Start with.. (laugh)

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tellsher that “she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED”.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SADAfter Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :1. Tele-Phone2. Tele-Vision3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not theirfriends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and BestWoman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all yourFriends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through aforest.They see an ELEPHANT comingt owards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILLhim.Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we willjust throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE himbecause he is ALONE and we areF OUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing inyour life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing inyour life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free youfrom Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - PleasePAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because as perConstitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.