Is it true love or just lust?

Is there a dividing line between love and lust or does one simply mean the other? Does true love actually exist or is love just a fancy garb for lust? This debate had pitted idealists against the rationalists for ages now. We dig deeper.

Sameer Shastri, a teacher answers, “According to me, the original concept of love does not exist anymore; true love is simply a myth! Fast paced lives, getting bored of partners, swapping wives, getting into sexual relationships more easily -- all of that is no more a concept limited to the west. We seem to have fallen prey to it as well.”

Who has time for commitment and love? What is the cause of this? Has this become a trend or is there more to it? Putting things in perspective, Reema Singh, a relationship counsellor says, “Media most definitely is one of the biggest reasons for this change. In the past few years the influence of media on not just the youth but all, is unfathomable! Take our very own Bollywood, India’s prolific movie industry has shed decades of inhibition to show kissing and even lovemaking on screens. Movies are getting more overtly bold and even though these are certified as adult films, how many kids follow that and how many parent stop their kids? Television shows openly discuss sex in ways inconceivable a few years ago. This has a bad impact on children. Films and television are replete with instances of extra marital affairs, office affairs, wife swapping, one night stands, prostitution etc- in fact the more sensational the better. The result has to be a flippant attitude both towards the ideas of love and sex.”

“Today’s youth is running in the fast lane. They are financially independent, parental supervision is nil or if so definitely reduced, as parents themselves are busy working and looking after their needs sometimes due to a problem and sometimes due to pleasure.”

Nidhi Bhatia, a youth counsellor says, “Today, love and lust are being greatly misunderstood. Young boys and girls get in relationship having no proper sex education and knowledge about contraception. This is leading to other problems; survey conducted claim the age of puberty has gone down. Adding to that the daily titillation from the electronic and print media has increased hormonal flows at an early age and increased sexual desire not only in youngster but all ages.”

While denial and defensiveness can never work when it comes to sex, the need of the hour is sex education amongst youngsters with proper grounding in values and safety. They need to realise that love is all about personal bonds, close ties and companionship and lust is momentary. While it would be foolhardy to expect youngsters to keep away from experimenting, given the media onslaught, they have to be cautioned against confusing between love and physical needs. Also they need to be taught to respect and prioritise the emotion of love.

Courtesy
Roma Kapadia, India Syndicate