Life is not a game to lose!

Friday, January 04, 2008

Magic Window (Optical Illusion)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

My New Year resolution

No matter what happens in the project,

Whatever may be the pressure, deadlines, tensions+

…..

I’ll maintain this spirit :D

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".

Editor: "Sir. It’s amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse’s back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" ..

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."

Husband:"That’s it. We are happily married ever after. "

Church Bulletins

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church
ladies with typewriters.

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church
bulletins or were announced in church services:

--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon
tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care
much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in t he park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

Some Indian Themes

f some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend
- likho scipt apna apna(Rotomac)

Boy going on bike with neighbor's girl
- Neighbors envy owners pride(Onida)

If you love someone
- Go get it (visa power)

Want to propose to a girl
- Just do it. (Nike)

For those lost in love
- Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera Bagpiper

If your girl asks you which dress to wear
- Kuch nahi (Pears)

If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
- Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo (Vicks)

Not satisfied with your dates
- Yeh dil mangey more (Pepsi)

Scared while proposing to a girl
- Piyo glass full dudh (Operation flood)

If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are
- 50-50 (Britannia)

A guy having a number of girl friends
- Complete Man (Raymonds)

A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
- yeh hai hamara suraksa chakra (Colgate)

If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
- Take it easy (Limca)

If you get married to a girl of your mothers choice
- Jiyo merey Lal (Brook Bond)

US VISA!

A sad story of a lion> ..> ...>

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more
than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited
the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c
environment, a
goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed
very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few
bananas.

Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were
worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food
bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,
'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with
your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering
bananas to
me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle
but ..did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!

Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I am the New Year.

I am the New Year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice
What you have learned about life
During the last twelve months.

All that you sought
And didn't find is hidden in me,
Waiting for you to search it out
With more determination.

All the good that you tried for
And didn't achieve is mine to grant
When you have fewer conflicting desires.

All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do,
All that you hoped but did not will,
All the faith that you claimed but did not have -
These slumber lightly,
Waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.

I am your opportunity to renew
Your allegiance to Him who said,
'behold, I make all things new.'

I am the New Year.

Dating Resolutions for 2008

If you failed to pull a cracker during the festive season, don’t think the rest of the year will be a romantic write-off. In fact, 2008 could turn out to be your best year for dating yet, especially if you follow these tips from Match.com’s relationship expert KATE TAYLOR

1. Prioritise your Love Life
There’s a part of all of us that believes the old saying, “Love will find you when you’re not looking for it.” Which is probably good advice, in that if you roam the singles scene latching on to anyone promising like a love-struck crab, you probably won’t get very far. But don’t take the advice to mean that you must remain passive in your search for Mr and Mrs Right.

When we talk to successful couples who found each other through Match.com, we always notice that they were proactive in their search for love. They opened an account, uploaded flattering pictures, and made an effort to regularly check their messages. It’s not a full-time job – just 15 minutes a day will keep you on top of your inbox – but it’s something you should do if you want to find someone lovely. And spending 15 minutes reading your messages will be a lot more fun that using those minutes to clean under the fridge or scrub the bathmat.

Making an effort this way helps you keep a positive attitude and it reminds your brain that you want to find someone – which means that, when they find you, you’ll recognise them immediately.

2. Be Light-hearted
Don’t allow yourself to take the search for Love too seriously. When we’ve been single for a while, we often start to feel negative about relationships, and that attitude can make you seem cynical, suicidal or psychotic on dates. So, don’t focus on how long you’ve been alone – instead, cheer yourself up with the fact that there are billions of singletons in this country and you only have to find one. Then, don’t be afraid to be sassy or cheeky; it makes you appear confident. Write a funny profile on the Match site that showcases your sense of humour. Go speed-dating, and treat it as a laugh, not the Last-Chance Saloon. Keep yourself upbeat with regular massages and haircuts, and fill your life with exciting activities you can enjoy as a single person. That way, you won’t be focussing on what you’re missing, but how full your life is already.

3. Show up to everything
Your perfect match isn’t going to suddenly show up and knock on your door one day, unless you’re hoping to fall in love with a Jehovah’s Witness. So, to meet your Match, you have to get out there. For one month, I want you to go to every event you’re invited to, no matter how boring it might sound. The office crew asks you to go bowling with them after work? This month, you’re going to go. Next-door neighbour has a drinks party for teetotal ex-prisoners? This month, you’re going to go. Your local vet has an open day? This month, you’ll be there. You get the idea.

Why? Because it will force you out of your comfort zone – which as a single person, is probably centred around your sofa – and it will give your social-skills a good buffing-up which will help you immensely on dates. And, it will give Fate a chance to get you together with your Perfect Partner. Listen, don’t argue with me – just do it.

4. Adopt a celebrity
Who do you admire that’s famous? Think of one person then adopt them, secretly, as your alter-ego. It can be anyone you like, as long as they have the important characteristic: you think of them as braver and more go-getting than yourself. Now, when you find yourself paralysed with terror in front of an attractive profile on Match, or too scared to ask someone out on a date, I want you to pretend that you’re not you, but Celebrity Stand-In instead. What would they do? Would they balk at chatting someone up, or just do it? Decide how they’d react and proceed accordingly. This is much more effective than you’ll ever believe, as it releases you from fear and helps you to do scary things because it doesn’t feel anymore as if you’re the one doing them. Use this technique whenever you need a shot of instant charisma and bravery.

5. Get touchy
One of the things we miss when we’re single is physical touching. But I don’t want you to live this way because lack of touching can contribute to real health problems, like depression and high blood pressure. To make sure you get your daily dose of touching, book regular massages, take dance lessons and try to be slightly more touchy-feely when you talk to people. (Give them a light tap on the arm to make a point, for example – don’t go ramming your hand down their top.) Stroking an animal is amazingly good for stress-relief, so pet your pets or those of a friend. It’ll boost your health and help keep you positive until you find a perfect partner.