Watch U'r Tongue

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
over at him and asks the question....

WIFE : "What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND : "Definitely not!"

WIFE : "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND : "Of course I do."

WIFE : "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND : "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE : "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND : (makes audible groan)

WIFE : "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND : "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE : "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND : "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE : "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND : "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE : "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND : "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE : "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND : "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE : "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND : "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE : -- silence --

HUSBAND : "sh*t."