And then the fight started.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked , 'What's on TV?'

I said , 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
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When I got home last night , my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
So , I took her to a gas station..
And then the fight started...
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion , and my wife
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked my wife , 'Do you know him?'

'Yes , ' She sighed , 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago , and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife , 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter , for some reason , took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak , medium rare , please."

He said , "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Naaah , she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

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A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband ,
'I feel horrible; I look old , fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies , 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started..... .

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead , she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

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I asked my wife , "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested , "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run , my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..
But , somehow I always had something else to take care of first:
the truck , the car , e-mail , fishing , always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day , I found her seated in the tall grass ,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass , ' I said , 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
And then the fight started...