Don't call me bhaiya...ultimate!

This Message is Written inside an Auto Ricksaw in Hindi,
Which Reads: "Don't Call me Brother when you are Sitting with your Boy Friend. Thank You"

Difference between http & https

FIRST , MANY PEOPLE ARE UNAWARE OF:
**The main difference between http:// and https:// < HTTPS://> is.

It's all about keeping you secure**

HTTP stands for HyperText Transport Protocol , which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language , in a manner of speaking) for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.

The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS.


The S (big surprise) stands for "Secure". If you visit a website or webpage , and look at the address in the web browser , it will likely begin with the following: http://.

This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular 'unsecure' language.

In other words , it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's conversation with the website.

If you fill out a form on the website , someone might see the information you send to that site.

This is why you never ever enter your credit card number in an http website!

But , if the web address begins with https:// < HTTPS://> , that basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.

You understand why this is so important , right?

If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information , you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https:// < HTTPS://> .

If it doesn't , there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number.

Solution To Unhappy Employees Without Appraisals

Today's Apt Quote!

Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God.

But,fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility

- Indian Army


Updated statement for this in S/W INDUSTRY........

.

.

.

Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager.

But,fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility

- Tester


We all knew that..... but this one is for the finishing touch, damn good.


Forgiving or punishing the Manager is left to Client.

But,fixing their appointment with Client is our responsibility

- Developer :)

Looking into future News Headlines in 2020

POLITICS

* President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi receive Italian Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi.
* Fight in Parliament to grab the next seat beside newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat, Sherlyn Chopra and Rakhi Sawant.
* Mayawati all set to install her 10,000 statue in UP Assembly.
* Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi signed a 100 years deal to rotate power in Tamil Nadu every 2 years.
* Raj Thackrey and his supporters fighting for a separate state for Marathi manoos. All set to form 76th Indian state.

TV and CINEMA

* Dhoom-17 ready for release.
* Mein to ab bhi jawan hoon - Dev Anand's new movie set for release where he plays son of Aamir Khan and Katrina Kaif.
* After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh's role in remake of 'Paa' .
* Amitabh's new movie with Shahrukh Khan's daughter 'Ek aur Nishabdh'.

SPORTS

* Lalit Modi to inagurate IPL Season-20 next week.
* Jayasuriya celebrated his 56th birthday with a century against Australia in a T20 match.
* Coach Ganguly resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st round after losing to South Korea.
* Navjot Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host the Guest too.

TECH

* Maruti launches its new Hovercraft 'SX-25'. Toyota to follow.
* Hyundai launches its new car i420.
* TRAI to add another 2 digits to mobile numbers. New numbers would soon have 20 digits.
* Intel launched its latest processor Intel Core10 Trio.

NATION

* Petrol Rs. 900 / ltr.
* Gold touched all time high 1,00,000 mark per 10 grams.
* Temperature set to touch 60°C mark in summer this year.
* Govt subsidized vegetables by 50%. Subsidized onion to cost Rs.200 per kg.
* Textile industry incurred loses of Rs.1,000 crores. Ministry blames bollywood actress.

Sardarji Jokes

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?

Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?

Just-one Singh.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

******

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

TYPICAL POLITICIANS

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

The woman rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.

Ways to avoid getting duped at a petrol station

Fuel prices are getting dearer by the day but are we getting every drop of fuel paid for? Well, if the outpouring of woes online is any indicator, then no, we have a long way to go to prevent being cheated at fuel stations.

These are some who have realized the bluff, though may not have taken the outlet to task - but there are many others who aren't aware of such nefarious deeds. Hence the possibility of them getting duped is even more likely, and often repeatedly.

So as customers, how can we ensure we aren't at the receiving end of this trickery? What are the precautions that need to be taken and how do we get our grievances addressed? Here's more-

Precautions

• Keep a keen eye on YOUR fuel pump - especially in the beginning and just before the end of the fill. Avoid all distractions - it's indeed a blessing that cell phones aren't allowed in fuel stations. Other distractions like your car stereo or balancing your 2-wheeher can be avoided too.
• Make sure the fuel attendant has heard the amount right. To be doubly sure, ask the attendant to repeat, just as you in restaurants, though this should be a lot easier for him.
• Pay the amount ONLY AFTER the filling is complete. In most cases, either due to our overzealousness or simply being told by the attendant, we often end-up fiddling our pockets or wallets, in the process neglecting the fill.
• Keep track of your fuel indicator during every refill, for this reading can be good source of verification. If your 2-wheeler fuel indicator takes that little longer to reflect, do wait by the side until it shows up. You really wouldn't want to find out being duped in the middle of traffic.
• Also, it's a misplaced notion that meters in fuel pumps are tamper-proof. While meter tampering is a grave issue, it can only be checked by specialists. However, this can be checked by informing the concerned fuel company.

In spite of these precautions, if you still get duped, it's best to file a complaint. Take my word, the process isn't as cumbersome as one may imagine, in fact it is a lot more effective than creating a ruckus at the petrol station.

You can share your complaint at the 'Indian Consumer Complaints Forum' or even better - register it directly with the respective fuel company. Their websites have contact details of various regional offices that you can directly walk-in to as well as an online complaint form and even a toll-free number.

And if you're wondering if they do ever respond, well, in our case the field-officer from one of the regional offices promptly called to enquire, and ensured that the grievance was addressed. Nevertheless, we could have avoided all this, had we practiced what we just preached :)

Recruitment of Girl Friend

Dear Friends,

Due to recession, I left my Girlfriend (as part of my cost cutting efforts). I need new one now, so pass on this information to your female friends...

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:

Designation: Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience: Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement: Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age: 18-23 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will be undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:

Total gross (Monthly) :
• 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000 /-(any precious metals, stones)
• Bike rides each duration 1 hour
• Trips to National Highways
• 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Siddhi vinayak Temple
• Kulfis / Chocó bars at a regular gap of 3 days
• Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
• 2 movies per month (Except on weekends)
• Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (At your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and Un-professional taxes will be informed on joining.
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Please NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.
Candle light/Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.
Search never ends!!

Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject: Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be attached in the email

Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.

Remarry?

One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation over dinner.

Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

Husband: Definitely not!

Wife: Why not - don't you like being married?

Husband: Of course I do.

Wife: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Husband: Okay, I'd get married again.

Wife: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

Husband: (makes audible groan)

Wife: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

Husband: Where else would we sleep?

Wife: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?

Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Wife: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

Husband: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

Wife: - - - silence - - -

Husband: sh*t.sh*t.sh*t...