Well Grace, if you want to breakthrough your depression and feel totally happy, confident and fulfilled, there are Three major mindset shifts that you must make right now.
When one feels depressed:
The first thing you MUST know is that there is NOTHING wrong with you! You are a perfectly normal and healthy person who has just developed a temporary habitual pattern of getting into a depressed state. All of us get depressed from time to time…even I do. I bet anyone who is reading this feels depressed at times too.
Once you LABEL yourself as having problem/ disease/condition called ‘clinical depression’, then you have doomed yourself to be this way for a very long time. As human beings, we always behave in a way that is consistent with our self image and identity. If you believe that you are clinical depressed, that mere thought will stimulate chemicals in your brain that will continue to make you feel depressed! The human mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what you believe to be real! It is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. At the same time, you will always behave consistently with your self image and expectations. If you believe you are a depressed person, you are going to take on negative thoughts, see things in a pessimistic way and use your physical body in a certain way (slouch your shoulders, look down, breathe shallow, walk slowly), thereby reinforcing this negative pattern forever.
So, keep telling yourself that you are a happy and healthy person that MUST change your temporary negative emotion! In other words, your emotion does not define or change what or who you are!
2) Only YOU Can Change Your Emotions
The second thing is to understand that nothing can and will come along to change your emotions. If you are expecting that getting a monetary windfall, promotion, a praise, loving words will change how you feel… It won’t change how you feel permanently. The reason is because the secret to changing how you feel LIES IN the THOUGHTS you choose to have. It is your INNER WORLD you must change.
It is not the events that happen to us that determine how we feel. It is how we choose to look at those events and interpret those events that determine our emotional state. This is why a person like Britney Spears who was given all the fame, fortune, beauty, opportunity and love could still feel DEPRESSED AND LOUSY and in the end turn to alcohol and drugs that destroyed her marriage, her career and her life. If you are not happy with who you are today, then a billion dollars and a million fans will NOT make you happy. Courtney Live, Lindsey Lohan, Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, John Belushi and Whitney Houston are again examples of people who have had everything most people would dream of but destroyed it all because they did not control their inner thoughts!
At the same time, look at people like Nelson Mandela, Nick Vujicic (the guy born with no arms and legs), my fellow trainer Dr. William Tan (paralyzed at age 2) or Oprah Winfrey who were given the most painful and unfair environment and circumstances any person could think of! Oprah was born to a 13-year old mother with no father. She was physically and sexually abused for over several years and got pregnant at the age of 12 herself. She gave birth to a still born and was sent to juvenile detention for criminal and drug activity brought on by her caregivers. And yet, this woman remains extremely confident and happy, loving herself every step of the way. It is her inner passion and love that has not only allowed her to become one of the wealthiest women on the planet, but allowed her to inspire the lives of millions.
So, you have to understand that NO MATTER what happens of the outside, it cannot affect how you feel unless you choose to allow it to. It is ultimately how you think, interpret and respond to the events in your life that determine how you feel.
3) You Can Change Your Emotions in An Instant!
The third principle is to understand that depression (or any state for that matter) is NOT a disease like FLU that must take days, weeks or months to run its course before you can better. Depression is a state that you CAN change IMMEDIATELY the moment you CHOOSE to MAKE IT A MUST. The moment you decide that you are SICK and TIRED of feeling LOUSY and you will NO LONGER stand for it, is the moment YOU CHANGE. My guess is that there must be some secondary benefit in your subconscious mind that makes you hold on to this lousy feeling. Is it because it gets you attention? Is it because it feels more comfortable and safe to feel depressed than to go out in the world and take action and dream big? Is it an excuse you use to avoid doing stuff? You have to make it a MUST to let go! No secondary benefit is worth it…isn’t it?
Once you understand the 3 principles, let me tell you a few things you can do immediately to change how you feel (this is exactly what I did to change my Own state).
1) Write down all reasons why you must change NOW! Write down all the painful consequences of continuing to hold on to this depression. How is it costing you in terms of your health, career, family…. At the same time, write down all the benefits and pleasure you will experience if you can feel totally happy and confident! Then, VISUALIZE yourself experiencing the freedom, joy and abundance in your career, family, relationships and health now
2) Change your focus. What we choose to focus on consistently determines our reality and our emotions. I want you to focus on what you are grateful for and what you appreciate in your life. I want you to write down at least 10-20 things which you appreciate about your life. Focus on what you HAVE and what you want to achieve!
3) How you use your physical body and your physical health is a major factor affecting your emotions. I want you to begin to CARRY yourself AS IF you were totally happy and on top of the world. When you give a wide SMILE and GRIN, walk with a DANCE in your step, SPEAK faster and in an excited voice, Breathe DEEPER, look UP and lift your eyebrows, you will be amazed how it changes how you feel. At the same time, work out your body! Go for a swim, run, play tennis, jump on a trampoline. When your body is active…it is IMPOSSIBLE for your mind to access depression
4) Only use powerful words on yourself. From now, on keeping telling yourself how happy, healthy and lucky you are. We think by talking to ourselves. If you keep telling yourself how great life is, your mind will focus on and create that reality for you…
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