Life is not a game to lose!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Apple Disaster

Be Careful while eating apples. Please don't eat the skin of the apple
b'coz it's coated with wax Check before you eat many of the fruits. WAX
is being used as preservation Purposes and then cold stored. You might
be surprised especially

apples from USA and other parts are more than one year old, though it
would look fresh. Becox wax is coated preventing bacteria to enter. So
it does not get dry. Please Eat Apples after taking the wax as
demonstrated below.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

13 Signs you are falling in Love!

[Click on snap to get full screen image]

JEALOUSY

Santa!

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

*********
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily
since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

*********
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy
potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?

***********
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one
customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

***********
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell
me where.

************
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover
is crying furiously...
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy,
I will marry again.

************
Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch
him from the key hole.

**************

Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to Punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.

==============================

==========
Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein
hospital ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein "Delivery Free" hai.

==============================================
A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab **ï¿½ ?o
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

=================================================

American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

==============================

=========================
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

=========================================================
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta
hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
==============================================
Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.
==============================================
2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will
think that we both copied.

==============================================
A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney.
==============================================
Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos (Miser), I went 2 honeymoon
alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You saved nothing I saved all my money, my friend
was going & I sent my wife with him.

Not that you could hardly notice

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to
marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous
daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to
marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, 'They're lookin' to get married, so you came
to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want.'
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the
man's opinion.
'Well,' said the man, 'she's just a weeeeee bit,
not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed.'
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one
of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
'Well,'the man replied, 'she's just a weeeeee bit,
not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed.'
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl
to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,
'She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry'
So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the
ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his
father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the
beauty of the parents.
'Well,' explained the farmer,
'She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...
pregnant when you met her.

'A Hug Is The Best Valentine Treat'

Showing a loved one you care on Valentine's Day does not need not to break the bank - most people just want a hug and a kiss, according to a new survey.

Flowers and chocolates are the least wanted gifts on February 14, the research for Imperial Leather found.

Even a romantic weekend away rated less highly than a cuddle and a smooch among those questioned.

The survey for the toiletries brand also found that one in three people were receiving less than one hug a day, and three-quarters wanted to be hugged more often.

"A hug is an important part of life.

"We are basically animals and so need physical contact like animals do.

"Couples often forget to hug each other because they are working such long hours and are busy when they get home.

"So make sure you make time for a hug and a kiss this Valentine's Day."

An Imperial Leather spokesman added: "It's heart-warming to see people value hugs and kisses with their partners more than extravagant and expensive gifts.

"Clearly the simplest gifts are the best and a hug and a kiss is one present money just can't buy."

Illegal Immigrant's Poem

I cross ocean, poor and broke.
Take bus, see employment folk.

Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.

Welfare say, 'You come no more,
we send cash right to your door.'

Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy!
NHS - it keep you healthy!

By and by, I got plenty money.
Thanks to you, British dummy!

Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'

They come in turbans and Ford trucks.
I buy big house with welfare bucks!

They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better!

Fourteen families, they moving in,
but neighbour's patience wearing thin.
ïFinally, white guy moves away.

Now I buy his house,then I say,
'Find more aliens for house to rent.'
And in the yard I put a tent.

Everything is very good,
and soon we own the neighbourhood.

We have hobby, it's called breeding.
Welfare pay for baby's feeding.

Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!

Britain crazy! They pay all year,
To keep welfare running here.

We think UK darn good place.
Too darn good for the white man race!

If they no like us, they can scram.
Got lots of room in Pakistan!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Identify the person who bullies you

Tackling the ‘bully menace’ does not mean going the American way i.e. ‘Take a gun, go to the office, and shoot them all and finally yourself.’ The real strategy lies in resisting being bullied through the following methods:

• First identify if you are being bullied. Then identify the bully.

• Be aware of your rights.

• Never feel down and out.

• Keep a diary of events.

• Pen down your strengths and your tormentor’s weakness.

• During confrontations maintain your dignity.

• Involve your seniors whenever required.

• Be consistent about the going on’s and tell your real story.

• Be specific and firm.

• Keep emotional outbursts under check.

• Insist on knowing what action has been planned in your case.