Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Token of Appreciation!
Sensitive, loyal and understanding
Humorous, fun, secure and true
Always there... yes that's you.
Special, accepting, exciting and wise
Truthful and helpful, with honest eyes
Confiding, forgiving, cheerful and bright
Yes that's you... not one bit of spite.
You're one of a kind, different from others
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game
But not just another... in the long chain.
Appreciative, warm and precious like gold
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old
You'll always be there, I know that is true
I'll always be here... always for you.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Mirror Test(2 way mirror or not)
How to determine if a mirror is 2 way or not (Not a Joke!)? Not to scare you, but to make sure that you aware. Many of the Hotels and Textile showrooms cheat the customers this way & watch privately.
HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR?When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they cansee you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type ofmirror we are looking at?
CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.
However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There is someone seeing you from theother side). So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do.
This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass.Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms. May be someone is making a film on you.
Ladies: Share this with your friends.Men: Share this with your sisters, wives, daughters, friends, colleagues, etc.
Things that Make You Feel Good
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail from a friend.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
19. Running through sprinklers.
20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
22. Laughing at an inside joke.
23. Friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep before you have to get up.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
What month were you born in??... It says a whole lot about you!!...
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them.
FEBRUARY=THUG
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Love s entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH=GORGEOUS
Drop dead gorgeous!!! Attractive personality. Very! sexy. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbrea ker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of NE of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.likes to keep theyre crushes kinda secret.pretty much flawless.
APRIL=SEXY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up an d/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Inner and physical beauty. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.
MAY=LOVER
Hella sexy, loves sex n making luv, tends to be SOOOOO hott!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and cari ng. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.
JUNE = LUST
Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takesrep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
JULY=GANGSTAR
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with a JUNE brithday. It is also more likely than that you have a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!
AUGUST=ATTITUDE
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitud e. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.
SEPTEMBER=FINEASS PIMP
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fullfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.
OCTOBER=HOTTIE
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easi ly and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.
NOVEMBER=SWEETIE
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good phy sical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.
DECEMBER=BEAUTY
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to kno w. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.
Monday, April 23, 2007
15 Ways Stores Trick You Into Spending (and 10 ways to fight back)
1. Shopping carts. Most store customers enter the store intending to buy only an item or two, but the shopping carts are right there by the entrance and, oh, wouldn't it be convenient to have it so I can lean on it a bit while walking around and to put my stuff in it? The cart has a huge bin compared with the size of most items for sale in the store, making it psychologically easy to toss in an item you don't need -- after all, there's room for plenty more, right?
2. Desirable departments are far away from the entrance. Most of the items I go to a department store to buy, such as light bulbs and laundry detergent, are located many, many aisles from the entrance. This means I spend my time walking by a lot of consumer goods on my way to find the item I want. Because these consumer goods are effectively marketed to me, there's a good likelihood that I'll spy something that I don't necessarily need and toss it in the cart.
3. The toy section is far, far, far away from the entrance. Naturally, if I take my son to the store, he wants to visit the toy section. He gets excited and starts shouting "Ball! Ball!" to me when we go in because he remembers the enormous plastic balls in the toy section. I tell him that if he's good, we'll go look at the balls, and at the end of the trip, we usually make our way over there. What do we see? Lots of children in that area, which means that there are parents that follow their children.
4. Impulse-oriented items are near the checkouts. Stores stock the latest DVD releases and "froth" magazines there, along with overpriced beverages and candy. Why? Because people leaving the store are thirsty, and they're going to be standing in line for a bit, which is the perfect place to hook them with some entertainment options.
5. The most expensive versions of a product are the ones at eye level. Take a look sometime at the arrangement of different choices for a particular product, such as laundry detergent. Almost every time, the most expensive options per unit are placed at eye level, so you see them first when you enter an aisle. The bulk options and better deals are usually on the bottom shelves.
6. Items that aren't on sale are sometimes placed as though they are on sale, without using the word "sale." I noticed this over and over with diapers; the department store would display a rack of them with a huge sign above them displaying the price, but it would be the same price I paid for them a week ago. Unsurprisingly, the diapers displayed like that were always the most expensive kind.
7. Commodity items, such as socks, are surrounded by noncommodity items, such as shirts and jeans. If I'm looking to buy some socks, I have to traverse through a number of racks full of different types of clothing in the clothing section just to reach them. Why? If my mind is already open to the idea of buying clothes, I would be more likely to look at other clothing items.
8. Slickly packaged items alternate with less slickly packaged items. Look carefully at an aisle of, say, potato chips. The ones with the bright and slick packaging are generally more expensive, which isn't surprising. But notice that there usually isn't a section of just inexpensive chips -- in most stores, they're sandwiched between more-expensive items. If there is a section of just inexpensive items, they're down by your feet (think about the inexpensive bagged cereals at your local supermarket).
9. Stop, stop, stop. You add items to your cart only if you stop, right? So stores are designed to maximize the number of stops you have to make: aisles in which only two carts can fit, colorful and attractive layouts, escalators and, my favorite of all, sample vendors. Even if it's not conscious to you, every time you stop moving in a store, you increase your chances of putting something into your cart.
10. Staple items are placed in the middle of aisles, nonessential and overpriced items near the end. Why? If you enter an aisle to get a "staple" item (i.e., a high-traffic item), you have to go by the other items twice -- once on the way in and once on the way out. That gives these items two chances to make their pitch at you.
11. Prices are chosen to make comparison math difficult. Instead of selling the 100-ounce detergent for $6 and the 200-ounce detergent for $11 (making it easier to figure out the better deal), they sell the 100-ounce for $5.99 and the 200-ounce for $10.89. Hey, look, they're basically the same, right, because five is half of 10? Uh, no.
12. Stuff in bins isn't always a bargain. Higher-end stores will sometimes put items in "bins" to emulate the bargains found at cheaper stores, but the prices are still quite high. They just use the visual cue of a "bargain store" to make you think it is a bargain.
13. High-markup items are made to look prestigious. If you see something in a glass case that has lots of space around it, your gut reaction is to believe that it is valuable and prestigious to own, and for many people it can be as attractive as a light to a moth. The truth is that these items typically have tremendous markup -- you're literally just buying an idea, not a product.
14. The most profitable department is usually the first one you run into. Ever noticed that at Younkers, JC Penney, Kohl's and such stores, the cosmetic department is front and center? That's because it's very profitable, and by putting it in a place where people walk by time and time again, customers are more prone to making a purchase on an item with a very big markup.
15. Restrooms and customer services are usually right by the exit or as far from the exit as possible. Why? If you need to use either one in the middle of a shopping journey, you have to walk by a lot of merchandise to reach the needed service, thus increasing your chances for an impulse buy.
How can I fight back? Is there any wonder why people end up buying more than they need or buying sizes that are poor deals? With an array of techniques at their disposal, retailers can make a mint. Had enough? Here are 10 things you can do to fight back against these techniques:
1. Don't use a shopping cart unless you need it. A cart, most of the time, is just a place to put stuff you don't need. If you're carrying a product, you're a lot more likely to consider whether it's a worthwhile purchase.
2. Make a shopping list and stick to it. A list makes you focus on the items you intended to buy. Without it, you are much more prone to wandering and stumbling into "great buys" that you don't really need.
3. Look at nothing but the prices and sizes. That's all the information you really need -- everything else is marketing. Find the one that has the best price for its size, get that one, and move on.
4. Start at the back and work toward the front. If this is an option at all for you based on the store layout, do it. When you go in, head directly for the most distant item, then progress back toward the checkout aisles. If you do it the other way, you're prone to walk more slowly and tiredly toward the front after your shopping is done, leaving you open to lots of impulse buys on the way.
5. Always look at the bottom shelf first. If you've found the section you want, start looking at the bottom shelf first. This is usually where the better per-unit deals are.
6. Don't stop unless you're actively selecting an item. Displays are designed to beg you to stop for a moment and just look, which is often enough to get you to pick out the item. Even if something looks interesting, keep walking. You can study it as you go past and make up your mind later about the item.
7. Never go by an item twice unless absolutely necessary. If you go down an aisle, start at one end and continue all the way out the other. Walking by an item once lets it sink into your short-term memory, giving just a hint of familiarity when you walk by it again, sometimes just enough to persuade you to buy it.
8. Carry a pocket calculator -- or know how to use the one on your cell phone. Do the math yourself to find out what the best buy is because stores try to choose numbers that make drawing false conclusions quite easy.
9. If you don't know for sure that it is a good deal, don't buy because you think it is a good deal. Stores use all kinds of visual cues to make you think something is a bargain when it's not (like the bin trick mentioned above). Don't buy anything because it's a "deal" unless you're sure that it really is an excellent bargain -- just walk away.
10. At the checkout, rethink everything you put in your cart -- and don't hesitate to hand an item to the cashier and say you've changed your mind. Many people seem to have a guilt, or obligation, to buy an item that they've put into their cart. Don't. You're the customer -- you have the right to choose whether to buy. If you find something you don't want to buy, tell the cashier and don't buy it.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Flower In The Desert
There was a young flower in the desert where all was dry and sad looking...It was growing by itself...enjoying every day...and saying to the sun "When shall I be grown up"? And the sun would say "Be patient"---Each time I touch you,you grow a little"...And she was so pleased.Because she would have a chance to bring beauty to this corner of sand...And this is all she wanted to do---bring a little bit of beauty to this world.
One day the hunter came by---and stepped on her.---She was going to die---and she felt so sad.Not because she was dying ---but because she would not have a chance to bring a little bit of beauty to this corner of the desert.
The great spirit saw her, and was listening.---Indeed,he said ...She should be living...And he reached down and touched her---and gave her life.
And she grew up to be a beautiful flower...and this corner of the desert became so beautiful because of her.
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, 'Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut way all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.'
"I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them. 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
You have 2 choices now:
1. save or delete this mail from your mail box.
2. forward it to anyone you care about.
* Hope you will choose choice 2.
Copyright Permission is given as long as this remains unchanged
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Never marry a software engineer:
Husband :-(while entering home)hi dear,i have logged in.
Wife:- have you brought the saree?
Husband :- bad command or file name.
Wife:- but i told you about it in the morning.
Husband :- erroneous syntax. Abort-retry-ignore.
Wife:- hae bhagwan!!Forget it.Where`s your salary?
Husband :- file in use,read only,try aftersome time.
Wife:- atleast give me your credit card,i can do some shopping.
Husband :- sharing violation.Access denied.
Wife:- i made a mistake in marring you.
Husband :- data type mismatch.
Wife:- who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband :- system unstable.Press any key
wife :- would you like to have some snacks?
Husband :- - hard disk full.
Wife:- what is my value in your life?
Husband :- unknown virus detected.
Wife:- do you love me or your computer?
Husband :- too many parameters.
Wife :- i will go to my dad`s house
husband :- this program has performed an illigal operation and will be shut Down.
Wife:- i will leave you forever.
Husband :- close all programs and log out for another user.
Wife:- it is worthless talking to you.
Husband :- -shut down the computer.
Wife:- i am going. Husband :- its now safe to turn off your computer.
Why to fly by Kingfisher Airline...
2 . Tickets are easily available.
3 . Good Service.
4 . And..............
Some Funny Jokes!
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------------
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------------- Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------------- Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------------- Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
------------ --------- --------- -------
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
------------ --------- --------- -------
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age? STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Husband on Sale!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak She is so tempted to stay,
but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Indian Fashion Glossary
Angarkha A long-sleeved, full-skirted tunic for men, generally open at the chest and tied in front with an inner flap
Ari Awl-like hooked needle, often used for chain stitch embroidery
Badam A textile term for oval-shaped motifs
Badla Flattened gold or silver wire
Badla Mukaish Knots of badla sewn onto cloth
Baluchar A type of brocaded silk sari
Bandgala Achkan and shervani (lit. 'closed neck')
Bandhini The mode of tie-dyeing fabrics to form patterns (also known as bandhej)
Bandi A short jacket or waistcoat
Batik A paste or wax resist dyeing technique
Bel A stylized creeper pattern
Buti A smaller version of a buta the term is used also to denote stylized animal motifs printed in block repeats
Calico A term used by early European traders
Cheent Spotted
Chikankari White embroidery, predominantly floral patterns, executed on fine white cotton with untwisted threads of white cotton or silk
Chiru Himalayan antelope
Choli A woman's blouse or bodice usually tight-fitting
Chunari A tie-dyed dotted pattern, a veil
Chunnat Pleated or crimped gota ribbon
Churidar paijama Style of tight-fitting paijama, rouched from the knee to the ankles (lit. the paijama with bangles)
Dhoti An unstitched garment used to drape the lower body, very much in use today
Dori A cord
Dupatta An unstitched length of material for the upper body traditionally worn by both sexes, but now mainly worn by women as part of a salwar kameez (paijama and tunic) ensemble
Farshi A wide legged trailing paijama
Ganga Jamuna The juxtaposition of silver and gold in a woven pattern, named after the confluence of dark and light waters of the two sacred rivers
Ghaghra A gathered skirt usually very flared
Ghera Circumference, fullness of a garment
Gheru Saffron, ochre
Ghundi A button made of silk or cotton, sometimes covered with gold or silver wire, held together with a loop
Gota A metallic ribbon in which badla forms the weft and silk or cotton the wrap
Gota Moti A beaded cord covered with gota, often used for finishing ghaghra and jama hems
Gota Patti Small leaf shapes made of gota
Gote The bottom part of a farshi paijama which is made up of three sections, often richly embellished
Holi A lively and colourful festival celebrated on the last day of the month of Phalgun to welcome the onset of spring
Ikkat The name of the pattern created by the tie-dyeing the weft and wrap threads before weaving which is a specially of Gujarat Orissa and Andhra Pradesh
Izarband The decorative drawstring at the waist of a lower garment, usually a ghaghra or a paijama with ornamented tasselled ends
Jaal An all over pattern in a printed or embroidered fabric
Jala A small wooden frame used by master craftsmen, on which threads are tied to form a grid of the wrap and weft outling the design of the weave
Jamakhana The storehouse for garments in the Mughal and other royal courts
Jamavar The trade name for the woven or embroidered Kashmir shawls
Jamdaani A weaving technique traditional to the town of Tanda, Jais and Dacca used to produce figured muslins
Jhoomar A jewelled hair ornament worn on the side of the head
Jhumka A bell-shaped piece of jewellery
Jutis Slip on shoes, usually elaborated embroidery and with unturned toes
Kalamkari Painted cloth (as a trade term it referred to both painted and printed cloths)
Kali A gored panel
Kalioyndar Paijama A wide bottomed paijama made up of several panels
Kameez A tunic
Kanchala - Kundal A type of earing
Kanchli A sleeveless bodice worn in Western India
Kanni A complex weaving technique originating in Kashmir (known in the West as the double twill-tapestry technique)
Khadi Fabric made of handspun yarns, symbol of India's fight for Independent
Kurta A loose, stitched garment worn by men and women, most commonly described as a tunic (also known as a kameez)
Kurti A short kurta usually worn by women a type of grass fiber)
Lahariya A pattern in which diagonal wavy stripes are formed by the fold-resist dyeing technique of the same name
Lehnga A skirt
Libaas An ensemble or dress
Mashru A medium weight wrap faced satin or twill fabric with silk wrap and cotton weft
Minakari Coloured enamel jewellery, borders or butis woven with different coloured silk to give the appearance of enamel
Mothra A criss-cross pattern obtained through fold-resist dyeing in woven fabrics the term
Moti A bead or pearl
Mulmul Cotton, usually in reference to Indian muslin, particularly the muslin woven in Bengal
Odhini A veil, usually 3m x 1m, worn by women with a ghaghra, kurti and kanchli, it covers the head and the right shoulder, is drawn across the body and either tucked into the waistband or left hanging in front
Pagri The common term for a turban
Paijama Drawstring trousers worn by men and women with many different styles
Paithani Cotton and silk sari produced in Paithan
Pallav The decorative border at one or both ends of a length of fabric usually of a sari, odhani or patka
Pashmina The wool made from the fleece of the underbelly of the rare Tibetan wild mountain goat
Patti A border or edging
Peshwaz A long high-waisted gown
Phulkari Folk embroidery typical of the Punjab
Poncha The ankle opening of a paijama, usually the salwar, which is often quilted or ornamented with decorative stitching
Purdah The practice of sequestering women, the flap of fabric in the angarkha that covers the chest, the pieces of fabric used to make up the cups of a choli
Sari An unstitched length of fabric up to 9 yds in length and 18 to 60 in width with a decorated end panel draped in a wide variety of styles
Shatoosh The fleece of the tibetan chiru antelope that is spun and woven into fine shawls
Shal A shawl
Salwar Paijama A baggy style of paijama tapered at the ankle worn mainly in the Punjab, Afghanistan and African garment
Shervani A formal knee-length coat fitted to the waist
Sinjaf The facing inside the hem of a garment
Sitara Tiny metal discs, often of gold or silver with a tiny hole at the centre
Tanchoi Figured silk with multiple supplementary weft threads, that create a heavy densly patterned fabric
Teej A festival celebrating conjugal love, held in Northern and western India in The month of Shravan
Tikka A forehead ornament also used to refer to a bindi
Tikki Metal discs used in zardozi embroidery
Topi A cap
Tussar A type of wild silk made in Eastern and Central India from hand spun yarns
Tikki / Tikki Embroidery Metal discs used in zardozi embroidery
Vastra Clothes
Zardozi Gold thread embroidery using metallic elements and threads, sometimes mirrors, precious or semi precious stones
Zari metal wrapped yarn used for zardozi embroidery
Why wedding ring should put on the fourth finger ?
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Stress Reliever!
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problems can there be greater than this one?"
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: " What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: " Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: " What ? At 2 am ? "
Husband to wife: " Yes, We used night clubs."
Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: " Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Stress Reliever # 7
"How was your blind date ? " a college student asked her roommate." Terrible ! " the roommate answered.
" He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that? "
" He was the original owner."
Tech Support#2
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and Iwrote'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can you see the 'OK' Button
displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____# ###
7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support :
Friday, April 13, 2007
Facts you never knew about SRK
When he was just four years of age, Shah Rukh happened to throw a rock at a neighborhood boy because of which the latter's teeth broke. Late at night that day, the child's father came to the house in an inebriated state while wielding a knife. Shah Rukh's father coolly opened the door and when this man threatened to kill his son for what he had done, he crosschecked with Shah Rukh as to whether or not he had committed the act of mischief. When the child confessed, the dad asked him to go out and explain himself to the man who was not only drunk but also armed. Shah Rukh had to go outside and apologize for his deed.
The college where he studied was Delhi University's Hans Raj College, and Shah Rukh did his Economics Honours from the institution between 1985-88. When Hans Raj celebrated its Golden Jubilee, the college gave away 17 shields to its alumni who had excelled in their lives and professions and Shah Rukh was one of them.
After graduating from Hans Raj, he went on to join Jamia Milia Islamia's Mass Communications Research Centre to do his masters in filmmaking and journalism.
Shah Rukh had a solid theatre background and had worked with an institution like Barry John in New Delhi.
Shah Rukh was, in fact uncomfortably possessive about his lady love (Gauri), whom he lovingly calls Gaurima. So much so that he would pick up a quarrel with her even if she let her hair down…literally. Finally, Gauri lost her cool and without informing Shah Rukh, came down to Bombay. Shah Rukh followed her to the huge city and kept looking for her around the beaches because of his awareness that she was attracted to them in a big way. Later, a cab guy advised him to go to Aksa Beach and Gorai Beach. After searching frantically, he managed to track her down when she was standing in the water! Isn't that filmi?
One of the reasons why Shah Rukh bought Mannat, his palatial bungalow, was since he wanted to have an exclusive prayer room. Shah Rukh says that if he were broke, he will sell everything except Mannat
Both the children, Aryan (13th November 1997) and Suhana (23rd May 2000) have been taught to revere the co-existence of Ganpati and Allah in the Khan household. How wonderfully they are being brought up manifests itself in the story that when Shah Rukh was having a critical neck surgery, Aryan went to the temple and said an Islamic prayer so that his father could get well soon.
Shahrukh Khan is a Muslim but celebrates Diwali and Christmas along with Eid every year. He keeps a Lakshmi Pooja every year in his office and at home. He even has a Christmas tree at home. From all the festivals Shahrukh's kids love Christmas the most.
Shahrukh Khan has the holy Quran Bismillah kept along with the idols of Indian Gods at his place. His kids pray to both the God's simultaneously.
Shahrukh Khan can be managed best only by his wife as she understands him the most. She is the only person who can command Shahrukh to do things. Infact Shahrukhs's daughter Suhana imitates Gauri Khan very well by saying in a strict voice, "Shahrukh, eat your food."
Shahrukh never asks anything for himself from God. It is always his family and his close people he asks for. But whenever he wants to ask for himself, he never goes to a temple but goes to his parent's grave. He believes that whatever he will ask there will be fulfilled and yes most of them have come true which makes Shahrukh's belief all the more strong.
Shahrukh requires a lot of his own space for himself and his near and dear ones understand that. Whenever Shahrukh is angry, he needs to be left alone or you will only make him angrier.
Shahrukh loves watching movies in the darkness of his car. He loves watching movies alone and peacefully.
Shahrukh is a complete game freak. In fact he turns everyone around him into a gaming freak. The latest game that Shahrukh is playing is Smackdown versus Raw which is a wrestling game. Shahrukh can't wait to get his hands on the new Play Station 3 as he is not an XBOX fan.
Shahrukh studied at St. Columbus School and he believes that it is the best school in the whole world not because he studied in it, but because he feels they are very disciplined.
Shahrukh still remembers his first fan who is a lady. She was his fan even before he became a film star or a famous televison star. She remembers him since his theater days. She shouted Shahrukh's name on the middle of the road when she spotted him. Shahrukh still cannot forget that moment.
For Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Shah Rukh had taken a signing amount of Rs 5,000 and did the entire film for Rs. 25,000.
Shah Rukh had signed a movie called Jadoo co-starring Raveena Tandon, Anupam Kher & Navneet Nishan to be directed by Pavan Kaul. But Shah Rukh refused to kiss Navneet who was playing a vampish role. Shah Rukh had promised himself that he would never kiss any actress on-screen. And, he has stuck to this till today.
Calcutta has a unique Shah Rukh Khan club that was founded by a Khan admirer Arnab Roy on 13th December 1995 after the release of DDLJ. The club established its own SRK museum in January 2002 and its members were thrilled when Shah Rukh himself visited them on 7th August 20.
SRK says...
On Marriage
On Gauri
I was eighteen and she was fourteen when we met. What I liked about her was that I didn't find it as difficult as I thought talking to a girl.
On Parents
My Father was very sweet, soft spoken man. He was the youngest freedom fighter for India actually. My mother was the opposite. She was outgoing and had a very attractive personality. She said I was like Dilip Kumar.
At Home
There are some unsaid rules. I will not make a phone call once I'm in the house. So you'll always see me making a phone call from the bathroom….. I close the door and then talk
On Mumbai
I think it's the greatest city in the world. It's very important to my life and to me. I'll always be thankful that Mumbai has given me a family, and actually Mumbai has given me a life.
On Acting
For me, acting is very spiritual. It combines as sorts of soulful, religious and spiritual things that people do.
On time off
I don't get excited going out but all my friends make fun that I keep saying that but I shop the most. I keep buying gadgets and stuff and I call them my "utterly useless shopping".
On fans photographing
The only time I find people invasive is when I am eating. When I'm eating I don't like people looking at me.
On time
I think time passes by very, very fast. I don't ever have time to grow old. It's so fast. I have this feeling that I am running a few days late in life.
Public persona
There has to be now a public face very clearly. And that public face is always smiling. And I'm tired. And I'm sometimes in a bad mood. But I cannot pass that onto people.
Wonderful Sentence!
Why?
You'll soon find out!!!
Read the sentence below carefully...
"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness".
This is a sentence where the Nth word is N letters long.
e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on
DEAF BOOKKEEPER
million bucks.
This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why
he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper
would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10
million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you
embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million
dollar is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't
tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzio's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger.
Don't ya just love lawyers?
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Bad Breath: Five Causes and Five Cures
Top Five Causes of Bad Breath
1. A dirty mouth. “Ninety percent of mouth odors come from mouth itself—either from the food you eat or bacteria that’s already there,” says Dr. Richard H. Price spokesman for American Dental Association. “Mouth odor is like any other body odor—the result of microbes living in the body giving off byproducts.” In the mouth, this means bacteria that normally live in the mouth interact with food particles, blood, tissue, etc., to create volatile (i.e., stinky) sulfur compounds. If you don’t clean properly, the bacteria build up, and next thing you know—that’s not toothpaste on your tongue.
2. A mouth out of balance. Certain mouth conditions can exacerbate bacterial growth and odor, such as gum disease and dry mouth. Gum disease causes bloody gums, creating more elements for those pesky bacteria to putrefy. But it is a dry mouth that is the more common cause of bad breath. Saliva helps flush out the mouth, keeping bacteria moving so they don’t settle down and multiply, while drier mouth is a breeding ground for bacteria. In spring and summer, allergy medications can dry you out; in winter, dry heat tends to be the culprit.
3. Stinky foods. If it stinks going in, chances are it’s going to stink coming out. The obvious offenders are onions, garlic, alcohol and tobacco. And foods don’t only create a stench in the mouth. “Plant oils are absorbed and the byproducts enter your bloodstream so you are actually breathing the odors out via your lungs three to four hours later,” says Jeannie Moloo, a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. [Full disclosure: Moloo is the author’s cousin.]
4. Not enough carbs. You look great after four weeks on Atkins, so how come you still can’t get a date? High-protein, low-carb diets cause your body to burn stored fats for fuel instead of carbs and can lead to a condition called ketosis. “As fat burns, ketones build up in the body, and some are released through breath,”explains Moloo. “Unfortunately ketones don’t smell particularly good.” And bad breath trumps six-pack abs.
5. Illness. Occasionally, bad breath can be a sign of a more serious illness. The most common systemic causes of bad breath are diabetes or GERD (or gastro esophageal reflux disease). Diabetes can also cause ketosis, and the resulting bad breath is sometimes one of first symptoms that lead to diagnosis. GERD is a backflow of acid from the stomach to the esophagus. Less common but possible are liver or kidney disease—when toxins from these organs are excreted through the lungs, causing bad breath.
Top Five Cures
1. Keep it clean. Gum, breath mints, mouthwash … these are all helpful stopgaps, but they won’t cure bad breath. The way to get rid of bad breath for most of us is to brush, floss and tongue scrape twice a day. Yes, for fresh breath, the key is tongue scraping. “You can brush and floss till the cows come home, but it won’t help unless you get way back,” says Price of the American Dental Association. A tongue scraper is available at most drugstores. Price swears it helped him when he was suffering from bad breath (not something you want in your dentist, he points out). “Now I smell like a petunia,” he says. “For most of us, brushing, flossing and tongue scraping twice a day will control bad breath.”
2. Keep it moist. The best way to keep the right saliva balance is to drink plenty of water or liquids. To prevent dry mouth in winter, use a humidifier. If you snore or suffer from postnasal drip, try saline nasal spray to keep nasal passages moist.
3. Watch what you eat. Avoiding the main offenders (onion, garlic, tobacco, coffee, etc.) is the best way to avoid food-related bad breath. Dietitian Moloo also cites research that suggests certain foods can help: “Two cups of tea a day can prevent bad breath for some. The polyphenols, a plant chemical in tea, may prevent growth of bacteria responsible for bad breath.” You can also chew parsley, which seems to curb offending smells from other foods and bacteria. And cranberries may eliminate offensive smells and make the bacteria less sticky, which makes plaque less likely to form. Price says sugarless gums that contain xylotol may kill some bacteria and help reduce plaque.
4. Eat some carbs. Apparently the only way to help the ketosis caused by low-carb diets is … to eat some carbs. Moloo recommends fruits, vegetables and whole grains over frosted doughnuts.
5. See your doctor. If tongue scraping and carbo-loading doesn’t do the trick, check with your doctor to see if he or she suspects a more serious cause. Diabetes, GERD or other diseases require specific diagnoses and treatments.
Good Taste: Top 5 Foods to Prevent Bad Breath
1. Chew on this. Move over parsley, there are some new halitosis-fighting herbs in town. “Coriander, spearmint, tarragon, eucalyptus, rosemary and cardamom are all good for fighting bad breath,” says Dr. Christine Gerbstadt, who has lectured on oral health. You can chew on fresh herbs or make tonics by steeping them in hot water (as a tea). These herbs make an excellent digestive as well—doubling the benefits of ending a meal this way.
101 Essential Freelancing Resources
SlimTimer - A Start/Stop little timer that tracks jobs on a main web interface
Billing Orchard - Electronic billing and invoicing software, starting at $14.95 per month
Proposal Kit - Proposal and contract management tools
HighRise - Track communication and conversations with leads, employees, clients, colleagues, vendors
My New Company - Legal and general start-up information
37signals Job Board - Mostly full-time design and programming jobs
Squarespace - Very nice publishing system for websites and blogs
Text Link Ads - Text ads to sell your wares and improve your traffic ranking
Creative Public - Useful site for anyone starting a freelance graphic or web design career. A $49.95 fee buys unlimited access to forms, manuals, pricing guides, contracts etc