STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn`t heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what`s your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we`ll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don`t you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He`d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I`m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.


MARY : John says I`m pretty. Andy says I`m ugly.What do u think,Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you`re pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don`t need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It`s a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She`s a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I`ve
failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year`s
performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don`t have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I`ve
treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father`s
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn`t punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."