Things you would love to say out loud at work!!

1 - I can see your point, but I still think you're full of #####.

2 - I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3 - How about never? Is never good for you?

4 - I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.

5 - I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6 - I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

7 - I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.

8 - I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

9 - It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.

10 - Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11 - I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12 - You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13 - I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.

14 - I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

15 - I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16 - Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17 - The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18 - Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19 - What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20 - I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21 - Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.

22 - I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

23 - And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?

24 - Do I look like a f..king people person to you?

25 - This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26 - I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27 - Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28 - If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29 - Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30 - Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31 - Oh, I get it. Like humour. Only different.

32 - A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

33 - Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34 - Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35 - Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

36 - Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.

37 - How do I set a laser printer to kill.