Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence:
"I hit him in the eye yesterday."
The word is "ONLY".
The Message:
1.ONLY I hit him in the eye yesterday. (No one else did.)
2.I ONLY hit him in the eye yesterday. (Did not slap him.)
3.I hit ONLY him in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit others.)
4.I hit him ONLY in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit outside the eye.)
5.I hit him in ONLY the eye yesterday. (Not other organs.)
6.I hit him in the ONLY eye yesterday. (He doesn't have another eye..)
7.I hit him in the eye ONLY yesterday. (Not today.)
8.I hit him in the eye yesterday ONLY. (Did not wait for today.)....
This is the beauty of English language . ..
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, September 08, 2011
Pearls of Wisdom - Indisputable Laws
1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7.Law of the Bath- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8.Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11..Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14.Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.
15.Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7.Law of the Bath- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8.Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11..Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14.Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.
15.Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
Ten commandments to follow in life for true Success.
1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.
2] So a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.
3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.
4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!
7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE.
2] So a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.
3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.
4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!
7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
A Question of Balance One-Sided Relationships
Relationships can become out of balance and one-sided if we don’t occasionally check in with each other.
One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more.
However, there are also relationships in which the balance has always felt one-sided. You may have a friend whom you like, but you have begun to notice that the conversation is always about their life and their problems and never about yours. You may also have a friend who seems to require an inordinate amount of support from you but who is unable or unwilling to give much in return. Over time, these relationships can be draining and unsatisfying. One option is simply to end the relationship, or let it fade out naturally. Another option is to communicate to your friend that you would like to create a more equal balance in which your concerns also get some airtime. They may be taken aback at first, but if they are able to hear you, your friendship will become that much more sincere. They may even thank you for revealing a pattern that is probably sabotaging more than one relationship in their life.
A third option is to simply accept the relationship as it is. There are many one-sided relationships that actually work. One example of this is a mentor relationship in which you are learning from someone. Another example is a relationship in which you are helping someone who is sick, disabled, or otherwise needy. In these instances, you can simply be grateful that you are able to help and be helped, trusting that the balance of give and take will even out in the big picture of your life.
One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more.
However, there are also relationships in which the balance has always felt one-sided. You may have a friend whom you like, but you have begun to notice that the conversation is always about their life and their problems and never about yours. You may also have a friend who seems to require an inordinate amount of support from you but who is unable or unwilling to give much in return. Over time, these relationships can be draining and unsatisfying. One option is simply to end the relationship, or let it fade out naturally. Another option is to communicate to your friend that you would like to create a more equal balance in which your concerns also get some airtime. They may be taken aback at first, but if they are able to hear you, your friendship will become that much more sincere. They may even thank you for revealing a pattern that is probably sabotaging more than one relationship in their life.
A third option is to simply accept the relationship as it is. There are many one-sided relationships that actually work. One example of this is a mentor relationship in which you are learning from someone. Another example is a relationship in which you are helping someone who is sick, disabled, or otherwise needy. In these instances, you can simply be grateful that you are able to help and be helped, trusting that the balance of give and take will even out in the big picture of your life.
Funny Acronyms
Funny Acronyms
Whenever you take the first letters of a phrase or title, you are bound two occasionally come up with some funny acronyms. Also, some acronyms stand for an amusing title or phrase. Here is a sampling of funny acronyms about cars:
BUICK: Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVY: Can Hear Every Valve Yell, Cannot Have Expensive Vehicle Yet
DODGE: Drains Or Drops Grease Everywhere, Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
FORD: Fix or Repair Daily, Found On Road Dead, Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
HOLDEN: Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
HONDA: Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP: Just Expect Every Problem
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along, My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
TOYOTA: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
More Silly Acronyms
The next set of funny acronyms are alphabetized and cover many topics:
ADD: Americans For Donald Duck
BADD: Bikers Against Dumb Drivers
BITE: Beer In The Evening
CAPER: Conspiracy Against Professors Evading Reality
DUH: Don't Understand, Huh?
The next group of acronyms is intriguing. They are all countries:
CHINA: Come Home I Need Affection
ENGLAND: Every New Guy Leaves After Ninety Days
FRANCE: Friendships Remain And Never Can End
HOLLAND: Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
INDIA: Indians Never Delay In Anything
ITALY: I Trust And Love You
NEPAL: Never Ever Part As Lovers
Additional Acronym Fun
For a final twist, here are some acronyms for the word “ACRONYM”:
Alphabetical Code for Remembering Odd Names You Make up
A Coded Rendition Of Names Yielding Meaning
A Contrived Reduction Of Nouns, Yielding Mnemonics
Another Cryptic Rendition Of Nomenclature You Memorize
OK, some of those were not really funny, just interesting. If you want to try it yourself, just pick a word and make up a word for each letter.
Funny Abbreviations and Initialisms
Just for fun, here are some funny abbreviations and initialisms. Most of them do not make a word but are funny nonetheless. These are abbreviations that were found on hospital notes:
ABITHAD: Another Blithering Idiot - Thinks He's A Doctor
FFFF: Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent
FF or FFY: Frequent Flyer - A patient who returns to a medical provider for everything
GOMER: Get Out of My Emergency Room
SALT: Same As Last Time
TEETH: Tried Everything Else; Try Homeopathy
TEON: Two Eyes One Nose
TMB: Too Many Birthdays
TTGA: Told To Go Away
Whenever you take the first letters of a phrase or title, you are bound two occasionally come up with some funny acronyms. Also, some acronyms stand for an amusing title or phrase. Here is a sampling of funny acronyms about cars:
BUICK: Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVY: Can Hear Every Valve Yell, Cannot Have Expensive Vehicle Yet
DODGE: Drains Or Drops Grease Everywhere, Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
FORD: Fix or Repair Daily, Found On Road Dead, Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
HOLDEN: Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
HONDA: Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP: Just Expect Every Problem
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along, My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
TOYOTA: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
More Silly Acronyms
The next set of funny acronyms are alphabetized and cover many topics:
ADD: Americans For Donald Duck
BADD: Bikers Against Dumb Drivers
BITE: Beer In The Evening
CAPER: Conspiracy Against Professors Evading Reality
DUH: Don't Understand, Huh?
The next group of acronyms is intriguing. They are all countries:
CHINA: Come Home I Need Affection
ENGLAND: Every New Guy Leaves After Ninety Days
FRANCE: Friendships Remain And Never Can End
HOLLAND: Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
INDIA: Indians Never Delay In Anything
ITALY: I Trust And Love You
NEPAL: Never Ever Part As Lovers
Additional Acronym Fun
For a final twist, here are some acronyms for the word “ACRONYM”:
Alphabetical Code for Remembering Odd Names You Make up
A Coded Rendition Of Names Yielding Meaning
A Contrived Reduction Of Nouns, Yielding Mnemonics
Another Cryptic Rendition Of Nomenclature You Memorize
OK, some of those were not really funny, just interesting. If you want to try it yourself, just pick a word and make up a word for each letter.
Funny Abbreviations and Initialisms
Just for fun, here are some funny abbreviations and initialisms. Most of them do not make a word but are funny nonetheless. These are abbreviations that were found on hospital notes:
ABITHAD: Another Blithering Idiot - Thinks He's A Doctor
FFFF: Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent
FF or FFY: Frequent Flyer - A patient who returns to a medical provider for everything
GOMER: Get Out of My Emergency Room
SALT: Same As Last Time
TEETH: Tried Everything Else; Try Homeopathy
TEON: Two Eyes One Nose
TMB: Too Many Birthdays
TTGA: Told To Go Away
Guy's side of the Story
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally the guys' side of the story.
We always hear the rules From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it your self.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, cars or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Finally the guys' side of the story.
We always hear the rules From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it your self.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, cars or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Man, wife and dog.
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most Unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one.
About 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man Walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in Single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb
you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first One asks in excitement, "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Join the queue
About 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man Walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in Single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb
you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first One asks in excitement, "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Join the queue
Necklace of Happiness with five diamonds:
1. NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY.................
2. TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU, NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE.......................
3. NEVER SEARCH YOUR HAPPINESS IN OTHERS WHICH WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ALONE, RATHER SEARCH IT IN YOURSELF YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE LEFT ALONE......................
4. ALWAYS HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN LIFE. THERE IS SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERY PERSON. EVEN A STOPPED WATCH IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY...................................
5. HAPPINESS ALWAYS LOOKS SMALL WHEN WE HOLD IT IN OUR HANDS. BUT WHEN WE LEARN TO SHARE IT, WE REALIZE HOW BIG AND PRECIOUS IT IS! ................
2. TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU, NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE.......................
3. NEVER SEARCH YOUR HAPPINESS IN OTHERS WHICH WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ALONE, RATHER SEARCH IT IN YOURSELF YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE LEFT ALONE......................
4. ALWAYS HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN LIFE. THERE IS SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERY PERSON. EVEN A STOPPED WATCH IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY...................................
5. HAPPINESS ALWAYS LOOKS SMALL WHEN WE HOLD IT IN OUR HANDS. BUT WHEN WE LEARN TO SHARE IT, WE REALIZE HOW BIG AND PRECIOUS IT IS! ................
Love, Wealth & Success
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied.. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
"We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Lovefor all , there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied.. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
"We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Lovefor all , there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
Financial Management
A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at ‘Taj’ yesterday.
How? The other beggar asked.
First beggar: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.
I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-
And enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.
The Taj manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.
I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.
A wonderful example of financial management indeed
How? The other beggar asked.
First beggar: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.
I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-
And enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.
The Taj manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.
I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.
A wonderful example of financial management indeed
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
A Heart-moving Example of General Human Thinking
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked
her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is
How the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked
her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is
How the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Know Where You Are and Where You Want To Go
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
Not very long." they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives.
In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?"
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards ? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, “answered the tourist, laughing.”When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really?? And after that???" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is: ....... Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there!!
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
Not very long." they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives.
In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?"
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards ? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, “answered the tourist, laughing.”When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really?? And after that???" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is: ....... Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there!!
Confession BOX
A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry
wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on
the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to
have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in:
"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to
confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more
inviting than it used to be".
The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry
wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on
the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to
have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in:
"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to
confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more
inviting than it used to be".
The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".
Paraprosdokian for everyone
PARAPROSDOKIANS
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. Ok, so now enjoy!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10.. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11.. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12.. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13.. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14.. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15.. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16.. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17.. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18.. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
19.. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20.. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
21.. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22.. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23.. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
24.. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25.. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
27.. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
28.. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
30.. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Quotes
I am so clever that sometimes I dont understand
a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
It is great cleverness to know when to conceal
ones cleverness.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Cleverness is not wisdom.
-Euripides
Cleverness is serviceable for everything, sufficient for nothing.
-Henri Frederic Amiel
Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else
unless it is an enemy.
-Elbert Einstein
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
-Elbert Hubbard
Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness,
but come down into the green valleys of silliness.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
The height of cleverness is being able to conceal it.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth
more than twice their weight of cleverness.
-Thomas Henry Huxley
Too great cleverness is but deceptive delicacy,
true delicacy is the most substantial cleverness.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
-Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
-Henri Frederic Amiel
It is little that one gains by cleverness.
-Unknown
Many of the greatest men have owed their success to industry
rather than to cleverness.
-John Lubbock
The bold are helpless without cleverness.
-Euripides
The obstinacy of cleverness and reason is nothing
to the obstinacy of folly and inanity.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe
a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
It is great cleverness to know when to conceal
ones cleverness.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Cleverness is not wisdom.
-Euripides
Cleverness is serviceable for everything, sufficient for nothing.
-Henri Frederic Amiel
Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else
unless it is an enemy.
-Elbert Einstein
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
-Elbert Hubbard
Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness,
but come down into the green valleys of silliness.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
The height of cleverness is being able to conceal it.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth
more than twice their weight of cleverness.
-Thomas Henry Huxley
Too great cleverness is but deceptive delicacy,
true delicacy is the most substantial cleverness.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
-Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
-Henri Frederic Amiel
It is little that one gains by cleverness.
-Unknown
Many of the greatest men have owed their success to industry
rather than to cleverness.
-John Lubbock
The bold are helpless without cleverness.
-Euripides
The obstinacy of cleverness and reason is nothing
to the obstinacy of folly and inanity.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe
Somethings for which we forget to be Thankful!
I Am Thankful :
For The Wife
Who Says It's "More Sadam" Tonight, Because She Is Home With Me, And Not Out With Someone Else.
For The Husband
Who Is On The Sofa Being A Couch Potato, Because He Is Home With Me And Not Out At The Bars.
For The Teenager
Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes Because It Means She Is At Home, Not On The Streets.
For The Taxes I Pay
Because It Means I Am Employed.
For The Mess To Clean After A Party
Because It Means I Have Been Surrounded By Friends.
For The Clothes That Fit A Little Too Snug
Because It Means I Have Enough To Eat.
For My Shadow That Watches Me Work
Because It Means I Am Out In The Sunshine
For A Lawn That Needs Mowing,
Windows That Need Cleaning, And Gutters That Need Fixing Because It Means I Have A Home.
For All The Complaining
I Hear About The Government Because It Means We Have Freedom Of Speech.
For The Parking Spot
I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking And I Have Been Blessed With Transportation.
For My Huge Electricity Bill
Because It Means I Have Light In The Dark.
For The Lady Behind Me In Temple
Who Sings Off Key Because It Means I Can Hear.
For The Pile Of Laundry And Ironing
Because It Means I Have Clothes To Wear.
For Weariness And Aching Muscles
At The End Of The Day Because It Means I Have Been Capable Of Working Hard.
For The Alarm That Goes Off
In The Early Morning Hours Because It Means I Am Alive.
For The Wife
Who Says It's "More Sadam" Tonight, Because She Is Home With Me, And Not Out With Someone Else.
For The Husband
Who Is On The Sofa Being A Couch Potato, Because He Is Home With Me And Not Out At The Bars.
For The Teenager
Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes Because It Means She Is At Home, Not On The Streets.
For The Taxes I Pay
Because It Means I Am Employed.
For The Mess To Clean After A Party
Because It Means I Have Been Surrounded By Friends.
For The Clothes That Fit A Little Too Snug
Because It Means I Have Enough To Eat.
For My Shadow That Watches Me Work
Because It Means I Am Out In The Sunshine
For A Lawn That Needs Mowing,
Windows That Need Cleaning, And Gutters That Need Fixing Because It Means I Have A Home.
For All The Complaining
I Hear About The Government Because It Means We Have Freedom Of Speech.
For The Parking Spot
I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking And I Have Been Blessed With Transportation.
For My Huge Electricity Bill
Because It Means I Have Light In The Dark.
For The Lady Behind Me In Temple
Who Sings Off Key Because It Means I Can Hear.
For The Pile Of Laundry And Ironing
Because It Means I Have Clothes To Wear.
For Weariness And Aching Muscles
At The End Of The Day Because It Means I Have Been Capable Of Working Hard.
For The Alarm That Goes Off
In The Early Morning Hours Because It Means I Am Alive.
Mistakes and Mistakes
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a New Style
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a New Path
If an engineer makes a mistake,
It is a New Venture
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a New Generation
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a New Law
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a New Invetion
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a New Fashion
If a teacher makes a mistake,
It is a New Theory
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a Mistake Only
It's a New Style
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a New Path
If an engineer makes a mistake,
It is a New Venture
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a New Generation
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a New Law
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a New Invetion
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a New Fashion
If a teacher makes a mistake,
It is a New Theory
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a Mistake Only
Parents: Old Age Is A Second Childhood
(Ref: Narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students during a Seminar on Human Relations)
My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same.
In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air.
The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.
As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.
When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.
But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true.
Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc.
Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school.
Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc.
But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.
Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering.
Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.
Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.
Just because they are old, does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too..
Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.
Live ur life - Don't Miss it
This is amazing; Randy Pausch-he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind.
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "Guide to a Better Life" for his wife and children to follow. May you be blessed by his insight.
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don't over do; keep your limits.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15. Call your family often.
16. Each day give something good to others.
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
20. What other people think of you is none of your business.
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything.
24. Do the right things.
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
27. The best is yet to come.
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
29. When you’re awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with. Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "Guide to a Better Life" for his wife and children to follow. May you be blessed by his insight.
POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don't over do; keep your limits.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15. Call your family often.
16. Each day give something good to others.
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
20. What other people think of you is none of your business.
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything.
24. Do the right things.
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
27. The best is yet to come.
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
29. When you’re awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with. Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.
EYES
Do you know the relation between two eyes?
They never see each other....... ... BUT
1. They blink together.
2. They move together.
3. They cry together.
4. They see things together.
5. They sleep together.
They share a very deep bonded relationship
However, when they see a woman, one will blink and another will not.
Moral of the story:
Woman can break any kind of relationship! !!
They never see each other....... ... BUT
1. They blink together.
2. They move together.
3. They cry together.
4. They see things together.
5. They sleep together.
They share a very deep bonded relationship
However, when they see a woman, one will blink and another will not.
Moral of the story:
Woman can break any kind of relationship! !!
Saturday, September 03, 2011
What goes Around usually comes Around
This is a true story that had happened in 1892 at Stanford University. Its moral is still relevant today.
A young, 18 year old student was struggling to pay his fees. He was
An orphan, and not knowing where to turn for money, he came up with
a bright idea. A friend and he decided to host a musical concert on
Campus to raise money for their education.
They reached out to the great pianist Ignacy J. Paderewski. His
Manager demanded a guaranteed fee of $2,000 for the piano recital. A
Deal was struck. And the boys began to work to make the concert a
Success.
The big day arrived. Paderewski performed at Stanford. But
Unfortunately, they had not managed to sell enough tickets. The
Total collection was only $1,600. Disappointed, they went to
Paderewski and explained their plight. They gave him the entire
$1,600, plus a cheque for the balance of $400. They promised to
Honor the cheque soonest possible.
"No" said Paderewski. "This is not acceptable" He tore up the
Cheque, returned the $1,600 and told the boys "Here's the $1,600.
Please deduct whatever expenses you have incurred. Keep the money
You need for your fees. And just give me whatever is left" The boys
Were surprised, and thanked him profusely.
It was a small act of kindness. But it clearly marked out Paderewski
As a great human being.
Why should he help two people he did not Even know?
We all come across situations like these in our lives.
And most of us only think "If I help them, what would happen to me?"
The truly great people think, "If I don't help them, what will
Happen to them?" They don't do it expecting something in return.
They do it because they feel it's the right thing to do.
Paderewski later went on to become the Prime Minister of Poland. He
Was a great leader, but unfortunately when the World War began,
Poland was ravaged. There were over 1.5 million people starving in
His country, and no money to feed them.
Paderewski did not know where to turn for help. He reached out to
The US Food and Relief Administration for help.
The head was a man called Herbert Hoover - who later went on to
Become the US President. Hoover agreed to help and quickly shipped
Tons of food grains to fee the starving Polish people. A calamity
Was averted.
Paderewski was relieved. He decided to go across to meet Hoover and
Personally thank him. When Paderewski began to thank Hoover for his
Noble gesture, Hoover quickly interjected and said, "You shouldn't
Be thanking me, Mr. Prime Minister. You may not remember this, but
Several years ago, you helped two young students go through college
In the US. I was one of them."
A young, 18 year old student was struggling to pay his fees. He was
An orphan, and not knowing where to turn for money, he came up with
a bright idea. A friend and he decided to host a musical concert on
Campus to raise money for their education.
They reached out to the great pianist Ignacy J. Paderewski. His
Manager demanded a guaranteed fee of $2,000 for the piano recital. A
Deal was struck. And the boys began to work to make the concert a
Success.
The big day arrived. Paderewski performed at Stanford. But
Unfortunately, they had not managed to sell enough tickets. The
Total collection was only $1,600. Disappointed, they went to
Paderewski and explained their plight. They gave him the entire
$1,600, plus a cheque for the balance of $400. They promised to
Honor the cheque soonest possible.
"No" said Paderewski. "This is not acceptable" He tore up the
Cheque, returned the $1,600 and told the boys "Here's the $1,600.
Please deduct whatever expenses you have incurred. Keep the money
You need for your fees. And just give me whatever is left" The boys
Were surprised, and thanked him profusely.
It was a small act of kindness. But it clearly marked out Paderewski
As a great human being.
Why should he help two people he did not Even know?
We all come across situations like these in our lives.
And most of us only think "If I help them, what would happen to me?"
The truly great people think, "If I don't help them, what will
Happen to them?" They don't do it expecting something in return.
They do it because they feel it's the right thing to do.
Paderewski later went on to become the Prime Minister of Poland. He
Was a great leader, but unfortunately when the World War began,
Poland was ravaged. There were over 1.5 million people starving in
His country, and no money to feed them.
Paderewski did not know where to turn for help. He reached out to
The US Food and Relief Administration for help.
The head was a man called Herbert Hoover - who later went on to
Become the US President. Hoover agreed to help and quickly shipped
Tons of food grains to fee the starving Polish people. A calamity
Was averted.
Paderewski was relieved. He decided to go across to meet Hoover and
Personally thank him. When Paderewski began to thank Hoover for his
Noble gesture, Hoover quickly interjected and said, "You shouldn't
Be thanking me, Mr. Prime Minister. You may not remember this, but
Several years ago, you helped two young students go through college
In the US. I was one of them."
Minimize your Fear
let me share what I do to minimize my fear and to be able to move from feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed into taking action and moving forward.
1. What is the worst that could happen?
I like this very practical exercise as step number one.
So ask yourself this question. Really think about. Don't just think about it for a few seconds. Sit down with a pen and piece of paper, your laptop or cellphone. Write it all out and think about what the realistic worst-case scenario would be.
Then write down a plan for how you can come back from such a scenario.
This step brings clarity, defuses fuzzy fears and helps you realize that you can most often bounce back pretty quickly even if the worst-case scenario somehow becomes reality.
If that only works to a degree move on to the next step
2. Share your fear with someone.
By sharing your fear you can relieve inner pressure. By just keeping it on the inside it's easy to build it up into this massive nightmare and extremely dangerous thing.
By sharing and by getting some input from a levelheaded friend or family member he or she can help you to alleviate the fear and inner pressure. And you can gain a much healthier perspective on things again.
If you don't have someone to share it with or if that only works partly too then move on to
3. Accept the fear.
It is a natural impulse to try to deny the fear when shows up in your life. Perhaps you try to not think about, you try to push it away. Or you tell yourself that you need to focus like a laser beam on the positive.
I have found that in many cases it is actually better to just accept that fear or whatever is left of it after having worked through step #1 and #2 – is here right now (although it can be hard to sometimes convince your brain that this is a good option as it wants to deny or reject what is).
By accepting that you feel this way you stop feeding more energy into the fear and you stop making it strong. After a few minutes of fully taking in this uncomfortable feeling and accepting it then it starts to lose steam. It just seems to float away and you feel more open and relieved feelings bubbling up within.
4. Tap into curiosity and focus on the upsides.
By now, most of those fearful feelings are often pretty small and they tend come and go. You have processed much of that inner tension and resistance.
So you are now at a good point to start focusing on why you want to move towards what you have feared and to open your mind to what you can find out there.
Take out the pen and paper and ask yourself:
What is the opportunity in this situation?
What are the potential upsides I want and can have by taking these actions?
What are the potential upsides in one year if I start moving on this path? And in five years?
And how will life be in five years if I continue on the path I am now?
The answer when it comes to what you eat for lunch or if you want to have a new hobby may simply be that life becomes more fun, healthy, fulfilling and filled with newness and more surprises.
The answer when it comes to taking action to make a date happen, to get a new job or to take another direction in college could be that your life changes completely.
5. Take a small step forward. Take it slowly if you like.
You don't have to go all in at once in many cases. Think about how you can move in small steps and slowly towards what you want. Just dip your toes in at first if that feels more comfortable. The most important thing is that you start moving and that you take action, not how fast or how much action you take at first.
If you for example want to start your own business work on that in the evening while still working at your day job or staying in school. Don't let thinking like "I have to go all in and take huge risks" hold you back.
Or if you want to try something new today just tell yourself that:
Just for today I will try [insert something you want to try]!
You just have to do it today. Not ever again after today. You are not signing up for some huge commitment.
Tomorrow you may continue on that new path. Or you may not.
By not making this into a huge thing you have do but instead just a small step, that you can take and get done as slowly as you like, it becomes so much easier to do what is most important at first: to put yourself in motion.
Then, along the way, you can take bigger leaps if you like and speed things up. You will learn through successes and failures (and realize that you won't die if things don't go your way all the time). You will quit some things and continue doing other things.
But first, make it easy on yourself to take the first step.
1. What is the worst that could happen?
I like this very practical exercise as step number one.
So ask yourself this question. Really think about. Don't just think about it for a few seconds. Sit down with a pen and piece of paper, your laptop or cellphone. Write it all out and think about what the realistic worst-case scenario would be.
Then write down a plan for how you can come back from such a scenario.
This step brings clarity, defuses fuzzy fears and helps you realize that you can most often bounce back pretty quickly even if the worst-case scenario somehow becomes reality.
If that only works to a degree move on to the next step
2. Share your fear with someone.
By sharing your fear you can relieve inner pressure. By just keeping it on the inside it's easy to build it up into this massive nightmare and extremely dangerous thing.
By sharing and by getting some input from a levelheaded friend or family member he or she can help you to alleviate the fear and inner pressure. And you can gain a much healthier perspective on things again.
If you don't have someone to share it with or if that only works partly too then move on to
3. Accept the fear.
It is a natural impulse to try to deny the fear when shows up in your life. Perhaps you try to not think about, you try to push it away. Or you tell yourself that you need to focus like a laser beam on the positive.
I have found that in many cases it is actually better to just accept that fear or whatever is left of it after having worked through step #1 and #2 – is here right now (although it can be hard to sometimes convince your brain that this is a good option as it wants to deny or reject what is).
By accepting that you feel this way you stop feeding more energy into the fear and you stop making it strong. After a few minutes of fully taking in this uncomfortable feeling and accepting it then it starts to lose steam. It just seems to float away and you feel more open and relieved feelings bubbling up within.
4. Tap into curiosity and focus on the upsides.
By now, most of those fearful feelings are often pretty small and they tend come and go. You have processed much of that inner tension and resistance.
So you are now at a good point to start focusing on why you want to move towards what you have feared and to open your mind to what you can find out there.
Take out the pen and paper and ask yourself:
What is the opportunity in this situation?
What are the potential upsides I want and can have by taking these actions?
What are the potential upsides in one year if I start moving on this path? And in five years?
And how will life be in five years if I continue on the path I am now?
The answer when it comes to what you eat for lunch or if you want to have a new hobby may simply be that life becomes more fun, healthy, fulfilling and filled with newness and more surprises.
The answer when it comes to taking action to make a date happen, to get a new job or to take another direction in college could be that your life changes completely.
5. Take a small step forward. Take it slowly if you like.
You don't have to go all in at once in many cases. Think about how you can move in small steps and slowly towards what you want. Just dip your toes in at first if that feels more comfortable. The most important thing is that you start moving and that you take action, not how fast or how much action you take at first.
If you for example want to start your own business work on that in the evening while still working at your day job or staying in school. Don't let thinking like "I have to go all in and take huge risks" hold you back.
Or if you want to try something new today just tell yourself that:
Just for today I will try [insert something you want to try]!
You just have to do it today. Not ever again after today. You are not signing up for some huge commitment.
Tomorrow you may continue on that new path. Or you may not.
By not making this into a huge thing you have do but instead just a small step, that you can take and get done as slowly as you like, it becomes so much easier to do what is most important at first: to put yourself in motion.
Then, along the way, you can take bigger leaps if you like and speed things up. You will learn through successes and failures (and realize that you won't die if things don't go your way all the time). You will quit some things and continue doing other things.
But first, make it easy on yourself to take the first step.
DEFINITIONS DIFFERENTLY MADE
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read
COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
An invention to bring an end to all inventions
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read
COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
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