Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Appraisal

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "

Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation

**********

In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.

In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.

**********

In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.

In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.

**********

During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.

During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.

**********

There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.

There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.

**********

Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"

Monday, May 24, 2010

LESSONS FOR LIFE

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should,
let go of what you can't change and have no regrets.

7 tips to Control your Hunger

Our fitness trainers try to force us on a diet; our doctors warn us to control our food intake thanks to our high cholesterol levels; our wives and girlfriends have warned us they will walk out on us because of that excess baggage pouring over our belts! It is not as if we haven't tried. But it is just so darned hard to control our hunger! Sound familiar? Stay tuned. Rediff offers you tips to control that darn hunger so that you can go ahead and finally be successful in your attempts to stop overeating. Read more after the break...


1.Eat small frequent meals.

Want to lose weight? Eat more -- frequently, that is. Your body needs food to provide energy, repair damaged muscle tissue, and to carry out various other functions. But there are only so many nutrients it can draw from each meal. Large meals mean more nutrients than your body can handle, thus causing an 'overflow effect'. Thus, go for smaller, more frequent meals. They provide just the right amount of nutrients every few hours, without causing that overflow effect. They also maintain blood sugar levels, thus keeping your appetite and energy levels in control.

2. Don't skip meals!

Skipping meals and going too long without food can turn hunger pangs into irresistible cravings. To start with, don't skip breakfast! It is amazing how so many people skip this meal. If you are one of those, change that nasty food habit. NOW! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Your first meal of the day helps replenish all those nutrients lost during that all-night fast. It raises those early morning low blood sugar levels. Missing out on this meal means setting you up for low blood sugar levels and, thus, low energy levels and irresistible hunger pangs and cravings at lunchtime.

3. Eat your veggies!

Vegetables are healthy. They are chockfull with nutrients that can boost your health. They are also rich in fibre, the dieters' secret weapon to control hunger. While all vegetables are beneficial as far as good health and hunger control go, certain veggies, like broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and mushrooms, are super-high in fibre and have a negligible amount of calories. They can fill your stomach and control your hunger while filling you with a small amount of calories.

4. Eat more whole grains and less refined carbohydrates.

Whole grains, besides being healthier than their 'nutrient-stripped' refined counterparts, are also higher in fibre.
Thus they are more filling and satisfying. While refined carbs -- like idlis, dosas, white bread, white rice -- may be low in fat, they are higher in fibre. You may run the risk of over-consuming calories.

5. Eat slowly!

Give it a shot. It actually works. The brain actually takes ten minutes longer than the stomach to receive the message that it is full. Thus, eating too fast might cause you to eat beyond the point of fullness without even realising.

6. Sleep and shed those pounds!

Studies have found that people who sleep only five hours every night were 50 per cent more likely to be obese than those who sleep seven to nine hours. Researchers believe lack of sleep affects hormones related to appetite, causing you to gain pounds.

7. Drink more water!

Water is the healthiest, cheapest and most easily available appetite suppressant around. Thirst is often mistaken as hunger. Also, foods with high water content can fill you up easily. They naturally pack fewer calories for their volume. Toss together a salad of lettuce, cucumbers.

Don't call me bhaiya...ultimate!


This Message is Written inside an Auto Ricksaw in Hindi,
Which Reads: "Don't Call me Brother when you are Sitting with your Boy Friend. Thank You"

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Difference between http & https

FIRST , MANY PEOPLE ARE UNAWARE OF:
**The main difference between http:// and https:// < HTTPS://> is.

It's all about keeping you secure**

HTTP stands for HyperText Transport Protocol , which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language , in a manner of speaking) for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.

The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS.


The S (big surprise) stands for "Secure". If you visit a website or webpage , and look at the address in the web browser , it will likely begin with the following: http://.

This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular 'unsecure' language.

In other words , it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's conversation with the website.

If you fill out a form on the website , someone might see the information you send to that site.

This is why you never ever enter your credit card number in an http website!

But , if the web address begins with https:// < HTTPS://> , that basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.

You understand why this is so important , right?

If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information , you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https:// < HTTPS://> .

If it doesn't , there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number.

Solution To Unhappy Employees Without Appraisals

Today's Apt Quote!

Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God.

But,fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility

- Indian Army


Updated statement for this in S/W INDUSTRY........

.

.

.

Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager.

But,fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility

- Tester


We all knew that..... but this one is for the finishing touch, damn good.


Forgiving or punishing the Manager is left to Client.

But,fixing their appointment with Client is our responsibility

- Developer :)

Looking into future News Headlines in 2020

POLITICS

* President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi receive Italian Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi.
* Fight in Parliament to grab the next seat beside newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat, Sherlyn Chopra and Rakhi Sawant.
* Mayawati all set to install her 10,000 statue in UP Assembly.
* Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi signed a 100 years deal to rotate power in Tamil Nadu every 2 years.
* Raj Thackrey and his supporters fighting for a separate state for Marathi manoos. All set to form 76th Indian state.

TV and CINEMA

* Dhoom-17 ready for release.
* Mein to ab bhi jawan hoon - Dev Anand's new movie set for release where he plays son of Aamir Khan and Katrina Kaif.
* After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh's role in remake of 'Paa' .
* Amitabh's new movie with Shahrukh Khan's daughter 'Ek aur Nishabdh'.

SPORTS

* Lalit Modi to inagurate IPL Season-20 next week.
* Jayasuriya celebrated his 56th birthday with a century against Australia in a T20 match.
* Coach Ganguly resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st round after losing to South Korea.
* Navjot Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host the Guest too.

TECH

* Maruti launches its new Hovercraft 'SX-25'. Toyota to follow.
* Hyundai launches its new car i420.
* TRAI to add another 2 digits to mobile numbers. New numbers would soon have 20 digits.
* Intel launched its latest processor Intel Core10 Trio.

NATION

* Petrol Rs. 900 / ltr.
* Gold touched all time high 1,00,000 mark per 10 grams.
* Temperature set to touch 60°C mark in summer this year.
* Govt subsidized vegetables by 50%. Subsidized onion to cost Rs.200 per kg.
* Textile industry incurred loses of Rs.1,000 crores. Ministry blames bollywood actress.

Sardarji Jokes

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?

Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?

Just-one Singh.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

******

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

TYPICAL POLITICIANS

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

The woman rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.
Related Posts with Thumbnails