, then what are made in Hell?
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Interesting Comments!
, then what are made in Hell?
Similarities between KENNEDY and LINCOLN......Mind Blowing




Most Embarrassing Moment ... Hilarious ones
Third Place
"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home,but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend overfor a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard thetelephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I giveher a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call,we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of thestairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled"SURPRISE!". My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of myfriends were standing there ! My girlfriend and I were frozen to thespot in a state of shock and embarrassment ! for what seemed like aneternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again."
Second Place (a lady)
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to releasesome pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grabhold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she wouldbe punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voicejust as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandmathat I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee(dick) last night!".The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even thetellers stopped what they were doing ! I mustered the last of mydignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing thatI heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter."
And the Winner Is.....
This one actually happened at Harvard University in October last year.In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levelsfound in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If Iunderstand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in malesemen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to addmuch statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked,"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?". After a stunned silence, the wholeclass burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as sherealized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied),she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, andnever returned. However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was aclassic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn'ttaste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of yourtongue and not in the back of your throat!
Letter From Santa Singh to Bill Gates!
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
10.I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer' when you will provide the remaining items?
11. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
12. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
13. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
14. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Regards
Santa Singh
Wish of a Married Man!
A funeral coffin wasfollowed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of about 2000 men walking in a single line.The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen afuneral like this with so many of you walking in single line.
Whosefuneral is it?
"The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. " What happened to her? "The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. " He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also.
"A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog? "The man calmly replied "Join the queue."
Monday, March 19, 2007
Old & Modern Versions!
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks theant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fedwhile others are cold and starving. NDTV The grasshopper has no food or shelter sohe dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION...
BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in hisomfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding thatgrasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Governmentfor not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to thegrasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for promptsupport as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).
Opposition MP's stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. CPM in Keralaimmediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning ofthe winter.
Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educationalInsititutions & in Govt Services.
The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by theGovernment and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden' . Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UNGeneral Assembly.
MANY YEARS LATER...
The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollarcompany in silicon valley.100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Response to Welcome at the World's Parliament of Religions

Response to Welcome at the World's Parliament of Religions
Chicago , 11th September 1893
Sisters and Brothers of America, It fills my heart with joy unspeakable to rise in response to the warm and cordial welcome which you have given us. I thank you in the name of the most ancient order of monks in the world; I thank you in the name of the mother of religions; and I thank you in the name of the millions and millions of Hindu people of all classes and sects. My thanks, also, to some of the speakers on this platform who, referring to the delegates from the Orient, have told you that these men from far-off nations may well claim the honor of bearing to different lands the idea of toleration. I am proud to belong to a religion which has taught the world both tolerance and universal acceptance. We believe not only in universal toleration, but we accept all religions as true. I am proud to belong to a nation which has sheltered the persecuted and the refugees of all religions and all nations of the earth. I am proud to tell you that we have gathered in our bosom the purest remnant of the Israelites, who came to the southern India and took refuge with us in the very year in which their holy temple was shattered to pieces by Roman tyranny. I am proud to belong to the religion which has sheltered and is still fostering the remnant of the grand Zoroastrian nation. I will quote to you, brethren, a few lines from a hymn which I remember to have repeated from my earliest boyhood, which is every day repeated by millions of human beings:
As the different streams having there sources in different places all mingle their water in the sea, so, O Lord, the different paths which men take through different tendencies, various though they appear, crooked or straight, all lead to Thee.
The present convention, which is one of the most august assemblies ever held, is in itself a vindication, a declaration to the world, of the wonderful doctrine preached in the Gita:
Whosoever comes to Me, through whatsoever form, I reach him; all men are struggling through paths which in the end lead to Me.
Sectarianism, bigotry, and its horrible descendant, fanaticism, have long possessed this beautiful earth. They have filled the earth with violence, drenched it often and often with human blood, destroyed civilization, and sent whole nations to despair. Had it not been for these horrible demons, human society would be far more advanced than it is now? But their time is come; and I fervently hope that the bell that tolled this morning in honor of this convention may be the death-knell of all fanaticism, of all persecutions with the sword or with the pen, and of all uncharitable feelings between persons wending their way to the same goal.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Why Women Cry Easily!

One day, a young boy asked his mom.
"Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman" she told him.
"I dont understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's okay."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mom seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry finally, he put in a call to God.
When God got back to him, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?''
God answered, "When I made women, I decided she had to be special.
1.I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet her arms gentle enough to give comfort.
2.I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come, even from her own children.
3.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining.
4.I gave her sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her badly. She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fear.
5.I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults, and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
6.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife but some times tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed, It is her's to use whenever needed and is her only weakness."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
"When you see her cry, tell her how much u love her and all she does for everyone. And even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good."
"She is special!"
33 Facts about Guyz
*really very true...................
Girls r surely going to read it
*Belive it or not.......
1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about .
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow". ... so true.
10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
11. Guys love their moms.
12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
18. Guys are very open about themselves.
19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.
23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
24. Guys keep secrets that girls tell them.
25. Guys think too much.
26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.
27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does! ... very true.
28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
32. Guys hate girls who overreact.
33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
Doesn't this all make sense?
Never give to the poor.Help the poor.
A number of years ago a humanitarian organization went to Africa intending to alleviate pain and suffering. The group came upon a village (in a region I cannot recall) that suffered from an atrocious lack of sanitation services. There was no clean drinking water or sewage disposal. Children played freely in the stream of sewage that ran through the center of the village. Infectious disease claimed the lives of many villagers each month. Clearly, the people of this village needed help.
The humanitarian group, in accordance with their mission, set to rectify the situation. They paid many thousands of dollars to contractors to come to the village and build a modern water purification and waste disposal system. The contractors came, did their work, and within a few weeks the village was given a solution to their problems. The people had clean water, any trace of sewage disappeared, and the rate of disease decreased dramatically.
The humanitarian group commended themselves on a job well done (or so they believed), and left to give charity elsewhere while the villagers lived on happily ever after.
But the story does not end here. For while the humanitarians had given the villagers a great gift, they had not solved their problems.
Several months later, another humanitarian group came upon the village. They had heard about the great gift bestowed by the previous group, and wanted to see the effects of charity first hand. Much to their surprise, they found the village more squalid than ever. Once more children wallowed in sewage. Once more disease plagued the people. As before there was no clean water or sanitation to be found.
But how could this be true? The modern sanitation and water purification systems installed should have lasted for decades. Yet, in only a few months they had fallen into disrepair. The water stations were filthy and misused. A great act of charity had been for nothing!
The humanitarians, puzzled by the situation, sought the chief of the village, and asked him why his people had wasted such a gift. This was his reply.
"How can you blame us? We are simple people who know nothing of modern machinery. The others came and bestowed it upon us, and it was a great relief. But after they left, things began to break down. We do not possess the knowledge to repair these problems, and the result is before you."
That may be true, said the humanitarians, but what about the water stations? They have clearly been abused. Have you not the common sense to protect your own assets?
At this the chief looked at them cockeyed and replied.
"And what did you expect? These people had been many years without clean water. Then you gave it to them for free in abundance. They took all they could use and more. The people did not work for those water stations. They do not own them, and they could not be persuaded to maintain them."
The humanitarians were silent. The chief had spoken truth. The great gift alone had not been enough and the reasons could be clearly observed. Perhaps, it is human nature to abuse a gift. The humanitarians returned to their camp and thought long and hard about how they could help the villagers.
The next day the humanitarians returned, determined to rebuild the water and sanitation systems with the following conditions.
1. The villagers would have to pay for water and sanitation. Not more than they could afford, but there would be no gift giving this time.
2. A group of villagers would work with the contractors to build the system and would be taught how to repair every aspect of it. These villagers would in turn train others so the system would never fall into disrepair.
With these new conditions in place, the water and sanitation systems were stored. This time the people had respect for the systems because they owned them. This time they were able to repair the system when it broke down. To this day the villagers have plenty of clean water and live free of filth and disease.
The above story is grounded firmly in truth, though the details are mine. It was related to me by a college professor who was himself a member of the second group of humanitarians. Though I forget much of what he taught me, I do recall one very important saying.
Never give to the poor.
Help the poor.