact that these rakhis are trendy, they also give a whole new meaning to the festival,’’ Reema says. “My brother will never throw his rakhi away. He can always use the diamond.’’
“I was tired of tying the usual rakhi on my brother’s wrist year after year,’’ says Athwa Lines resident Anu Sanghvi. For those who can’t afford diamond-studded rakhis, there are rakhis with artificial stones, including American diamonds, in a price range of Rs 150 to Rs 600.
OCCASION TO CELEBRATE, GET RAKSHA FROM GOD!
Transgressing faith, borders and communal boundaries, Raksha Bandhan marks the most lovable union of them all – that between a brother and a sister. And today, millions across the nation will partake in the simple yet significant ceremony of tying a thread on the wrist of a brother praying for his well-being and ask for protection for life. And, there will be those ‘sisters’ like brotherless K Koya who have been tying rakhis to idols and munhbole bhai for want of blood-brothers. For girls without brothers, the festival only fetches the opportunity to bridge relationships with others who needn’t be blood-relatives. It could be a neighbour or simply a friend back in college who is “like a brother.”
Koya, on her part, has been tying a rakhi on the wrist of Lord Krishna’s idol year after year from the time she was 21. “Today, when I look back, I feel that it’s Shri Krishna himself who has protected me all my life,” recalls a 71-year-old Koya who will again be performing the ceremony complete with the aarti; the puja and tying of the rakhi on an idol of Lord Krishna once again. One hell of a way to procure state-of-the-art raksha this!
The nation’s abuzz with rakhi-related activities. Every nook and cranny of the cities markets seem to be aglitter with the most colourful of rakhis; gift sets customised for fastidious brothers and sisters.
The simplest of festivals that somehow touches upon members of every community – Muslims, Sikhs, Parsis and even Christians – continues to be a rage among siblings. “The tradition of the sister tying a rakhi on the wrist of the brother in lieu of a promise to protect them for life has been passed down generations together,” quips 27-year-old BMM student Nina Pohankar.
“Besides tying a rakhi to my brother Vipul, I also tie it to a Muslim neighbour Sohail who has been as good as a family member ever since I can remember,” she says. Notwithstanding the traditional ‘raksha’ bit, it’s the more practical aspect of Raksha Bandhan – the gift that comes in lieu of the rakhi – that interest most sisters. “Last year, I ‘earned’ more than Rs 4,200 from my brothers, three of my own and six cousins on Raksha Bandhan,” says 25-year-old MBA graduate Parul Sheth.
“This year, I’m buying costlier rakhis and have told all my brothers in advance that I expect the gifts to be in kind rather than cash. It makes the festival so much more fun that way. And, getting a surprise gift is a lot better than getting cash which is so boringly predictable,” says Parul.
Raksha Bandhan, besides providing siblings the opportunity to express their love and loyalty towards each other, fetches business for the monsoon hit. “After days on end of a bad patch owing to the rains that have affected business so badly, sales have stepped up due to Raksha Bandhan when we open up seasonal counters to sell rakhis and gifts for sisters,” says departmental-store owner Ratandeep Rathod.
Monday, August 27, 2007
BETTER SURF THAN SORRY
A couple participates in the World Title of Tandem Surfing, at Waikiki Beach, Honolulu. In this manoeuvre, known as ‘the helicopter’, the man spins his partner across his back. The contest is part of the Duke’s OceanFest, a week-long celebration of the life of legendary surfer Duke Kahanamoku.Sunday, August 26, 2007
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