10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

Commandment 1 : Marriages are made in heaven, but so again, are
thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2 : If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3 : Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4 : Married life is very frustrating. In the first year
of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,
the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both
speak and the neighbors listen.


Commandment 5 : When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is!

Commandment 6 : Marriage is when a man and woman become as one, the
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7 : Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall
asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8 : Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9 : Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding,
economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only
one husband.

Commandment 10 : Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he
is finished.