Munna Bhai Jokes!

PROFESSOR

Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?

MUNNA BHAI

Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

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CIRCUIT

Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.

MUNNA BHAI

Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT

Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.

MUNNA BHAI

Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT

Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

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MAMU

Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?

GIRL

Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada

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CIRCUIT

Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.

MUNNABHAI

Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?

CIRCUIT

Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

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MAMU

Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.

MUNNA BHAI

Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?

MAMU

Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga .

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PROFESSOR

Akal badi ki bhais?

MUNNA BHAI

Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

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MUNNA BHAI

Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?

CIRCUIT

Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI

Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?

CIRCUIT

Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

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Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.

ENGLISHMAN

What is this?

CIRCUIT

Bread India

Circuit then open the box of jalebi.

ENGLISHMAN

What is this?

CIRCUIT

Sweet India

With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ...

ENGLISHMAN

What is that?

CIRCUIT

Air IndiaSunita

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CIRCUIT

Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?

MAMU

Nehin.

CIRCUIT

To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

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MUNNA BHAI

Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.

MAMU

Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?

MUNNA BHAI

Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

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MUNNA BHAI

Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?

MAMU

B.A.

MUNNA BHAI

Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?

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MAMU

Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.

MAMU KA DOST

Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

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CIRCUIT

Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?

SHORT CIRCUIT

Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

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PRINCIPAL

Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI

Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu.