Take a Turn!!!!!!

The bend in the road is not the end of the road

unless

you refuse to take the turn .

No Bird Soars Too High If He Soars His Own Wings

Birds of Paradise ( Papua New Guinea)

Four Types of 'Male Sex

A famous sexologist was giving a lecture in front of a big crowd.

"There are 4 kinds of men when it comes to sex.

The first kind does it every day. You can usually recognize him by his
masculine body and the constant smile on his face.
Do we have anyone like this in the audience?"

A man got up from the audience and he fitted the description: Big firm
body with a smile on his face.

"Then there is the second kind. They have sex once a week.
They also have a generally happy mood, and look pretty good,
but of course not as good as the first kind.
Is there any one of them here tonight?".

A second man got up, and he too fitted the description.

"The third kind do it once a month.
They are chubby and usually grumpy.
Anyone of them here?".

The man that raised from his chair looked exactly like the expert claimed.

"And then there is the 4th kind. They do it once a year. They usually
have a big belly, but the thing that is most typical is that they are
in a constant state of depression.

I know it would be hard for him to admit,
but if there is one of those in the audience, please rise".
A fat and short man stood up, but in contrary to the experts
prediction, he looked very cheerful.

"You do it only once a year?", the expert asked.
"Yes, only once a year".

"So why are you so happy?", demanded the expert.
"Well", said the man, cheeringly, "Tonight is the night!"...

Why Indian Mom's r the best

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that
he is going to get married.

He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess
which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they chat for a while.

Later, he says,"Okay Ma,guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

" That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, " I don't like her " ....!!!!!!!!!! ;-)

Christmas Dating Disasters

If misery does love company, or if you just need a jolt of laughter, check out this list of five outrageous Christmas gaffes, and get some tips for recovering in case you commit them, too.

And, just as a point of reference, in my family the gaffe of the century occurred when my date, someone I’d been seeing a few months, came over a few days before Christmas. We were all drinking eggnog, and he kept offering to fill empty glasses. We thought he was being mannerly. It wasn’t until he passed out in the bathroom that we surmised he’d been adding a splash of whisky to his nog each time he went to refill a glass. You better believe he learned his lesson, and that was the end of his nog consumption that Christmas season.

Christmas gaffe: Heather from London, had just started dating someone before the Christmas. “When I went over on Christmas Eve, his parents had gotten me a little gift. Nothing big, but I hadn’t brought them anything. His mum pulled me up on it! She said something like, ‘Oh, I’m sorry for getting you something. I assumed you two were in the type of relationship where you would do the same.’”

Tip: If you’re a guest, always take something, even if it’s just cocktail napkins. The gesture is more important than the gift.

Christmas gaffe: Here’s another reason why gift-wrapping shouldn’t be saved till the last minute. Mark from Oxford admits he isn’t the most organised guy. “I was in a rush before Christmas and quickly wrapped presents for the woman I was dating and her parents,” he recalls. “I’d gotten her a gift card to a fancy lingerie store, and her parents gift cards from their favourite shops. Unfortunately, I put the wrong card on the presents, so she got a card from a fishing shop, her mum got the lingerie. At least her dad didn’t mind his card from the bookstore.”

Tip: “Ever since that day, I’ve wrapped presents and put the cards on immediately,” Mark notes. Identifying gifts properly becomes especially important, we note, when lingerie is involved.

Christmas gaffe: “My new man’s parents announced they’d be making an impromptu visit, the night of my annual Christmas dinner party,” recalls Dana from Birmingham “There’s always room at my table, so I invited them to attend.” Too bad no one mentioned that the parents in question didn’t eat pork for religious reasons. “Imagine my horror (and theirs) when they saw me getting ready to bring out pork loin. Luckily, I had a couple of filets I had in the freezer and dinner was only served 30 minutes late.”

Tip: “From now on,” Dana says, “I always ask about dietary restrictions before guests come over!” And if you or your relatives are the ones with the dietary restrictions, by all means, speak up.

Christmas gaffe: A lively debate is one thing… getting up on a soapbox is another, as Susie from Glasgow found out. She thinks Christmas is an over-rated Christmas. “I was ranting against the commercialisation of Christmas, railing against people who lavish tons of gifts on their families and friends,” she says. “The bloke I was dating got really quiet and when I asked what was wrong, he told me I’d just described how his family celebrates Christmas and that it was his favourite holiday.”

Tip: “My Grandma was right,” Susie says. “Never talk about religion or religious observances!” especially if you have a strong and/or negative opinion. Christmas times just aren’t the right time to air those beliefs.

Christmas gaffe: You might want to be on your best behaviour, especially when it comes to your table manners, at this time. “I thought people only cared about this on Seinfeld, but I got caught double-dipping at my date’s Christmas party and she flipped,” says Dave from York. “She threw out the dip and apologised to her friends. I decided it was time to leave, the party and the relationship.”

Tip: OK, OK: So Dave’s girlfriend perhaps had an unnaturally strong reaction. But that said, you can’t go wrong being overly cautious about table manners. Never re-dip after you take a bite. Don’t commit a boarding-house reach right across the table to get at those biscuits. And commenting that you’re so full you could burst after a big Christmas meal probably won’t win you brownie points, either.

Learn from these people’s miscues and hopefully you’ll avoid making any embarrassing mistakes during your Christmas interactions. Here’s to a season full of harmony and good cheer!

Management Funda

Raj A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of thestreet. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this *&*!*&!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committing
to the client.

Live Landing

You have seen photograph of plane, landing at St.martin's Airport in
the Carribean island.
Now you can see them in video recording.

747 Landing You can jump up and almost touch the damn thing.

Train running through Bangkok Market.

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